love hate relationship with catholic church due to my parents as much as the church but I feel hurt they didn't do anything, they should have been able to pick up something was wrong with sexual abuse in us kids and so many kids have missed out on love and life. oh yeh a priest asked me "do you love your catholic faith" I said "yes father" and I do I am glad to be a catholic but I feel hurt by the segrigation all during our childhood with only girl school and seperate boy school and I feel like "you really have a hide expecting more out of me, then I can give, that I need a relationship and child and you expect me to give all that up over to god and I can't and don't want. and if god was talking I was out then cuz I am not listening" everything doesn't fall in place just by handing over all your life to god or jesus and being a nun or half nun. sorry but I never had more of an ambition I was asked to consider it as a vocation like all the girls were and I did, and I wanted something else, I can't give the church more then it can give to me" I don't feel like I have been given a lot but was grateful for my education and my faith, but I can't be this all holy person. I have needs and feelings and I am sick of everyone expecting me to give over everything for nothing.