beaching madness again, piss up as much as you always do then.

people at support group don't understand why I don't want to go night clubbing right now. I am tired, sore and in pain and worry. I like going to bed at 6pm and reading or having one of my cats cuddled up with me. I prefer more cultural stylish entertainment, I don't watch tv and doing courses is entertainment to me. i exercise and try to eat carefully. I like to enjoy a restful holiday over rowdy noise. I don't understand why people don't get it we all change with age. I am now 46 still childless and no husband or boyfriend and given up, I rarely look in the mirror or only to see if i am working the weights at exercise right. I don't care about looks anymore, just feeling fit. I like massages and facials and relax time over nightclubbing I gave up that short stunt of fun in 2003 when I didnt get what I wanted I stopped giving people what they wanted and just turned cold on everyone. I have to go to support group to learn how to be human and out of the nazi death camp zone.

people at support group don't understand why I don't want to go night clubbing right now. I am tired...

I can't get excited about doing this silly design degree no matter how much I try, I am too practical. I spoke to a priest about ideas and he has more of a idea of what I am interested in than that frivolous rubbish of design. I take my mum to church and the ballet and high teas and massages and gym for something to do, we raise money and help out a few charity groups and i need more help then I can give right now. I am so tired and stiff in the back from the rain on my slipped discs and neck aching and all I could do was get home from the wet rain to have some old brandy dark fruit christmas pudding and custard cuz I don't care what people think of me anymore. I rarely wear make up and hit my eye today putting on silly eye liner and those things are just all filled with poison that gets into the skin. I go to boring church or support group meetings and I am a dull person. I don't even drink soft drink or cordial or even juice much - just water or teas, I have a wide variety of teas as does my dad and we all like them, we have a capincino machine we opened at xmas and all these coffee no one uses. I am worried about my persian cat she could have urinary tract infection and my black/chocolate cat is clearly an allergy cat which is stressing me.

I can't get excited about doing this silly design degree no matter how much I try, I am too practica...

you will find rose and dad are worse then me and mum we are the family of the "no fun police" no one has fun here! the most excitement we had was a few years ago midnight mass and one new years eve was looking at the psychic channel and no alcohol we were so bored senseless and a bunch of more the debbie downers here, rose beats all the debbie downers out. dad is in bed by 7pm and read a lot do exercise equipment and the place is a mess. how could it be otherwise with no help. I have to do it all and go to support group to learn how to be human again.

you will find rose and dad are worse then me and mum we are the family of the "no fun police" no one...