I think my dads personal career dreams was to work in politics or sports commentary but I am not sure, a lot of people made fun of my grandmother or great grandfather buying my dad this huge old dictionary when he was a child and he took piano lessons and he liked a big variety of music but I don't know sometimes he says to me I would like to learn more of what I know and new things as well, he has done some, to be honest. where as my mum had done dressmaking and photography as a teenager but my mother likes a variety of things like a writing group. I guess we all have dreams mine was to graduate and marry and have children and I wanted to do a variety of things and not be pushed down into one area of work perminantly. but I have not achieved all of what I wanted. I have never liked the way I wanted to be for the giving person I am inside. I think I made the mistakes of being too forgiving too spiritual. I got into meditation rather young at school and in me there is a bit of a frustrated actress, a frustrated paralegal, a frustrateed person in all ways, wondering "oh why was i never good enough for the youthful loving romance I wanted and a special beautiful wedding day that I helped others do".

I think my dads personal career dreams was to work in politics or sports commentary but I am not sure, a lot of people made fun of my grandmother or great grandfather buying my dad this huge old dictionary when he was a child and he took piano lessons and he liked a big variety of music but I don't know sometimes he says to me I would like to learn more of what I know and new things as well, he has done some, to be honest. where as my mum had done dressmaking and photography as a teenager but my mother likes a variety of things like a writing group. I guess we all have dreams mine was to graduate and marry and have children and I wanted to do a variety of things and not be pushed down into one area of work perminantly. but I have not achieved all of what I wanted. I have never liked the way I wanted to be for the giving person I am inside. I think I made the mistakes of being too forgiving too spiritual. I got into meditation rather young at school and in me there is a bit of a frustrated actress, a frustrated paralegal, a frustrateed person in all ways, wondering "oh why was i never good enough for the youthful loving romance I wanted and a special beautiful wedding day that I helped others do".
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More from 'Abuse' category

i have given up believing i can lose weight. just like i gave up believing I could find love a long time ago. some people just never find love especially when you know you shouldn't settle for less and don't want to anymore. I just don't believe all humans are ment to have love or know what it is. some humans are not ment to know what pretty and slim is. I can't do it all alone without gloria marshal type support and all the shop junk diet shakes are so loaded with shit and sugar they will make you ill. i just think once you hit a certain age you know it in yourself when you can't give or do anymore. i knew that about me over 10 years ago. i gave up looking for love in 2004 or 2005 I felt ugly all the time no matter what I did. and it just got worse it would help if i could wear the pretty feminine clothing I want to express myself the way I want to. but there is a energy force that doesn't want me pretty or loved or feeling good in myself. it doesn't even want me alive but i am inspite through god. a woman knows in herself when her attractability time and childbaring time is over. she knows this internally and everyone wronged me. they are more to blame then I am. people need to learn that i am my own best expert about myself and when people don't jump and move when I tell them they should not bother at all. it when i want it or not at all. everyone wronged me. and I am going to harm them and I want them to suffer in ways they can't imagine for all this suffering. my parents have a hate people.

i have given up believing i can lose weight. just like i gave up believing I could find love a long ...