Sorry Uncle Pennybags, Sorry Mr. Monopoly!

i never said I was perfect I have made mistakes, I trusted the wrong people, I was gullible and I got angry a lot in private and self harmed, I sexually mutialed my own genitals for being such a dog cow ugly child to let that dirty old drunk near me, i used to swear and copy him I still swear when I am angry and I have to stop myself often. I want sex from someone I love because I am sick of giving sex to people i hate and don't love, which is what the pedo made me do and I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to be wiser. I did silly things like everyone does, came home late a few times I shouldn't have, ran away and came back, stole once or twice to get attention as a little child, or I just liked the flower and wanted it. It took me a while to learn to appreciate things rather then needed to control them or own them as a child. I wanted to pretty and loved as a teen, I went through a craving to have a baby as a teen and grew out of it cuz i was so ugly no boys would date me and i threw myself into what study i could cope with, I dropped out and failed as much as i have succeeded without a doubt. I have said things I wish I had not. I made choices I wish I had not, mostly on dumb peoples advice oddly enough. I was dumb enough to trust their dumb mentally ill advice til I found out it was not all they were making out. I have thrown things and the worst was when I threw a cushion at my cat for peeing on me on the bed and a few weeks later she had back issues and I felt so guilty. its like the time I got angry at one of my cats she wouldn't move off the dining table and a few days later we found out she had cancer and I felt so guilty. and another cat I went to wash him off and hose water from being in the hot sun the water came out too hot and burnt him and he got urinarian tract infection and died, I felt so guilty and blamed myself like i had to be the one that bought home swine flu and i left the towel on the wet floor to mop up a slip and my grandfather fell over lucky he didn't break anything but I felt so guilty I really didn't think he would walk around there, I made a few mistakes at work cutting a few corners to do jobs quick, I struggled to pay bills and got drunk as a 1 pot screamer its not half easy so I just gave up alcohol completely. I told my sister I am not enjoying the passionpop anymore it makes me sick, and i had a sweet sherry in a small glass one night got sick and never again! I drank at an office party and I knew not one guy gave a shit about me that I liked. all these idiots followed me around who were just dull annoying yobos and I never liked military men or people at all. I just don't really like the whole rambo non-sense they go on with.

i never said I was perfect I have made mistakes, I trusted the wrong people, I was gullible and I go...

I admit if I had been the queen i would have hit most of her kids over the head! they did some dumb things in their marriages that makes no sense to anyone! however I do agree with charles, "whatever the god dam mules on this earth love means?" load of rubbish! i mean "load of rubbish get on with ya work" like brick in the wall teacher is how I see all that nonsense! people don't DO love anymore! mum is right nothing makes sense about social media and no wonder people are mental now. the world is getting stupider that is when you know you are getting old when you know you don't understand and fit in and just don't bloody care anymore. but I don't have to do sexual or love things with people I don't like anymore. I might have been fooled once by rick and joyce and ken and russel and relatives and I don't have to anymore. I don't have to forgive!

I admit if I had been the queen i would have hit most of her kids over the head! they did some dumb...

let me blunt as possible back to bill shorten- I spent 15 years of my childhood forced to do and be someone I didn't want to be being molested - some people tell me It doesn't hurt me! - people having to live pretend lives is just part of life, and you get on with life and stop the soppy talk because believe me orgasms and love is not going to sovle the nations problems for disability hetrosexual abused women like me. I want a husband and I it means I will have to look further and look for younger hetros as most of the old men are gay now days without jobs they feel as gay as a fantale floating in the sewer but my attitude is like how people said about my abuse. "I can't do anything about it" "I don't know how to help catherine" - I too don't know how to help others now and I don't want to help gay fag losers and see a world of dirty smut rich gays breeding hybrids while hetrosexuals will be once again denegrated, its alright for you married whores in parliment with your degrees and jobs and flaunting your wealth and thinking your better then everyone else like you don't sit down to shit like the rest of us. you bombasticly walk over nicer modest genteel feminine women like me, but no I don't support poofters and lesdogs marrying. they are un-natural and unequal. what about disability single white trash women in australia who were sexually abused and no one could be bothered helping or having a vote or blebisite about our rights and changes so our lives can be improved and counted and allowed to marry hetrosexually and have jobs and cars and homes and children and degrees. i mean this whole thing is a joke. I won't support anybody enjoying life and people having fun! if I can't why should anyone else. if I can be labelled weirdo for being a victim of sexual abuse as a child then so can everyone else! compulsary voting is right. and media or public life like movies and music people should not be in parliment and its not a pop show!

let me blunt as possible back to bill shorten- I spent 15 years of my childhood forced to do and be ...