I'm a jerk to my ex's

Wishing for a miracle I'm intelligent. I have great relationships. Everything is good, except my "professional life". Apparently, I'm only employable to pour coffee, wipe ass, and clean up after people... And, I hate myself for it.

Wishing for a miracle I'm intelligent. I have great relationships. Everything is good, except my "p...

Bad Judgment /Really Good Distraction /Confused Over the past three months I have been working closely with my coworker on a project and over time I began to develop lustful feelings for him. Purely physical. Don't get me wrong, this man is attractive, funny, smart, and kind. He's clearly in a marriage he hates but stays for the children. He has no intention of leaving his family and I have no intention of leaving mine. Its a mutual understanding between us. Last week we joked around (flirting) and I surprisingly walked over and cornered him and gave him a b****** on the spot while people were still in the office. It was spontaneous and fun. He came in my mouth, I swallowed and afterwards i did not feel guilty but tried to make sense of it all. Why after a decade would I do this? Not trying to justify what happened. I'm just confused. The confusing thing is after that I totally want more. My body aches for it. I feel like a hall pass. I feel so unattractive, taken for granted, etc. Over the years I have always thought my husband 'settled' for me. Over the time we were together he left me four times (once a yr) cheated on me a few times. It hurts to know he has wanted to get rid of me on numerous occassions. Anyway I know I'm wrong but I still want him. The s** would be a great distraction and my body needs this.

Bad Judgment /Really Good Distraction /Confused Over the past three months I have been working clos...

Paulina I'm so in love with you.. All last night my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest every time I looked up at you. Your everything and anything I could ever want. I'm never going to stop loving you, wanting you and needing you in my life. You can deny it or ignore this but you need to know that we are gunna be together and I won't stop trying, not bc the love I have for you satisfies me.. But bc I love you for everything you are and what you believe you can be. I couldn't even feel like I lived this life right, if I didn't keep trying even if you never feel the same. I won't stop chasing my dream with you. I'm never settling for anything less.. I hope that one day I could be your dream too. ??????

Paulina I'm so in love with you.. All last night my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest ...