i killed a cat and filmed the whole thing, and then

we can't afford this cruise I just can't see it happening. we never go anywhere and to be honest. I really want to go with a boyfriend/husband not with my parents. I know it sounds selfish but I just am sick of people expecting me to pay for their house to be fixed, their furniture, their this their that. what about what I want!... that is what this nurse said to me... she said you are a great person for all you been through you have to be selfish now. my doctor said you have probably left it too late to have kids, my heart tells me that too with its pulpitations, and the more time goes on the lack of a marriage and baby has made the anxiety and pulpitations worse. I never wanted to be in this situation. I wanted a career and husband ages ago. its only joyce and sarina russo who have been plotting against me and my neighbors - if they would stop plotting against me I would have had more out of life. they know what they did! they have to live with what they did to me!

we can't afford this cruise I just can't see it happening. we never go anywhere and to be honest. I ...

ever since the stitches in the vagainal area its been painful on and off, with sharp pains at times. byopsies concern me and results as always seem weird, I guess I have to go back soon and then it will be internal tests and blood in the urine issues I just worry ever since the gp said he was worried about a tumor in the bladder and I am worried about tumors everywhere, from head to foot. I wish I knew why I can't seem to find a normal man. I have wondered should I go overseas to find one , why do they act like bozo clowns rather then a real man!

ever since the stitches in the vagainal area its been painful on and off, with sharp pains at times....

I hate leaving my cats - they are all I really have. no one else really loves or cares and I guess that is how it will always be, it will never change. my life never changes for the better, I am too old now to believe it could. its all too late now. everything always comes too late to me and its thrown at me thanklessly as well, which is insulting. and usually its rubbish and not quality compared to everyone elses life.

I hate leaving my cats - they are all I really have. no one else really loves or cares and I guess t...