I had sex with my wife before I married her, and

I had sex with my wife before I married her, and I beat up the woman I was having an affair with and her dog out of anger. Afterwards I went back to my spot on the curb behind the 7-11, drunk, playing country music hoping for change. I started taking the Lord's name in vain against this man who didn't give me change, and I beat up his kid. He didn't do anything, and was worried his wife might find out, who was still in the car. I said I wouldn't tell if he paid me. And he did. So when his wife came out, she was stunning and I wanted her. Instead, I stole from her. Surprisingly, she had cocaine on her. I started selling it once she was gone, but one guy didn't pay so I chased after him and killed him. I had no intention of forgiving him. My wife found me doing this and promptly divorced me. So out of envy (I still wanted her for my own), I pantsed her in front of everyone! That turned me on somehow. Pants around the ankles. I bought a lot of stuff online using fake credit card numbers, then went to the gay bar and had quite the time. I realized I hated everyone in Uganda and I wanted their food, so I killed every last one of them. After that I hacked into an ATM with illegal software and got a lot of money. I went to my sister's home, and noticed she was in the shower. So I walked right in and had sex with her, forcefully. I lied and said I was still married to make it feel more exciting. Needless to say, she was very uncomfortable, but I loved her. At that point I started to lose faith in God and still felt horny, so I jacked off. However, I looked in my neighbor's yard and saw a little girl. So I went over and had sex with her, after peeing on their lawn. Then my hoes (you know, hookers) saw some gays and even though I had a little stint I hated them all and thought they were all horrible people who couldn't talk normally. I asked God, "what kind of cruel God would allow such horrible people in our world?" So I ran over a squirrel and proudly displayed it to everyone as my new God. I spilled a drink, but I was too lazy to clean it up. I flipped on "Jeopardy!" but I couldn't get any answers right because I was too stupid, so in the name of Satan I began trashing the house. I found some TOP SECRET documents by chance while doing so, and in spite I turned it over to the French.
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I want a divorce It has reached the point that I need to divorce my wife. She is an alcoholic and it has ruined our lives, she has given up on wanting children and as her drinking has gotten worse I have come to realize that (even though she promised she would stop drinking if we had a kid) she will not be a good mother to any children we have. We have been fighting for the past several months. We have talked divorce over and over. And I have recently decided it is time to throw in the towel. Now I am not sure of my next steps. I have set no money aside for a lawyer or even filing fees. We are broke, like down to a pack of hot dogs and bread for the next few weeks as our debt has become insane. The last time that I even suggested that I agreed with her that we should divorce, she just attacked me over and over verbally, coming up with anything she could come up with to tear me down. She has physically abused me a few times. Not that I couldn't defend myself, but I'm not going to hit a woman and when it reaches that point, I just don't care anymore. It helps for closure the more she does it. I know that if I try to get a divorce and we are still living together, I will live in misery. We have no friends because she attacks anyone who comes close. I have slept in my truck many nights to get away. Money has gotten so bad that we are downsizing to a smaller house, but our main house has not yet rented so we have two mortgages. We cannot move into the smaller house for another month. At that point, at least there is an exit. I plan on going to Iraq to get a job to help pay for IRS bills since I had to cash out my retirement to help keep us afloat, which comes with heavy penalties. I will make decent money in Iraq but when we spoke about divorce before she has talked about dragging the divorce out for a year so that she could benefit from the money I make out there. If I had enough for a lawyer and a place to go, I would be out today. We are in a slow period of being cordial but those days have been getting shorter and fewer. The next time she hits the bottle it will not be pretty.

I want a divorce It has reached the point that I need to divorce my wife. She is an alcoholic and it...

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