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i feel so worried i have done the wrong thing all the time. i am always regreting most things i do. i signed up to do some short courses but they are not easy. already i feel broken down and financially busted. i hate the admin course already and how its set up and don't understand it. i have a thing against some courses and i just hope it will be easier then it looks. i like some challenge but not that much challenge that is it impossible to win. oh, and i wondered if they would misunderstand and start up their biker games again. please go away. i am just consern with survival. my body just worries about surviving. my mind just worries about surviving, my heart only worries about surviving. i am not interested in love at all. i am not interested in beauty and marriage. i have no survival to worry about for the rest of my life. so just please go away. no one wants you here. after a near death experience I just don't care about relationships ever again. as much as i want love my family is what matters to me. just survival is all i can't put my mind and body to. don't expect much else out of me. all i want to do now is party and have cruise ship holidays and change my world around. yeh i study but i will never be a someone or anyone. i was put in the tard corner young. i can't make employers want to give me a job or a nice guy to like me. i have given up on that since i turned 25- 34 i was pushed on the scrap heap everywhere more so since turning 40 and i just want to party hard without alcohol or drugs or sex or worry of kids unless i find the right person. i sometimes think about adopting children but i don't have money and like i say "who would want me now?" it doesn't even matter anymore. i gave up all my goals and dreams because others gave up on me too soon, and they didn't return the goodness and well wishes i gave to so many. all i got was shit and insults and bullying and deadwishes on me since a child. i don't forgive so easily over all this.

i feel so worried i have done the wrong thing all the time. i am always regreting most things i do. ...

I wouldn't make a good mother, lets face it I am too sensible and reliable and modest.

I wouldn't make a good mother, lets face it I am too sensible and reliable and modest.

Believe Cher No matter how hard I try You keep pushing me aside And I can't break through There's no talking to you It's so sad that you're leaving It takes time to believe it But after all is said and done You're gonna be the lonely one Do you believe in life after love I can feel something inside me say I really don't think you're strong enough Do you believe in life after love I can feel something inside me say I really don't think you're strong enough What am I supposed to do Sit around and wait for you Well I can't do that And there's no turning back I need time to move on I need a love to feel strong Cause I've got time to think it through And maybe I'm too good for you Do you believe in life after love I can feel something inside me say I really… Full lyrics on Google Play Music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuZZqGRrSzI

Believe Cher No matter how hard I try You keep pushing me aside And I can't break through There's no...