... As We Forgive Those Who Trespass Against Us.

I just found this site an hour ago.  Here goes.  I abused powerless persons; persons unable to retaliate.  I also tortured wild animals I was planning on killing for sport in my youth. In first grade, a kid was throwing rocks at me, I knocked him unconscious. I have taken my Lord's name in vain. I still love my first love.  I have dealt with varying degrees of covetousness concerning her ever since she got married in '99.  I have passively pursued her in her marriage in letting our mutual friends know that if whe left him, I will always be there for her. I have been filled with hate anger and unforgiveness for various persons:  My father who abused me, friends who interfered with me and my relationship with my first love, unfair college professors and especially administrators, persons involved in my drug addictions, and co-workers.  I have learned the lesson of forgiveness, but still struggle with hate and anger.  I wasted many years of my life living in drug dens, living off of the independent wealth of my mother.  My relationship with my mother for the first thirty years was based in the majority on lies on my part. I stole $80 from my freshman colege roommate, because I felt he ripped me off on geltabs earlier.  I have changed much in the past two years.  I pray for forgiveness.      
20

Next post in 20s

Will redirect automatically

This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

More from 'Pride' category

I woke up really sick yesterday morning I was having a meltdown panic attack over it. I got up and I was flat out walking to the toilet and so incredibly dizzy and nauseated and had some gastro as well. I was beside myself crying that the mastoid infection thing could happen again or the RN said could I have had food poisoning because I told her I had had jauntis a few weeks ago bit was just in around the eyes and I get that from time to time. anyway before I rang the doctor I remembered I had some tablets for dizzy spells so I took 1 cuz my gp isn't back from holiday yet if I get really sick I will call a home doctor or go down to the VP24 they are better then the stupid hospital. I was crying tonight because I don't want to die from this thing and I have to go to hospital soon for something I can't talk about anyway. I don't want to die. I don't want to go through it again like last time. I would kill myself then go through it again. I said that back in 2000 after that huge middle ear infection I used to lay over the side of the bed facing the floor crying all day and all night for over 6 years and I thought that was bad enough. I thought i was gonna die then but each time it has got worse. I fear so much. I got to cope some how all alone in this. no one is gonna care when i die. no one has ever cared about me. I just don't want to have anymore senseless injections of shit in me and no more xrays and ct scans of my brain etc. Mri's fine but like the RN said for me not to take anymore tablets incase the doctor fines something more wrong but I have to go to hospital in a few weeks time for something else. I can't have all these problems, sure this was not as bad as when I needed the ambulance with my brain swelling after i washed my hair and everything was double and I couldn't walk straight for weeks. I used to slide side ways up and down the hall way checking on my mothers breathing a dozen times a night when I was really sick. I have to go to hospital in a few weeks and I don't want anyone worrying about me. I am alone in this illness and i am coping as best as i can. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoG4z3c-rZY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgp2gheUjLA Rn asked me if I have recently hit my head, "hit my head, I can't remember! since the car accident" but usually its the dam cupboard in the kitchen I hit my head on or something else inflicted. but I am feeling a bit better today anyway.

I woke up really sick yesterday morning I was having a meltdown panic attack over it. I got up and I...