yeh well I reckon russel was going around saying i was gay and told some other guys to stay away from me so he could have me all alone and I think ken might have done this and a few other guys, so this is why I was not getting to meet new guys openly because I always wondered why a lot of guys my own age were not more interested in me. if these assholes only knew the trouble they cause in someones life stealing the love they could have had with someone better. like lacky lee of 12 was not my ideal. and the idiot who has called me a rough diamond to be honest, at first I was offended because I was never called that by teachers and other people who knew me well infact I was told the opposite that I was very well spoken and wrote very good assignments and had a great use of the english language and articulate and teachers would tell me I was very eloquent in responses to exam assignments in such short time to deviler good arguments etc so anyway then I figured after hearing a guy talking I though ok if I am a rough diamond you want to know what I think of most of boofoon losers I have met skank class to be honest. my parents always taught me too much to be polite to rude and stupid people and tolerate them but that has no helped me much. the test of good manners is to tolerate bad my parents always used to say to me. or if you can't say something nice say nothing at all and I life by this more then not. but now I just think a rough diamond is before its prime and lusture and shine, at least if I am a rough diamond (which I don't think I am) to me a rough diamond is brash and like richard branson or trump etc, or worse, but I guess rough diamonds are in vogue in a way because we get to polish ourselves up. people are forgiving to mistakes of certain people but not others? which is strange. I don't feel like a rough diamond at all really. I am just a cranky grumpy old bitch who has been hurt, and I just tell people now when they have hurt me like somewhere forgot during all the sarina russo reprogramming depersonalization program of isolation and destruction of self worth that I even had a right to have feelings. wow what a new concept!

yeh well I reckon russel was going around saying i was gay and told some other guys to stay away from me so he could have me all alone and I think ken might have done this and a few other guys, so this is why I was not getting to meet new guys openly because I always wondered why a lot of guys my own age were not more interested in me. if these assholes only knew the trouble they cause in someones life stealing the love they could have had with someone better. like lacky lee of 12 was not my ideal. and the idiot who has called me a rough diamond to be honest, at first I was offended because I was never called that by teachers and other people who knew me well infact I was told the opposite that I was very well spoken and wrote very good assignments and had a great use of the english language and articulate and teachers would tell me I was very eloquent in responses to exam assignments in such short time to deviler good arguments etc so anyway then I figured after hearing a guy talking I though ok if I am a rough diamond you want to know what I think of most of boofoon losers I have met skank class to be honest. my parents always taught me too much to be polite to rude and stupid people and tolerate them but that has no helped me much. the test of good manners is to tolerate bad my parents always used to say to me. or if you can't say something nice say nothing at all and I life by this more then not. but now I just think a rough diamond is before its prime and lusture and shine, at least if I am a rough diamond (which I don't think I am) to me a rough diamond is brash and like richard branson or trump etc, or worse, but I guess rough diamonds are in vogue in a way because we get to polish ourselves up. people are forgiving to mistakes of certain people but not others? which is strange. I don't feel like a rough diamond at all really. I am just a cranky grumpy old bitch who has been hurt, and I just tell people now when they have hurt me like somewhere forgot during all the sarina russo reprogramming depersonalization program of isolation and destruction of self worth that I even had a right to have feelings. wow what a new concept!
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mum is losing it up stairs. I have noticed it for a while now just like my dad who has a alcohol picked brain - mostly from the anger of his business failing and people never giving him jobs and all the jobs he applied for he has in dozens of folders and no one would give him a job, you can't even see his bedroom floor for his hoarding addiction and he needs to clean the recyclable rubbish bin fanaticly and all the recyclable things like a complete tard! every bit of rubbish is kept under his wing he holds his rubbish like a child with a safety blanket. I am worried my mum is going senile, I know my father is but mum is a useless heap of dung. I have always listened to her but she never listened and acted to help me. all she does is fall asleep selfishly like the world is her oyster with her little family tucked in her bed with her and she doesn't think about my needs as a woman or adult and no one has considered my needs they are so selfish. our neighbors little whore daughters and whore wives have been expecting me to live like a pig masturbating objects and sitting in my own piss on the floor for hours and without a husband or children while they have stolen them just because a selfish old grandfather won a lotto all of less then half a million dad was denied a job, I was denied jobs and husband and a house of my own. I seen all of $2,000 I payed for a retail pharmacy course that was never going to get me a job anyway. as if anything could? as if any man would get off his lazy ass to date me other then a retarted loser like a dishonorable discharged yobo bozo clown like russel who called himself a grunt and everything was "ahhh mate how far did you go from losing it completely today mate with your depression and anxiety and pstd?" 10 years of that was torture you were my depression I never wanted your friendship or to have anything to do with you at all. even david had more class then ken or rusell or rick. I wanted a nice professional office guy. everywhere I went men ignored me and I know its been a satanic occult doing this to me via relatives and churches that sicken me. you have all made me a ill person for years even before the car accident when I was 19. you all worked so hard to ruin my life.

mum is losing it up stairs. I have noticed it for a while now just like my dad who has a alcohol pic...