Sometimes I wonder if there really is a God. I've been going to church for 3 years and whenever I compare my life to my brothers and sisters, mine looses. They have lasting relationships, I don't. They can hold in alcohol, I can't. They got drunk at a younger age then me and is more experienced in that but I've already have to get my stomach pumped. They've been driving for longer than me, but I've already crashed. I trained for swimming for soo many years, my twin brother is in the olympics. I won't get there. Back in school, my grades were worse, but I tried soo much harder. I can't hold a job. I had surgery as an infant and have a disgusting 20cm scar. Oh and my financial situation SUCKS. My family isn't interested in religion, they used to give me s*** when I first became interested. But my life still sucks. Why would a god give his decendant a f****** s*** life that makes me want to give up and just do E or harder drugs to escape reality when people who are athiests go through life easy breezy? I'm over this.