I just can't help myself

I know its wrong, but I just can't stop writing utter utter drivel.  I write about 20 letters a day to all the people I stalk, I drive miles to post them so they don't know they are from me and I lick each envelope with my "lips".  Chris Ryan once told me that its wrong to do, but when I asked Andy McNab, he said it was OK as long as I let his friends (hush hush) bivvy up in my back garden. I also send a lot of crap e-mails to people.  I adore people from afar, even though I have never met them, but then I spoil it all by posting their names and addresses on the internet.  I like to watch small boys playing on the beach in my Seaside Town while I take my crack and drink White Lightning and play my banjo. I also have ginger hair.  Can anyone help? BB x