i am sick of doing stupid courses and silly jobs for low money and going to nowhere places full of nothing valuable.

i am sick of doing stupid courses and silly jobs for low money and going to nowhere places full of nothing valuable.

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i actually hate the feeling of that green oasis floristy stuff, its gritty, and messy.

i actually hate the feeling of that green oasis floristy stuff, its gritty, and messy.

I am sick of people wrecking all my good things, good feelings, good health I used to have, good clothes and belongings. I am not tolerating it anymore.

I am sick of people wrecking all my good things, good feelings, good health I used to have, good clo...

Pride Abuse Hate

I am so relieved today, my bowls have been like bad lately on and off cuz of this detox thing I am on. and I watch a lot of dr eric berg and barbara o'neil at a health retreat cuz I want to go through a complete detox process for weight issues and my heart and my has thyroid issues and diabetites and blood preasure and cholestrol issues and takes medications and I have to be aware of it. I went off the hormone replacement therapy because I could not hack it, it did help ease period pain and I think might have lost a bit of weight on it but l was sick every other day with it. the only benefit I can see with it is sure the period pain for the first 24-48 hours was not as intense. but your near vomitting every day anyway. I have server back pain anyway and learnt to live with pain, but the heart palpitations are the worst feeling or feeling struggle to breathe. etc. since I had this vaginal byopsy I feel even more afraid to even consider sex. for the last 4 years I just can't even handle insertion feeling don't use tampons ever and there is a lot of issues for me, my spine and this occasional gritty feeling and chunch sound in my neck is unpleasant and worries me a lot. I go through fear of cancers since 2 ladies I knew had back cancer and died I was upset when they died and cried a lot and then I had always been scared of issuues of bone cancer since the car accident when i was 19 and all these middle ear infections and heart issues on and off. people wonder why you become so paranoid, fear, anxeity and panic disorder is a very debilitating thing. some days are a struggle to believe I will be ok in 5 or 10 years and I want to live a long life and I have always been health conscious and only ever drank small or occasional night out binge alcohol for a short while anyway. its not something my body could cope with even when I was young so I just didn't do it a lot. but yeh I have been told I am a hypochondriac and technically that is true...a person who is abnormally anxious about their health but with good reason to be that way after what I went through.

I am so relieved today, my bowls have been like bad lately on and off cuz of this detox thing I am o...