I HAVE BEEN STILL WAITING FOR THE DOCTOR TO DROP HIS LOVE ON ME AND STILL CAN'T SEE HIM!

I have been trying to eat healty and less, as I have gone off too much pork and last few days I have been making Indian curry salad dishes for lunch but I really like Moroccan dishes as well, I just wish the curry tuna would not come in oil as I don't really like the idea of the oils, but the salads were nice the other one was a curry beans with lettuce and cabbage and cider vinegar and greek yogurt and that was so nice. I love putting a bit of caynne paper on my potatos and sweet potato it goes well, I am just so sick of being fat. I think I over did the water yesterday as I had about 4 or 5 x 750ml and felt so boated this morning. I sometimes mix cider vinegar and lime juice in it or a raspberry ketones which does stop hunger pains. what annoys me is the cost of quality fresh vegetables and fruits now. I just had kale and carrot and onion for dinner and lunch was just a slice of raisin toast and cup of tea. we had to go out and I wanted to put some things on order and I am so excited because I bought some new chocolate and cake trays - one is a cute one for children and the other is almost like round and others are flowers. then I try to think up low-fat alternative cake mixes with other meals then flour. I have strawberry and shoe and fairy , diamonds and panda bear shape chocolate molds I have not even used yet, I wanted to make a salmon dish but then seen all the fat in it and thought maybe just have the salmon without all the hassles and less fat. we got a capcino maker we opened at xmas for everyone to use, and I got out my foot massager on new years and I had that for over 6 months and I have not even used my mix master yet its been in the box for over 14 months. I want to use it but the kitchen is so small. I really want to put in a rustic french country peasant look kitchen with a few contemporary decor and I guess money is just holding me back I wish I had a part time job. I send out resumes and only occasionally hear back which feels painful when I want to work. I want to complete my degree as well. but when we do things - creative or therapy crafts or other things - we allow our sub conscious to go to work and help solve our problems at a different level so I am quietly living in hope the local group and counsel will consider my idea. I did a garden design course and would like to be involved in a project of some kind. I feel good when I get out and do things, keep physically moving. I hate the heat but I figure the sweat lets out toxins but I can't wait for winter.

I have been trying to eat healty and less, as I have gone off too much pork and last few days I hav...

one therapist who is a doctor told me to see joyce and ken and the people in the churches or other places as pathetic children and pity them. even cousins relatives and rsl and schools or rick and katy or royal people who abused me - see them as pathetic children and see it as bully-pity! because just because they jobs or marriages or like sarina russo they should bully-pitied and it doesn't mean they are happy or good people if they feel the need to bully disability single women who are vulnerable.

one therapist who is a doctor told me to see joyce and ken and the people in the churches or other p...

I can't believe how out of date everything I have is, I want to look like young women around my age or younger who are working in more stylier designs and clothing. if I am going to do this fashion diploma I sure need to feel and look the part. sorry but I do have some pride.

I can't believe how out of date everything I have is, I want to look like young women around my age ...