I used to strangle my both of my cats despite telling myself multiple times that I'd stop. I'd also bite their legs and nape, a few times hard enough to draw blood. I also would throw them at my bed and occasionally trap them under my plastic see-through waste bin, sit on top of it, and watch them freak out until I felt bad enough and let them out. Worse part is, I told myself I would never do it again after my first cat, Nico, died (unrelated to any of this, he was an outdoor cat and got lost and froze to death out in a storm) and then when another cat walked into my life things were going fine for a few years and then I fell back into those terrible habits again. She was very young when we found her, and eventually after doing it enough times she'd press herself close to me to get me to stop. Eventually I quit for good and I think she was very forgiving towards me. I'm almost certain that my mom knew and probably my brother too. Also, I've verbally told this to one other person, just because I think it's something at least one person in my life knows about me, no matter how heinous. Also that whole thing about karma kind of rings true. For all the horrible things I did, she died painfully young at the age of 4 from a kidney infection and I held her in my arms as she left me. Probably the most grief-stricken moment of my life. Definite guarantee I'll never do any of this again. Props if you actually read all of this, need to eventually tell my boyfriend too, I'm not very good at keeping secrets anyways...