I am depressed :-(

I spent a lot of time feeling guilt about being a surviver of child sexual abuse who had gained a lot at university and that was like a painful depression started breaking me down as if I had no right to be successful or loved as a victim or survivor of illness or child sexual trauma so I felt I had to punish myself and I met all the wrong people who messed me up just because of this guilt that my life should be worse like all the drug addicts and smokers and alcoholics and so on, just because I had none of those addiction issues as if I was apologising for some how having a survival mechanism in me of how I personally coped with the abuse, my illnesses and then my studying began to suffer I would get way out vomitting episodes to the point now I hate vomiting I will do anything not to vomit. and the fear I had come over me with iv in me and the things this patient was saying I could hear what he was saying was upsetting me. I have had my ups and downs and I am sick of people bullying me. believe me i have bloody well had my downs way too many of them.

I spent a lot of time feeling guilt about being a surviver of child sexual abuse who had gained a lo...

i was a rare time for me to go out nightclubbing about all of less then a dozen times in all my 44 years of life I have been in a nightclub less then a dozen times because I don't like drinking much, I don't like smoking and when I do go out at night I prefer to go to nice places and get a good night sleep, i often go through emotional upset when I am bashed and i lose the guy because the bitch with the power get them and i hurts but sometimes i go study or i just turn off emotions and just its easier to just say "well some of us are just not ment to be loved, but i have justice on my side?" or i left a job due to sexual harasment after being so fat and losing weight and i just didn't need someone destroying what little confidence i had about myself or body. and those people know they killed me, they just like being that way. and i have to learn to avoid them and if that means avoid men too so i do. i would rather have my pride and i always need to be right more then i need to be loved! - i mean the dream police and brehon judges in me, i can't change who i am .

i was a rare time for me to go out nightclubbing about all of less then a dozen times in all my 44 y...

I am not going to any melborne day cup events tomorrow I was very hurt by last year when my friends just dumbed me in another room with no friends to talk to so we talked to the head event manager instead.

I am not going to any melborne day cup events tomorrow I was very hurt by last year when my friends ...