alone i never had a large presence. no matter how loud i am, i am ignored. i used to cry when i saw a mother nurturing her baby. i was neglected when i was little, or at least it felt like it. sometimes, i open up, sometimes i tell people a snippet that hints at my depression, and often times, they hint back that its my fault. everything is blamed on my age, my views, what ive done. i hate this world and i hate humanity. no matter what i do its not enough, no matter how hard i try i cant learn fast enough for my dad. i want to kill him. preferably, i would use a noose, and tickle him while he struggles. perhaps that is too cruel to do for someone who has attempted to help me though. hes not cruel, hes just a dumbass. i might do it to my friend's friend, though. i tried to be her friend. i tried to get along. i always do, but my patience is wearing thin. i want to strangle her. i want to cut her. i want to abandon her. i need to get her away from my best friend. my friend is stupid, but for some reason she grew on me. i dream of hurting and getting rid too much… i wish she never came here. but i will keep pretending, as i always do. she took her away from me. her personality makes my friend's less and less compatible with mine. it hurts. im in pain and alone.