Confessions about 'Hate'

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i woke up dizzy again and came home after the heart centre dizzy but i don't want a home doctor here cuz the house is so unkept with dust and fleas and i have been so ill over the break i done the bare minimum to keep it basic tidy. i hate living like this because i used to clean the house for my parents all the time. i was a slave to there house cleaning it due to my disorder i even now hate disorder in retail shops or doctors offices and wait rooms and want to tidy everything it annoys me no end. my sister has helped me get over my cleaning obsessions with her ruination mentality but the house is not the way i want it.

i woke up dizzy again and came home after the heart centre dizzy but i don't want a home doctor here...

Abuse, Hate

worried

Abuse, Hate

It's hard for me to trust people now It's hard for me to trust people now. Are there any genuine human beings left? Because I sure as h*** don't feel like there are.

It's hard for me to trust people now It's hard for me to trust people now. Are there any genuine hum...

Pride, Abuse, Hate, Violence

all these people harassing people in shops and commuting is rude.

Hate

the devils own bitch. you are a mongrel evil bitch of a dirty old woman. you are a dangerous and an abusive sick disgusting lesbian violent woman with no morals get out of my life witch. stop abusing me devil whore! to joyce jasminlie poorter !

the devils own bitch. you are a mongrel evil bitch of a dirty old woman. you are a dangerous and an...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I spent so many nights alone with parents and grandparents when my sister or brother were out partying and I used to think can wait for the day when its them crying alone wondering why no one likes them "all those nights I sat at home sitting by the telephone wondering if you were ever coming home. solitare see what its like now, solitare to cry all night now, solitare see how it feels to pay! "

I spent so many nights alone with parents and grandparents when my sister or brother were out partyi...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

this teenager who is all of 14 or 17 around there, her petty child dramas could be easily solved, ignore it!

this teenager who is all of 14 or 17 around there, her petty child dramas could be easily solved, ig...

Hate

Drama Boys and Drama Girls are so boring, everyday its "oh woe is me, you wouldn't believe this." and their family mull in the excitement of the behavior of the bad one, the scapegoat and the mean one and the controller. The quiet one, the fix it one and the good old reliable one are always wanting to walk away from the others dramas.

Drama Boys and Drama Girls are so boring, everyday its "oh woe is me, you wouldn't believe this." a...

Abuse, Hate

i lay in bed all day every day unless i have to go out because everytime i try i get bashed down. i been like this for the last 25 years. women bash for sex. i fear being attacked by women over men, or men attacking me over men or women, i fear being used and don't trust people. i only trust myself.

i lay in bed all day every day unless i have to go out because everytime i try i get bashed down. i ...

Abuse, Hate, Violence

handby is a bastard! the guy is evil. he has wronged me. fuck off and stop abusing me dickhead. and same with ken and joyce, katy rick, bec and sue and my brother and his wife all been picking on me for over 25 or more years. you stop it or else. my doctors and my parents are getting hateful and angery at all of you. my father doesn't have to tolerate his daughter being abused by you. my mother said she didn't bring me into the world to be a nigar or chinks slave to help their cunt action and steal everything from me and I am far from selfish. stop abusing me. I want to know why I have not been allowed a job for years and years. never had a a full time job, never had a proper date and all these stupid old farts getting in my way! old bitches stealing young guys from me and old men trying to wreck my cunt when they should be at home minding their own business with their wives and not out stealing raping virgins. I want a catholic nuns order named after me! I am sick of this. yesterday I was asked to tell something about me no one knows. I am celebate I have been living like a nun and I am not a nun. I have been denied rights of a job and attention from men. I should have had everything I wanted by now. I think everyone is so selfish but me. stop abusing me. you been abusing me now for over 30 years when are you going to be stopped? because I will get someone to harm you. I will call police again. I will go to a lawyer again. stop stalking me. stop abusing me. stop following me everywhere I go spying and trying to ruining everything I do or want to do. stop it or I will get my doctor to call the police and talk to a judge over you all. your a gang of stalkers for the last 30-40 years dating back from 1970s and I am sick of your getting in my face and getting in my way and not learning to fuck off and get out already.

handby is a bastard! the guy is evil. he has wronged me. fuck off and stop abusing me dickhead. and ...

Abuse, Hate

my parents and doctors are angry that I have been left in poverty without any friends or man and I deserve to be treated better. Its not fair and I have asked several times for people to stop bullying and abusing me and I mean it. soon I will get my doctors and a lawyer to write a letter to rsl and churches who have abused me, and make them search down this bunnypoeta and leigh morris, and ken who made threats at me. leigh made threats at me i had to go to that stupid cocktail party that was not even a party at all. no one spoke no one was dancing no one ate but for a few trays of snacks, there was no music and party atmosphere going on up alcohol. you could have seen a better party at our dive house years ago then that party. when you say cocktail party one has expectations of music, entertainment, quality foods and mix of non-alcoholic and so on drinks and music and dancing and people forced to talk to one another all over the place, you expect a certain atmosphere and standard like proper entertainment like a soul or r&b singer and sociability with people and some proper fundraising at the event like raffles and games etc. there games were unreal abnormal. I was so poor I just wore a black dress pants and I knew I would cold so I had to wear a jumper and my doctor didn't want me to go to the party because of the medication and leigh threated me if I didn't go she would push me out of the quest. I didn't want to go. I was too unwell to go, and it was no fun anyway. it was the most boring dull party ever, my cats know how to party more then they do. one of my doctors has made a lot of comments about how bullied me and my sister have been. a handful of my doctors are very angry over it and so are my parents. at least rose has been married twice and had a child. I haven't even been married once and have no child and no career, no graduation I should have been entitled to all that if everyone else is. stop bullying me or you will get it cunthole DB HANDBY! I owe you nothing. infact you owe me. everyone owes me, not me owing them. I am trying to make good of a bad situation but you didn't need to make it worse assshole DB. fuck off cunt. you fuck off bastard. stop abusing me! Joyce threated me, ken threatened me, rick threathened me. I don't have to take you abusing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!my doctors can't fight a case in law against you all you know, on my behave. any of my doctors or family or friends or co-workers, or therapists can fight you in a court on my behalf for the last 20 years or more of abuse. so stop abusing me.

