Vermillion Pt 2

Adultery Pride Envy Covetousness Love Lose of faith Prejudice Rape Worship satan

she seemed dressed in all of me stretched across my shame all the torment and the pain leaked through and covered me id do anything to have her to myself just to have her for myself now i dont know what to do i dont know what to do when she makes me sad she is everything to me the unrequited dream the song that no one sings the unattainable she's a myth that i have to beleive in all i need to make it real is one more reason i dont know what to do i dont know what to do when she makes me sad but i wont let this build this inside me i wont let this build up inside me a catch in my throat choke torn into pieces i wont no i dont want to be this but i wont let this build up inside me i wont let this build up inside me she isnt real i cant make her real she isnt real i cant make her real

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I was married for 25 years and very unhappy, unappreciated,lonely, and neglected. I told my husband how I felt and that I had reacquainted myself with an old friend and that he had been saying alot of seductive and flattering things to me and I liked hearing them and feeling attractive. I love my husband and told him that I did had not cheated but I did have the desire to. I also told him I wanted the feelings of being in love back that I used to have with him. He told me that we had been married too long and we would never get those feelings back. I no longer talk to that old friend anymore but about a month later I became friends with an old friend from high school on facebook and we started talking. Me feeling very lonely I was very attracted to him and the life he lived and the kind words he had to say to me and once I got an invitation to go see this friend I did. We had the best sex I'd had in years and 3 days later I went to see him again. Soon after the affair began I left my husband and about a month after that I moved in with my friend and we are still together and I am very happy. My confession is this, I was married for along time and have 2 grown children. I still care for my ex, although I cant be with him. I want to keep him in my life somehow. I don't know how to just let go and move on.

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