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I just found this site an hour ago.  Here goes.  I abused powerless persons; persons unable to retaliate.  I also tortured wild animals I was planning on killing for sport in my youth. In first grade, a kid was throwing rocks at me, I knocked him unconscious. I have taken my Lord's name in vain. I still love my first love.  I have dealt with varying degrees of covetousness concerning her ever since she got married in '99.  I have passively pursued her in her marriage in letting our mutual friends know that if whe left him, I will always be there for her. I have been filled with hate anger and unforgiveness for various persons:  My father who abused me, friends who interfered with me and my relationship with my first love, unfair college professors and especially administrators, persons involved in my drug addictions, and co-workers.  I have learned the lesson of forgiveness, but still struggle with hate and anger.  I wasted many years of my life living in drug dens, living off of the independent wealth of my mother.  My relationship with my mother for the first thirty years was based in the majority on lies on my part. I stole $80 from my freshman colege roommate, because I felt he ripped me off on geltabs earlier.  I have changed much in the past two years.  I pray for forgiveness.      
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my mum and I joke all the time because they have meetings at the local hospital about having a meeting and they then have to have another meeting to address that meeting before and the outcomes and then another meeting about what was not dealt with, they have to have a dozen meetings to work out what little wanker with the least amount of psychiatric or psychology skills goes over to the main public hospital to talk to a patient about the medication and usually its just a young naive social worker who has absolutely no knowledge of medications at all and are useless, they are so lazy and incompetant and all the money goes to the top and all these meetings they are always at with some waste yap fest while patients wait and wait and wait and wait is down right insulting to me and to the govt tax who pay for this. and this was the same with a friend of mine who was a nurse all the govt money was going to top staff for basic things and not to patients, the exact same process and mentality was happening at russo job network and I see it happening in a lot of places. their laziness and complacency is shocking. I don't understand their morals, well they just don't have any professional or personal morals that is half the problem beside the bullying culture and its at universities and work, I left one job due to sexual bullying and I was glad because I didn't like the uppty rude rich real estate asshole males anyway and the women were all whore and compelte ugly over makeup sluts and so bitchy and there was about 1 nice young girl I worked with at the time who was the nicest of them - these guys at the real estate were earning easily a few million a week with big sales and showroom cars new bought every few months. its all a scam of moeny. that is why I was so angry when garry who sold the house all he was was a cocaine snorting boilermaker with no education and ripping people off, no morals at all. my father seen it a lot at work as well. the complete lack of personal and professional morals was shocking. completely shocking. like I say the AMA - what do they do ? they stand for nothing. lazy useless stupid poxy little boys club of losers with no morals ripping off people who are needy and being abused.

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My girlfriend (N) and I broke up two years ago. We had too many insecurities and there was no communication. N blamed me for it and I believed her. N was hurt and mad. We were best friends before going out and we understood each other pretty well. So three months later (last year), we became friends again. I didn't forget her. I thought about trying again, but I was scared because I had hurt N before and I still didn't know how to manage a relationship. But not everything is about me. Her family is full of idiots. She always felt sad because of it, although last year she got worse. She felt empty. N told me that I was a great support because I make her laugh and forget all of that... I think she needs a friend more than a lover right now. If I told her about my thoughts of trying again, she'd have more troubles. Maybe we just can't be together, but I still have hope and I want N to get better. I know that I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to let go for still thinking that it can work, but I just wanted to tell somebody my feelings. I also know that the final result of this situation is probably me forgetting her.

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