I having sex with lots of boys befor the wedding, I

i am a learner bitch! i have more reasons to be a bitch then the bitches who have bashed and abused me, i should be a bitch to everyone, you know some male cunts are bigger bitches then i could ever be. like my old fart psychiatrist pissed me off last time because that old cunt gets paid billions and passively listens a few hundred an hour and has the cunt hide to say to me "that is crying over spilt milk" as if the old fart expects me to see life like a stupid old fart, he can't understand why i would want kids, that is why i want to get rid of the useless fucker! as i don't believe he is telling me the truth about my health and never helps or 5 years i have seen him and its going nowhere, its like i have just been held back for 5 years when I wanted to be married with kids and this stupid old fart can't see why i would be upset. i felt like bashing the cunt over the head. someone should bash him up. i wish i had of got ron to go around bashing people who abused me. i really should have.

i am a learner bitch! i have more reasons to be a bitch then the bitches who have bashed and abused ...

I need to tell someone... I need to tell someone my secret but please no harsh comments...I thought about suicide a lot. I even attempted 5 times nobody knew but my sister & my bf. Ive been through so much im surprise im still alive. My past would make you cry. Im not even kidding. should i start from the very beginning? When i was 4-5 i have been molested by a relative i will not name because no one would believe me. if i were to tell him i would yell and cry. like why would you touch me and my sister? we were only 4-5 years old? i wish you would burn in h*** because you were so close to the family. I hate your gutts everytime i see you im disgusted you could just walk around like nothing happened. You thought i was sleeping but i was awake the whole time it would happen every night you would come into the living room and touch us you sick b******! i wish i could kill you and be acceptable because of what you did to us. I felt so messed up in the head ever since birth i feel like. when i was 7 me and my cousin would touch each other we were both stupid. i know its disgusting when i think about it now im disgusted with myself. when i 8-12 i was abused by my dad for many stupid reasons. Me, my brother and sister. Well i was a problem child i didnt care about school or home. i stopped caring about anything my dad was never satisfied so i give him the satisfaction to beat me. yes it hurt but i knew it was never gonna stop. he would beat my till i had bruises. thats when i started to harm myself believe that when i was in fourth grade. when my family didnt notice i started wearing long sleeves to hide my scars. i stopped because why harm myself cuz of my hatred towards my dad. then i also was diagnosed with ADHD great what else could happen to my sick worthless self. I went to the clinic for a mental diagnosis secretly with no one with me i was diagnosed with bi polar disorder, depression, anxiety, plus the ADHD i didnt want those on my record forever so i denied the prescription to help me get better. what else could go possibly wrong. im not done yet. when i started to drink i got drunk and my closest uncle took advantage of me i said no but he kept talling me ill make you feel good. i wanted to cry because i couldnt push him off me he then said you cant deny me then he took off my shorts and underwear and he well you get the picture he said you wont remember but i do i remember everything i hate myself why did i get drunk that night why did i let him take advantage of me like that it haunts me. I wish i was dead but i already wished i was dead my fourth grade year i attempted 5 times. i didnt want to leave my family i knew would hurt most. My big sister i know she would be heart broken. i would hurt my boyfriend also. My sibling would be hurt too. my family would be too. i sometimes wish i was not so attached to my family then it wouldnt be a problem. if i died i would leave them in h***. they would hate me for killing myself but then one of these day i know i could just snap and bang im gone.

I need to tell someone... I need to tell someone my secret but please no harsh comments...I thought...

Joe's mom I have never told anyone about this but i ran into Joes sister the other day and it reminded me. 10 years ago when i was 17 my friend Joe and i snuck out, went to a party and snuck back in undetected by his mom and sister who had no idea i was staying over. Joe snored like a freight train which was what woke me up that morning. Everyone had always bugged Joe about his mom who at the time was smokin hot with long dark hair, Great legs, An amazing ass, Beautiful hips and big b**** and i believe she was 35 at the time if i remember right but looked younger and had Joe and his sister both when she was young, Joe's dad had passed away from a sudden stroke 2 years earlier and although she got a big insurance payout due to accidental death she kept her job and although they had a pretty fancy house they never did live beyond their means. She was absolutely the M.I.L.F. in the group and Joe got it from every angle and it was relentless about banging his mom and sister which no one did because it was his mom and his sister was too young, His sister was 14 and looked like a teen version of her mom with b**** that were way too big for her body which made her look kind of awkward but when the rest of her body caught up with her b**** and she did filled out...WOW. Anyway...I woke up and laid there listening to what sounded like a chorus of a mixture of bugles and freight trains coming from Joe and laid there until i heard his moms alarm go off, Joe and his sister were old enough to be home alone and his mom sometimes worked Saturday mornings but was home by noon usually. I saw her light across the hall come on then heard the shower start and as i laid there on the floor i looked at her door which was only open about a foot but i saw her walk past headed to her ensuite. I knew Joe was out and had no worries about him and his sister slept in the basement hiding from everyone even though she had a room right next to Joes. I slipped out of Joes room and stood in the hallway and could see into her bathroom, I just caught a glimpse of her stepping into the shower but couldn't see the shower from where i was so i stepped into her room. My heart was racing and i think i was actually sweating i was so excited as i snuck up to her bathroom door which she had left open and as i leaned past the doorway i could see the shower perfectly in the reflection of the huge wall mirror over the sinks and counter, She had clear glass shower doors and i could see her entire body and it was sooooo much more amazing than i had even imagined. I was 17 so i already had wood probably for no reason but i think it was probably harder than i have ever seen it before or since, I stood there and stared at her as i watched her soap up her whole body, Her amazing, Beautiful body and then watched as she shaved her arm pits and then perfected her wide racing stripe of dark pubic hair, Even now the thought of her which i can picture perfectly is still the standard i judge girls against and have never seen one who matches up. She was so sexy as she washed her hair i couldn't help it and whipped out my junk and within probably a minute frantically looked around grabbing a towel out of the hamper, I laid it on her dresser and stood there stroking it for probably another minute or so before almost blowing my load and just then she turned the shower off, I spun around and Joes sister was standing in the doorway watching me and as i made eye contact with her she gave me a look of disgust and whispered EEWWW and quickly walked away. I snuck back to Joes room and laid on the floor realizing i had left her door open more than it was but just as i realized that she stepped out of the bathroom with just her towel wrapped around her then took it off and i could see her whole body again as she leaned over and wrapped it around her hair. She opened her dresser and and pulled out some panties and left them on her dresser going into the bathroom returning with a bra, She walked around getting ready and as Joe slept about six feet from me i jerked off under my blankets. I jerked two loads in about ten minutes as i spied on her putting on lotion and getting dressed, She left for work and i never seen his sister before i left but she never brought it up in the 10 years since so neither did I.

Joe's mom I have never told anyone about this but i ran into Joes sister the other day and it remind...