Confessions about 'Bu'

Page 24 of 198

Debt I've gotten myself so far in debt that I just cannot breathe. There's no way out of it. Nobody knows, I feel so alone and like the world is crashing down on me. I can't sleep. I'm terrified every second of every day that my husband will find out. My marriage of 25 years is already rocky, at best- this will end it. I'll be starting over with nothing at 43 years old. I just want to go to sleep forever...

Debt I've gotten myself so far in debt that I just cannot breathe. There's no way out of it. Nobody...

Abuse

At risk for eating disorder I am 5 ft 6, 21 years old, 140 lbs and I am at a high risk at developing an eating disorder. I'm technically in a healthy weight range, but I obsess about losing 10 lbs. I don't want an eating disorder but I don't know how to stop it. I feel like Jackal and Hyde--I fight against my negative body image and try to tell myself that I'm fine the way I am, but my Jackal monster is defeating me and making me hate mt appearance. I worry about guys finding me attractive, or rather not finding me attractive. I think the root of the issue is that I'm a 21 year old virgin. My ex-boyfriend and I were intimate and almost had sex, but he broke up with me the day after we discussed it. Maybe if I'm thin and beautiful, somebody will love me? I recognize how stupid and shallow that sounds, but it's a slippery slope that I can't get off.

At risk for eating disorder I am 5 ft 6, 21 years old, 140 lbs and I am at a high risk at developin...

Lie, Abuse

i actually don't care either way if you never answer your phone or speak to me again. its your feeling and I am not you and I am living my life separate to everyone else's !

i actually don't care either way if you never answer your phone or speak to me again. its your feeli...

Abuse

most guys I have known, I have liked them until they abuse me and I find out what assholes they are.

most guys I have known, I have liked them until they abuse me and I find out what assholes they are....

Abuse, Hate

Unfortunate Every once in awhile...I miss Jordan. A lot. I liked him a lot. This sort of thing happens to me a lot. Meeting guys who train me or teach me or work with or ambulance or police officers who have helped me and I know I am not what they are looking for. they would like me more if I was who I was 30 years ago or 17 years ago. because we have a professional relationship I never push it any further. I have nothing to say about the hurt other then it hurts being alone. I miss all the guys I liked at college and university I couldn't get with. now i rarely meet men. i just am always surrounded by fat ass whore sluts thrice married dogs out on the hunt for more cock somewhere. the bitches want to hug me and they make me sick. even at the church they wouldn't let me mix with any men and it wasn't even a catholic church. I have met some good looking men that I know would never go out with a girl like me back then or a woman like me now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAnWu7lpKWo i get sick of leso around bullying me when i am not a leso and i look at a lot of hot men. even with education or degrees or anything men don't like red hair and you have to rich and drop dead beautiful so they die on the spot! i only want a nice guy not any of the losers from my past.

Unfortunate Every once in awhile...I miss Jordan. A lot. I liked him a lot. This sort of thing happe...

Abuse, Hate

sure I don't believe that people just get there by hard work and action. sorry but i aint a believer!

sure I don't believe that people just get there by hard work and action. sorry but i aint a believer...

Abuse, Hate

u stole the pink/silver dress and pink jacket where did you put them how evil you are; how could you do that and look at me and lie?

u stole the pink/silver dress and pink jacket where did you put them how evil you are; how could you...

Abuse, Hate

i won't justify a pedo abusing people and i am not you idiot!

Abuse, Hate

I regret making the decision to be smart rather than pretty when I was in my teens, I still don't know why I went to university it didn't give me a job? so confused.

I regret making the decision to be smart rather than pretty when I was in my teens, I still don't kn...

Abuse, Hate

I go to ballet and was in church choir only because I won't sing to a devil. I only mix in certain circles and I am careful about the company I keep and what I do so I don't compromise myself or my beliefs. as I told rick when katy and bec and him were fooling me around "I didn't go out with you that night because I didn't want to compromise my virtue or safety because you were acting so stupid and bec only wanted to know when my periods were" I know why because they were trying to get me raped back in 1999. I know that. don't believe for a minute that these people were real friends and cared cuz if a real friend cared they would get off their ass and show it it would unquestionable loyalty unless they did something wrong, right. like my friends if my friend needed help I would go talk to her parents. if my friend was having trouble finding a man I would help her the RIGHT WAY. and there is a right and wrong way. and your better know it when dealing with me! my mum knows they are real friends were never real friends. ken was never really caring. no man who really cared would do that. if you cared you would get a girl to a hospital quick in case of brain damage. you wouldn't even message around! why leigh thought she could take women on a ship and pass them off as entertainment to married men I will never understand in the doctrines of the lord god. jesus christ! it confuses me every day why that nutter was so sick. I go to flower events and I go to some church events and I am very extreme right wing thinking but vote mostly socialist but now and then liberal and green. but seriously. I am not gonna be told how to think and be controlled by sarina russo nazi hitler! that woman is going to face her devil and face my god and be punished. you better believe it woman, well I don't even believe she is a woman and I think she knew exactly what she was doing she was trying to make mini quazi clones of herself just like joyce was but not as rich or married. and I do believe sarina has kids too by the way. she is a liar. just like joyce is a lair, joyce and leigh are also people who will face their devil and face my god and be punished. so will the royals and celebs and companies and people who abused me. I faced my demons and god and done my penance set out by a dirty niggar islander set up by bayside church and before that by the catholics. have any of you? bet you haven't! I have not had sex other then being raped and abused. I haven't have a sexual feeling or liason with a man in completely decades. that is how abused and penance supressed these disgusting islanders and catholics are. but we will see what their penance and price will be for abusing me? we will see how the royals and blacks etc have to face what they did to bill and got him to abuse me and my family ! god is out to get you cuz I know and bills spirit has been speaking to me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWBK8vhMQdQ&t=408s it happens it is real.

