I always find it funny when people pretend to use bananas as phones. work every morning at 6am.the minute anyone else is around she completely changes into a perfect angel. i have thought about leaving and signing myself into a mental hospital or drugging her into a zombie like state. she is making me crazy and i hate her so much i dont even want to look at her.I’m so tired. Last year my husband if 2 years forced me to leave him 6 months pregnant with our daughter (domestic violence situation). I have been with my parents for a year and am working on a divorce (further complicated because I never reported abuse to the police). we had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep her out of my makeup and jewlery which she has broken/lost and colored with and now i have to wake up at 545am because she destroys the house while im sleeping since she wakes up before my husband leaves for love of my baby, and I know that she deserves better than what she would have had if we were together, but I miss my husband. I feel like I only left to protect her (which is why I still won’t go back), but I don’t deserve any better than what I had and if it wasn’t for keeping her safe. I have the 2y/o from hell. she hits me bites me throws things at me screams/yells at me all day everyday for the last 6months or so. Anything she ruins belongs to me she wont touch her fathers things and shes always getting into things she never goes near when her father is home. I never would have left (even if it killed me). I really believe at this point that the only reason I am alive is because of something happened to me she would go to him. If that wasn’t the case, I would just kill myself. MAMAMOWA

I always find it funny when people pretend to use bananas as phones. work every morning at 6am.the minute anyone else is around she completely changes into a perfect angel. i have thought about leaving and signing myself into a mental hospital or drugging her into a zombie like state. she is making me crazy and i hate her so much i dont even want to look at her.I’m so tired. Last year my husband if 2 years forced me to leave him 6 months pregnant with our daughter (domestic violence situation). I have been with my parents for a year and am working on a divorce (further complicated because I never reported abuse to the police). we had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep her out of my makeup and jewlery which she has broken/lost and colored with and now i have to wake up at 545am because she destroys the house while im sleeping since she wakes up before my husband leaves for love of my baby, and I know that she deserves better than what she would have had if we were together, but I miss my husband. I feel like I only left to protect her (which is why I still won’t go back), but I don’t deserve any better than what I had and if it wasn’t for keeping her safe. I have the 2y/o from hell. she hits me bites me throws things at me screams/yells at me all day everyday for the last 6months or so. Anything she ruins belongs to me she wont touch her fathers things and shes always getting into things she never goes near when her father is home. I never would have left (even if it killed me). I really believe at this point that the only reason I am alive is because of something happened to me she would go to him. If that wasn’t the case, I would just kill myself. MAMAMOWA
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My Husband kids family joke - At the ripe old age of 36. I find myself sinking deeper and deeper into this deep dark hole that is my life. After being married for 12 years. And raising 2 kids. I don't know who I am. I find myself unable to function without being told where to go or how to get there. And my children they are good kids but they abuse my love as does my husband. They all take me for granted. I do and do and do for all 3 of them and in return I get nothing. Years have gone by and I've never received a mother's day card or an anniversary card or present or birthday card. Now I don't expect much from my 2 kids because they are now 11 and 6. But it's really hard for me to see over the years all my so called friends on Facebook bragging in detailed pictures about what they've gotten from they're kids or husband for some special occasion. Year after year I've gotten nothing. And it's not that I need to be showered with gifts. I just want them to appreciate me. My home is literally falling apart. And I'm not exaggerating when I say falling apart. About a year ago I had a Restoration company come look at my home because of a sewage smell that wouldn't go away and they found mold and that the main support beam had slid almost a foot from where it needed to be. The flooring in my home is so bowed that the floor and walls have separated and there is now a huge gap between them. Being the fact we rent from my husbands family. They just blow us off. So nothing will ever be done about it. My husband would much rather spend money on his ridiculous get rich quick jobs anyway. My home is always a wreck. Dishwasher stopped working the dryer only works some times. And the harder I try to clean up after everyone the deeper I sink into this depression because I realize how much no one give a damn about anyone but themselves. My children leave messes everywhere. I ask and beg and scream for them to clean it up and they will. But then turn around and just do it all over again. And as for they're father he does the same thing. But instead of him picking anything up he makes our kids clean his messes up. I have tried to talk to my mother about this but she has her own life in constantly tells me " I don't want to get involved". One time I tried to get her to let me and the kids stay with her over the summer and I even had a job lined up down there. I offered to pay rent for us staying there. But she said….. well she avoided answering me. So I knew she didn't want me to. I have know one to help me. I have know one to make me feel any better about this situation. My husband would rather play with his chickens and run off to auctions than take the time to throw a baseball with his son. I had to hire a high school kid to help him with his swing and throwing. My heart is breaking into a million pieces. I have no real friends. Hell I don't even have any fake ones I work my ass off come home to a dirty broken down house. There isn't any romance in my marriage. We never go anywhere it's the same old shit. What do I do? How do I break this cycle? I need this to stop. I'm so depressed I'm tired of being sad. This isn't life. This isn't living.

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