i can't carry all of this right now. i need a break.

you should know me well enough by now to know I am certaintaly NOT the flattering kind or the loving kind of person. I never trust anyone and so far no one has given me reason to trust them, I just regreat that I was vulnerable and let down my guard to trusted people I shouldn't have like joyce and rick and russell and ken and frank and a heap of colleges and simple whore sally! and that whore emma - that thing sure as hell doesn't walk in beauty like the night and is evil if you ask me. you had me fooled for a little while like anna-maria and those pathetic whiney painbreed-breeding sinsoul churches but I am not the loving or forgiving or flattering kind! you should you know that by now, once bitteten never forget! and I never forgive like my sister and mother and father- we are a family who do not forgive others! like rose said, she said it right! this dirty old scum lapping slime licking bum shit town has never done me a good or right ever. why should I save the dirty cunt city hole it is! all scum around here! the only one who is not scum is perfect me! when your perfect your alone, but you don't have to love for anyone or anything!

you should know me well enough by now to know I am certaintaly NOT the flattering kind or the loving...

I have never been in love ever, my cousins told me "your heart is a useless organ" and "no one cares" well I won't love and I won't care til people learn to treat me how I want to be treated. I have hate in me, hate hate hate for the way I have been abused. I can hate and look down at scum. just because they rich or royal don't mean it aint scum! or above reproach and sin and murder!

I have never been in love ever, my cousins told me "your heart is a useless organ" and "no one cares...

kelly told me "don't you dare forgive or apologise to anita " so I don't. I won't ever apologise to anyone ever again as a matter of fact and I AM ALWAYS RIGHT. FEW PEOPLE ARE AS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AS ME. CUZ I DON'T ALLOW MY EMOTIONS AND MY DESIRES TO RULE ME. I DON'T LEAD WITH THE HEART OR THE GENITALS. I LEAD WITH THE HEAD AND ANGRY EYES. LOOK AT EVERYONE STERN AND MEAN AND COLD AND HARD LIKE THEY ARE UP TO SOMETHING. AND WHEN I SMILE ITS ALL FAKE.

kelly told me "don't you dare forgive or apologise to anita " so I don't. I won't ever apologise to ...