So sorry

I am so so sorry, I am sorry for not be too friendly, how can I be more. I am sorry for who I am but i don`t know better. I am sorry for my body, it`s fat, sluggy and heavy, but this is my heritage til birth. I am sorry for being sorry all the time and actually, I dont feel sorry at all. This is who i am fat, lazy, addicted, social handicapped and a 30yrs old virgin. fuck all of you. I have a good heart and compation but I cant express my love. I had open my heart before give a chance to trust life, but I failed. I can not let go my old habbits. I am doomed to lonely life and rotten jobs. my only ease is in the food, drugs and TV, it is so boring. I dont have any where to escape any more I fustrate and furios I hate this fucking life and afraid to live them. mostly i afraid from the time that tun day after day, year after year like crazy. I getting old and crazy. soon, I will need help, my pride will not let me reach my hand for help, I had a liitle bit sence of Panic. what should I do? I have all the answers, like I always had. I have the potential I dont have the power to concive it. that`s my story, this is my tragedy.
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This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

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I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes. I'm bad like really bad. But looking at me you would never know. People are catching on as my life falls apart. I've been living like a quadruple life I guess. I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't think of anything I like. I hate everything and everyone. I have no friends left, the women of my life cheated lied and stole the entire time I've known them. Most of my buddies too. Just users you know. I always offer too much and people gladly accept my generosity. I always try and help but it eventually becomes them being entirely dependent on me. Then they go and I've lost so much in them. I never see the fruits of my labours. Now I'm totally alone. And financially ruined. Relying on booze and drugs to feel better about the shitty person I am. I pray to god thanking him only, not asking for more. He still rewards me a lot. Gives me great opportunity and strength to conquer challenges. But I can't conquer myself. I want to end my life. Nobody would notice except the few leeches who still cling to my generosity. Everybody I've helped is doing great. I never took time to take care of myself, or set myself up better. My friends, wife, in laws, girlfriends, and associates have all benefitted greatly from my efforts but I'm fucked mentally physically and financially. I even still protect people after they betray me. Keep their secrets, bend to their requests. I'm going to blow my brains out. I hate this world, it's ruined anyway. Goodby you fucked up people. There's a good chance that there is someone in your life going through this who helped you a lot. I bet you won't even reach out to repay what's owed. Sick fucking society world wide.

I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes. I'm bad like really bad. But loo...