Possibly the worst thing I've ever done

Anyone seen the movie “Flatliners”? As a kid, we teased a girl who later suicided. When I was 12-14, (seventh-eigth grade) there was a girl in our class who was generally unpopular. She was a bit shy and basically quite unattractive. I was also having social problems at the time, and our school was very cliquey - you were either “in” or “out”. I was on the borderline at that point. Anyway, at some point, probably in eigth grade, I made up the nickname “Frieda” for this girl. It was based on the Aussie movie “Puberty Blues” where there is a character called “Frieda the Moll” who is generally disliked but has sex with all the guys. I was being a smart-arse and trying to get myself ahead by treading on those weaker than me, which I know is despicable (there may have been an element of that even in the nickname - when you watch the movie, you feel a lot of sympathy for Frieda and despise those who mock her). Anyway, the most popular girl in the class picked up on the name and encouraged others to tease her with it. I didn’t do much of the teasing, but I certainly was reponsible in having coined the name. At the end of eighth grade the girl left our school. Her brother was in the year below us at our school, and I guess I heard of her now and again. It doesn’t seem she fared that much better socially at her new school. A couple of years later (at the end of tenth grade), we heard that she had jumped off a cliff. Most of us were overseas on a school trip, so we only got the details later when we came back. There were rumours that her Dad always gave her a hard time, calling her ugly and useless and perhaps physically abusing her. I have no way of knowing if that is in the least bit true. Because I was o/s, I missed the funeral etc. and I have always felt that I have at the very least some contributary responsibility to her death. I don’t actually expect forgiveness, as those I need to ask it from are her and her family, and because death is so final, forgiveness is not really an option. I guess I will just always feel terrible about this, and so I should.
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This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

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can you see now why I avoid having these esoteric deep religious conversations when some dumb bitch comes up to me while I was minding my own busieness about if I think i will go to heaven and then had the audacity to tell me that god punishes even a white lie as the same as evil crimes and for hate to be as equal to murderers? like really? so if I don't go to heaven and if this loser god loves his murderers and arsonists and what ever over me who might tell the odd white lie as to not hurt someones feelings because its socially not graceous to do so, well that god can go fuck himself. god won't want to complain to me about loving murderers and arsonists and prostitutes over humble bumble old miserable stupid fair mindedly honest, and strongly ethical human me! who can't forgive the people who harmed me knowlyingly harmed me having capacity to know their abuse was causing harm which I have dobbed in those churches and doctors and entities of lower morals to police and to other medical bodies as well just to be a extra complete bitch! like isn't it enough that I am so charitiable I have stepped aside and been so so so so giving for other slutty whores with turbo powered cunts who need men and love more then me, I charititably and decently and modestly and politely step aside of these prostitutes and whores and scum women who are the lowest of the low to have a man. its just as giving to step aside for a whoreslut to have a manbeast scumbum man anyway as it is to give time or money to the poor and more needy desperate of the world. but man! am I sick of it. I actually hate women and look down on their sinful ways and laugh at these young so called dumb in love lower beings. and I even admit my attitude to love and jobs is "let me out I can't breathe" ! and I would rather run away and be the one that got away to make the bastards feel guilty and bad as dirty devils and laugh at them. I laugh openly at the younger generations and all they do, their babies and dumb weddings, their simplton degrees and work and their need to keep up with each other, try like i so happened to fall upon or find myself in a typical weekend going to the movies all these dumb whores trying to keep up with each other and do the face-off and shirt fronting sexy mom games and gossip and complain about hubby and kids and car and mortgage. its really amusing to watch these dumb spastic whores at their witchcraft antics. its so bemusing! my mother and i watched and giggled, as we do every time we go to one shopping mall and sit down and throw off at the twitty bird chicks inside at the travel agency and banks and how overworked the poor slutty whores are and the real joke is they really do believe they are sexy and hot in their drag queen high heels and fake eye lashes and creepy bodies and their creepy sleazy couple times. eek, it makes me squirm and giggle so much at them. sometimes I have openly mocked them. like the stupid dumb royals aren't they bemusing fool clowns as my grandma would have said "bunch of faggots".

can you see now why I avoid having these esoteric deep religious conversations when some dumb bitch ...