I go to ballet and was in church choir only because I won't sing to a devil. I only mix in certain c...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

the word "tribe" if your in business marketing has been a pop word for the last few years. "bouncing market to your tribe" "know your tribe" etc. tribes and the quiet sutble nuances of tribal restorative practices in community are being bounced around and people are so dumbed down they can't see what is happening cuz they are so worried about being labelled racist rather then self preserationist of their own white culture like its a dirty word to want to protect your own rights as a white person. because multiculturalism does not work and never did, and never will. mark my words on that. you will never be one of "them"! no matter how much you try!!!!!

the word "tribe" if your in business marketing has been a pop word for the last few years. "bouncing...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

"its a lot easier to fool people then to convince them they have been fooled" I heard this recently and its true. once you turn your back on everyone against god and jesus and against the holy spirit and the saints etc. cuz those rich people are never gonna care about you. they fake their whole religion in sweet pics off to church and they are liars.

"its a lot easier to fool people then to convince them they have been fooled" I heard this recently ...

Abuse, Hate

my life has changed and my eyes have opened to the evil sick famous celebs and royals and I could see this stuff back years ago learning semiotics and the world is sick beyond help now. I found call for uprising, mr e and jungle surfer and mary40 and bamugly truth and others who are real heroes! I just want people to listen with a open mind and heart to people like benny hinn and these churches and real thinkers! who refuse to be fooled by satans gang. I told someone today its true that these black tribes are not real christains. they have their tribal magic religion and fake at being our white religion til they take us over. its right across the board in all black cultures from asia to arabs to africans and abos, etc all of them they are out to drag white poeple down. we have never had full time jobs and proper schooling and we are white. australians are sick of being pushed down by all these cultures. multiculturalism doesn't work there is no utopia sweetheart! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-vuXUxeksI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL9sfppMfw0 our jobs and rights are being taken from us because we are white christains. you would be suprised how many other cultures are extremely jealous of white catholics and the blacks chased most white people out of their traditional churches and homes to the point they don't have a place or face and don't have rights. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRTu0ZRyjtY I get past the personalities like russel brand and give them fair hearing but can all these people be wrong about wicca satanic occults in royals and media and famous? how can they all be wrong all the time? no. and the other thing is that you could turn it around and say "well they are just crazy and how can all these famous people be so crazy or bad ?" but my answer is "do truely think that these rich privelliged royals and celebs have morals and would do good for the better of the world like the average god fearing penance living christian in common folk. I mean you need to wake up to the real world. I know I will haters saying all this but only a true christain would say it. god only askes us to fear him and do right by him and jesus. my world has just become whole finding all these people that most people would say "they are extremists" but I can see that they are saying "save the christains from the hell of liars"! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVME_l4IwII&t=496s your being programmed by the music and the level of hertz etc. I found few songs in the last 2 weeks with that milliellian woaah-wwooh sound its everywhere.

my life has changed and my eyes have opened to the evil sick famous celebs and royals and I could se...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

these pack of whores in this group I was pushed to go to by my therapist who is a stuck up whore herself, all the women are sluts, jumped up dogs looking for more cock and one 1 of them could be half way a friend material cuz the rest are all so full of self pity and self obsessed self love and all I ever hear WHEN I GO TO MEETINGS AND THESE WOMENS GROUPS LIKE THE ABOS SAID IN MELBORNE TO US I FEEL THE SAME WAY, "I AM OK BUT YOUR NOT OK" THAT IS THE MESSAGE I HEAR. "I AM ENTITLED TO MORE COCK AND PRESTIGE WORK BUT YOU ARE NOT, I HAVE HAD KIDS AND I DESERVE MORE KIDS AND MORE SEX AND MORE MONEY AND YOU DON'T" THAT IS ALL I HAVE EVER HEARD ALL MY LIFE.

these pack of whores in this group I was pushed to go to by my therapist who is a stuck up whore her...

Abuse, Hate

i need employment and thinking about going overseas and relocating to find work and a better life and love that I can't find in this shitbound hole.

i need employment and thinking about going overseas and relocating to find work and a better life an...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

bill molested me due to satanic occult with soft drink companies and all these illuminati people. I believe that I always believed deep down black people and occult elites were behind it. something just told me that.

bill molested me due to satanic occult with soft drink companies and all these illuminati people. I ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

bill was encouraged to abuse our family by royals and celebrities and black people.

Pride, Abuse, Hate

nothing is changed when it comes to the people I hate also and who abused me and they all know who they are.

nothing is changed when it comes to the people I hate also and who abused me and they all know who t...

Abuse, Hate

I'm flat out affording sanitary items for myself. all my money goes into education then my own health and I have no one to care about my needs.

I'm flat out affording sanitary items for myself. all my money goes into education then my own healt...

Abuse, Hate

when I was in grade 1 and 2 you were threatened with the cane and get 10 cuts if you didn't know your maths times tables off by heart.

when I was in grade 1 and 2 you were threatened with the cane and get 10 cuts if you didn't know you...

Abuse, Hate