I confess that for many years, starting just about when I was 3 years old...

I flipped the TV channel and found these two people having uncensored sex. I wanted to stay on the channel, but my brother, younger, changed it because he was not interested. Several years later, when I was in kindergarten to grade 2, I secretly watched porn videos on TV in the early morning and got so close to getting in trouble. There was many years after that, that at the end of elementary, I started looking up porn/hentai, watching porn/hentai, writing porn, and cybering, on the internet. I even got a virus because of that, and I got into huge trouble and vowed never to do it again. I did it again. From that time to a few years later, to today, I've been watching more porn/hentai, cybering, and now, masturbating! I masturbated so frequently, it was like once every day, every week. It couldn't be healthy (I heard it sort of oils your joints, and I don't want my doctor finding this out) so I tried to stop, but no luck. I kept doing it, and eventually I quit a day, but did it again the next day. I might have been doing it today, actually, even though maybe I was trying to conceal it by scratching. I've been doing so many methods to forgive myself and forget about everything that happens and start fresh, which is unhighly possible because I knew it would haunt me. This all started out so innocently, but now it's just a huge negative cloud, and I'm lost in it! I had enough, and I figured that the best way to start fresh without actually wiping my memory or committing suicide was to shout it out loud, but in this case, I'm typing it. I really don't want anyone I know to find this all out, but at least I can talk to strangers, even if anonymously. I have more confessions to make, one of my ex best friends, that I made in grade k, I went over to her house, and she showed me this abandoned bird nest with an egg inside. I could tell it was very precious to her. She was wondering if the mother would ever come back. When she was elsewhere, I got greedy and stole the egg to put into my carrying bag. On the way back into the house, it broke in my hand so I washed it off and sort of lie-confessed to her. I told her the egg accidently fell out of the nest. She knew I was lying. It didn't help either when I called her a biotch in high school. I also confess to greedily ripping off a friend that is my best friend today, and she probably doesn't even know about it. I saw she had a really pretty ring, filled with jewels, and I thought it was real, which it might have been, maybe, but it could have been a really precious gift, or expensive, but I tricked her into trading it to me. In return I gave her this cheap looking gold colored blastic ring, that I said was a real gold ring. My grandmother told me to return it, but I didn't. Instead, even though I was horrible at scheming, I decided to use this ring in my plot against my new arch nemesis at school. It went horribly wrong and my arch nemesis got to keep the ring (now that I think about it, I was probably just jealous of her), and that left me totally akward, and my friend totally clueless. Another confession is that I started looking for magic in wicca and stuff like that because I was interested in that, and made many friends with the same interests of becoming cute girly magicky girls. At my elementary, I met a new friend. We played on many websites together, and on one of them, her much older brother played too. I insulted him or said stupid random things, and all of a sudden, her parents and family hates me, and I'm totally excommunicated. We exchange occasional greetings now and then because we are both best friends with another girl we know. Another confession is that I got so deep into this magic stuff that my belief for the Lord was getting vague and I found myself thinking I could manipulate the elements to save me in situations instead of praying to the Lord. I had to do something about this. I decided to find a loophole in which I could still be faithful to the Lord and find magic, but maybe a more girly fluttery magick that's not harmful or durasticly changing, or if it is durasticly changing, then it would have to be some way that God allows it (because in my religion, manipulating nature and having a specific kind of contact with the spiritual world), but I'm not sure. I am currently still questing for that perfect, allowed magical experience. A confession I have is that I have the bad habbit of swearing a lot, really badly. I want to get all of this out of my system. I want to move on with my life, be forgivin by God, and forgive myself for all these horrible sins I committed, and probably others that I don't remember, and if I do, I'll post them also.

By Anonymous on General,