Someone recently passed away and i've been feeling so sad because of this, but the weird part is that, i wasn't close to that person at all, i didn't know anything about him other than his name and what he did for a living, yet my heart feels heavy and somewhat guilty. It almost feels as if i lost someone that was so close to my heart, like we knew each other for a very long time, i have this weird need to tell him that i love him, not like in a romantic way, but as if him and i have been long lost best friends, even though his is gone from this world i have to say "i love you, you did well my friend." I feel the need to look at his pictures and videos, and when i do that, i feel so happy but so sad at the same time, and strangely enough, we were similar in personalities from what i have been finding out about him. Isn't it funny how life works? I knew who he was and what he did for a living but never felt the need to be closer to him or get to know him for that matter, but when i found out what had happen and the reason why it happend, i started crying nonstop pretty much til this day, but i have this weird feeling that i knew this person for years. The first time i saw him i said to myself, haven't i seen you before because you look really familiar? And a big smile appeared on my face, and i continued with my life as usual never thought that the next time i would hear from him would be because of his life ending in such a sad way. I just wanna know why my heart feels so heavy when i never knew this person well enough or was close to him but yet a strange feeling of knowing him for ages always comes to me, but i wasn't there for him. Is it stupid to feel so sad for someone that i didn't really now? I keep grabbing my pillow and hugging it so tight in my arms as if it was him, as if he could feel it, i know that he wont feel it because he is gone but i keep trying to convince myself that somehow he would, so stupid right?

Someone recently passed away and i've been feeling so sad because of this, but the weird part is that, i wasn't close to that person at all, i didn't know anything about him other than his name and what he did for a living, yet my heart feels heavy and somewhat guilty. It almost feels as if i lost someone that was so close to my heart, like we knew each other for a very long time, i have this weird need to tell him that i love him, not like in a romantic way, but as if him and i have been long lost best friends, even though his is gone from this world i have to say "i love you, you did well my friend." I feel the need to look at his pictures and videos, and when i do that, i feel so happy but so sad at the same time, and strangely enough, we were similar in personalities from what i have been finding out about him. Isn't it funny how life works? I knew who he was and what he did for a living but never felt the need to be closer to him or get to know him for that matter, but when i found out what had happen and the reason why it happend, i started crying nonstop pretty much til this day, but i have this weird feeling that i knew this person for years. The first time i saw him i said to myself, haven't i seen you before because you look really familiar? And a big smile appeared on my face, and i continued with my life as usual never thought that the next time i would hear from him would be because of his life ending in such a sad way. I just wanna know why my heart feels so heavy when i never knew this person well enough or was close to him but yet a strange feeling of knowing him for ages always comes to me, but i wasn't there for him. Is it stupid to feel so sad for someone that i didn't really now? I keep grabbing my pillow and hugging it so tight in my arms as if it was him, as if he could feel it, i know that he wont feel it because he is gone but i keep trying to convince myself that somehow he would, so stupid right?
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I know this Is long. Please. Just read and comment with you opinions If youd loke. I may be irrational. But she is theshittiest person I've ever met. You are such a stupid b****. And I hope you go nowhere in life. I wouldn't be surprised at ALL if you don't. You are impulsive. Lazy. Moronic. Annoying with your stupid valley girl speech. You have the most massive bipolar flipouts I've ever seen. And your procrastination is sickening. I can't believe we made it two years as friends. You are a horrible person. 'christian'? Bull f****** s***. I am not Christian but I hate how much of a hypocrite you can be. Why you suck and are a bad person: you are 17. You introduced me to weed. Got me in a bunch of s*** my boyfriend hated.. he hates your guts. You've been to jail for stealing ugly s*** from JcPennys. You get mad at every F****** thing and just ignore me like I'm not even there. What the f*** is that called. You got drunk and let a random guy at a party f*** you on a sink.. then came crying to me.. worried you were pregnant because he didnt use a condom.. you fool around with gross boys. Your definition of having fun is 'lets go party and get drunk' You're needy. SelfCentered. And define everyone as '(insert what you do with them)buddy' for instance... Party buddy Smoke buddy Sleep over buddy F*** buddy Drinking buddy Bus buddy Ugggggh I could go on and on. I HATE THE MOST.. How you think you have the worst problems and you hate your mom. And say you hate your life. And you're so pooor. Awww. You just bought a 40 dollar skirt. I've never spent more than 20 dollars on anything. And your mom buys you s*** all the time. I have to buy ALL of my everything. Then you complain about your job at pacsun.. b****.. you're getting paid to be there. Shut the f*** up. (then there's another job that we both have.. as clowns.. and I'm way better.. she's been working a year longer than me.. and I make double what she makes. Our boss loves me.. and talks s*** behind my friends back.. saying shes forgetful etc.) But.. with her good fortune.. she hasn't been fired.. or anything. Anyways! I hate how you play it off.. everyone thinks you're a goody goody. And.. they say they like you.. and.. you're pretty.. just whatever. It p***** me off. And when someone says I'm pretty.. then you get irritated I can tell. I sort of hope you burn in H***.. or get hit by a car.. but then people will feel sorry for you.. maybe your mom will lose her job and you'll really know what its like to be poor. YOUR MOM ACCUSED ME OF STEALING HER PILLS... that was you. I don't even touch that s***. Ha... and I didn't cause before I hi.g out with you. It sort of became habit. Thank you for listening.

I know this Is long. Please. Just read and comment with you opinions If youd loke. I may be irration...