I am depressed :-(

Am I vain/snooty/j***? U've heard the saying the people u surround urself with define who you are. Let's start in high school. I went to a s***** high school full of dropouts, soon to be dead beats, future baby mamas, and those who just don't have a future. I truely hated high school and being surrounded by these ppl and couldn't wait to leave. I got picked on because I wasn't trying to act ghetto or "gangsta" and rarely interacted with those animals. I tried to surround myself and only associate with the achievers and those who had college in their mind but still. I hated high school. My younger brother on the other hand, made friends with everyone he could even though we went to the same s***** high school. Out of the bunch of friends he had only about 3-4 ever made it to college. I went to a second rate college that was boarder line community college (no offense) full of ghetto folks but since i didn't plan on staying long I didn't even bother making only but a handful of friends. My brother went to a community college with almost the same crowd but made friends with everyone he could and enjoyed it. He didn't graduate and joined the military. I trasfered to a good university had the time of my life. But in hind sight i wonder which one of us was right for doing what we did..we were both put in a s***** situation. He pretty much made the best of it while I pushed through it with my head down. Like i said earlier i always believed who you surrounded urself with defined you. So was i narrow-minded for not being open to making friends with just anyone??

Am I vain/snooty/j***? U've heard the saying the people u surround urself with define who you are. ...

macfluff fuck off , i only talk to the feds and interpol and your a terrorist dr mac fluff ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_C5qkj59mo

macfluff fuck off , i only talk to the feds and interpol and your a terrorist dr mac fluff ! https:/...

How would m life have been different When I was a teenager I had a guy friend who was my best friend ever. He cared about me, and often went to parties with me to make sure I didn't get in trouble. He always let me know that he was interested in me as more then a friend, but my parents were going through a divorce, and I didn't trust love. I felt like if I dated him, that someday we would hate each other, and I would loose his friendship. He remained my friend for many many years. At one point he had a " talk" with me about my smoking and partying, because someday I would have someone in my life who loved me, and wouldn't want to worry about me dieing due to my lifestyle. He continued going to parties with me, to watch out or me, where after a few years, he ended up getting into the drug scene himself. I have since grown up, where he continued, and I feel guilty about it every day. That is point one. Point two is there was one crucial moment before his doing drugs where I was drunk and High and felt I needed some air. He went out with me, and I snuggled into him ( something I did often because I was so comfortable with him). We had some intense conversation about something or another, and he pulled me up and made me face him, and told me to kiss him. Our faces were just inches apart, and we looked each other in the eyes for what seemed like forever, till I finally told him I couldn't, because I was afraid of loosing him as a friend. That moment in between I was in turmoil struggling over wether to kiss him or not. I loved him....I truly did, with all my heart, and something deep inside me wanted to kiss him and be with him forever...but at the time I didn't believe in happily ever after. After that moment, he faded out of my life. I think he felt hurt, and felt like I would torture him forever. I wonder all the time what would have happened if I had just kissed him back, and regret that I didn't. A if your ever scared of crossing hat line because you don't want to loose a friend...keep in mind that our more likely to keep him if you so cross over hat line...especially if he's your best friend. Everyone claims their husbands are their best friend. Now I am 40 years old, and even though I have had many relationships, I have never been married, cause I have never since never met that man who is my " best friend"

How would m life have been different When I was a teenager I had a guy friend who was my best frien...