my parents and doctors are angry that I have been left in poverty without any friends or man and I d...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

stop bullying me !

Abuse, Hate, Violence

I'm lonely and afraid My business is tanking because of this damn recession. I'm tired of working like a dog and seeing no headway. I hate my life.

I'm lonely and afraid My business is tanking because of this damn recession. I'm tired of working li...

Hate

its a good thing I love my cats they cost us over $2,500 in the last few weeks and I need a holiday or a wage or something. I wish they could pay for their keep. all I do is apply for stupid jobs and never get a look in the door and I am sick of it. even when I had cancer I applied for jobs. even on disability I applied for jobs living in hope life could get better. I think its a sure guarentee that I won't marry or have kids or work full time or graduate from university - university was a complete waste of time and engery. I had to do something its not like I had hot guys after me. no one ever put in a huge effort to show any heart or ask me out like they ment it. I am sick of being abused. people wonder why i am celibate most of my life, but I was a virgin til 29 and had no job that I wanted to have. I didn't have privilege. no one ever saw value or competency in me but sandy when I was young. no one asked me what subjects at school i was good at and aim for work in that. I was told to just get any job the lowest possible casual part time hotel room cleaner apart from selling programs at sporting events and pocket money jobs, that is all its ever been pocket money jobs. at least i did save some while doing hotel work but it was hard on my back, near bloody killed me doing that work from 6am til 3 or 4 pm some days. I was lucky if I got home after 4 even if i finished at 2pm cuz of trains, university I had to travel 2 hours there and 2 hours home every freaking day. what for? to be treated like this? I never asked for this sort of life. no one said to me "if your good at bookkeeping go do that or go try something in retail etc" it was like joyce was like, "do the lowest level work cuz that is all you are and can hope for cuz you are shit" that was the message i picked up from her all the time. you can't have a police man or a male model or a doctor or anything I have. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwViQxSJJQ joyce was standing in my front yard laughing putting me down, telling me how I am such a fool, I would never have a man like her. every woman did that to me but a few. joyce must know about me, what I do. since I am not your everything as a client and client loyalty, replacing you has been easier then I ever imagined.

its a good thing I love my cats they cost us over $2,500 in the last few weeks and I need a holiday ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

cat pissing all over the bed. expected to live like black fellas. no vet would put up with this so why should I?

cat pissing all over the bed. expected to live like black fellas. no vet would put up with this so w...

Abuse, Hate

expected to live like black fella with fleas in the bed, I bet the vet wouldn't put up with it.

Abuse, Hate

throat

Hate

look at me ? who would want to go out with me at 46 with no children never been married and so fat and ugly? right. all my ear and health problems and you know what hurt me the most I couldn't even get to thank the nicer ambulance officers that took me to hospital in tears struggling to walk and it felt like I had a helment on my head from the histimines how the effected the membrane around the brain and all the sudifed, I can't believe GP's or doctor in australia would put me in hospital I begged them to but they wouldn't. I got sick of trying to medicate and monitor medications myself and too much sudifed is dangerous and anti-inflammatory. all I wanted was for someone to hold me so I could just cry. they had heart monitors on me every time I went to hospital. now I know why! one day I will tell someone the whole story and they will see how evil and unfair it is and how none of it made sense to a reasonable person. its taught me to never really trust anyone ever again. if joyce and rick and katy and ken wasn't enough abuse and lessons, doctors abusing me has and these neighbors abusing me. butting in on my childhood and illnesses and assaults I have suffered. when you hear the full story it will shock the hell out of anyone.

look at me ? who would want to go out with me at 46 with no children never been married and so fat a...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

no one here to rely on for help, I have to do it all. when you need to do a few urgent things in 1 day others here at this house are hopeless to step in and say "oh look mom your business I will take the pet to the vet for you while you go to the doctor or I will go post the letter for you, you go do the shopping" they can't even make a meal for themselves

no one here to rely on for help, I have to do it all. when you need to do a few urgent things in 1 d...

Abuse, Hate

look at them loving themselves and you think.. I know where you are at, that was the loneliness isolated time of my life and no one liked me for my good looks, so how do you think they really are. faking it too! the church told me (we turn to outward ungodly things and sex and lust and looks and body image and sex and money when we are indebt to god in ourselves indebt and redundant and escaping gods truths). and you know you don't want to fall down that hole again! been there and done that and everyone ends up a sucker there. wiser people back off. only maturity and experience can teach you when to say "enough already who gives a dam!"

look at them loving themselves and you think.. I know where you are at, that was the loneliness isol...

Pride, Abuse, Hate