I am so relieved today, my bowls have been like bad lately on and off cuz of this detox thing I am on. and I watch a lot of dr eric berg and barbara o'neil at a health retreat cuz I want to go through a complete detox process for weight issues and my heart and my has thyroid issues and diabetites and blood preasure and cholestrol issues and takes medications and I have to be aware of it. I went off the hormone replacement therapy because I could not hack it, it did help ease period pain and I think might have lost a bit of weight on it but l was sick every other day with it. the only benefit I can see with it is sure the period pain for the first 24-48 hours was not as intense. but your near vomitting every day anyway. I have server back pain anyway and learnt to live with pain, but the heart palpitations are the worst feeling or feeling struggle to breathe. etc. since I had this vaginal byopsy I feel even more afraid to even consider sex. for the last 4 years I just can't even handle insertion feeling don't use tampons ever and there is a lot of issues for me, my spine and this occasional gritty feeling and chunch sound in my neck is unpleasant and worries me a lot. I go through fear of cancers since 2 ladies I knew had back cancer and died I was upset when they died and cried a lot and then I had always been scared of issuues of bone cancer since the car accident when i was 19 and all these middle ear infections and heart issues on and off. people wonder why you become so paranoid, fear, anxeity and panic disorder is a very debilitating thing. some days are a struggle to believe I will be ok in 5 or 10 years and I want to live a long life and I have always been health conscious and only ever drank small or occasional night out binge alcohol for a short while anyway. its not something my body could cope with even when I was young so I just didn't do it a lot. but yeh I have been told I am a hypochondriac and technically that is true...a person who is abnormally anxious about their health but with good reason to be that way after what I went through.

I am so relieved today, my bowls have been like bad lately on and off cuz of this detox thing I am on. and I watch a lot of dr eric berg and barbara o'neil at a health retreat cuz I want to go through a complete detox process for weight issues and my heart and my has thyroid issues and diabetites and blood preasure and cholestrol issues and takes medications and I have to be aware of it. I went off the hormone replacement therapy because I could not hack it, it did help ease period pain and I think might have lost a bit of weight on it but l was sick every other day with it. the only benefit I can see with it is sure the period pain for the first 24-48 hours was not as intense. but your near vomitting every day anyway. I have server back pain anyway and learnt to live with pain, but the heart palpitations are the worst feeling or feeling struggle to breathe. etc. since I had this vaginal byopsy I feel even more afraid to even consider sex. for the last 4 years I just can't even handle insertion feeling don't use tampons ever and there is a lot of issues for me, my spine and this occasional gritty feeling and chunch sound in my neck is unpleasant and worries me a lot. I go through fear of cancers since 2 ladies I knew had back cancer and died I was upset when they died and cried a lot and then I had always been scared of issuues of bone cancer since the car accident when i was 19 and all these middle ear infections and heart issues on and off. people wonder why you become so paranoid, fear, anxeity and panic disorder is a very debilitating thing. some days are a struggle to believe I will be ok in 5 or 10 years and I want to live a long life and I have always been health conscious and only ever drank small or occasional night out binge alcohol for a short while anyway. its not something my body could cope with even when I was young so I just didn't do it a lot. but yeh I have been told I am a hypochondriac and technically that is true...a person who is abnormally anxious about their health but with good reason to be that way after what I went through.

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i use my own "clinical" judgment now, my doctor wanted me to go have Ctscan on my sinuses and I said no, too much radiation exposure in 2014 I will wait to see what the surgeon/specialist says first.

i use my own "clinical" judgment now, my doctor wanted me to go have Ctscan on my sinuses and I said...

its a good thing I love my cats they cost us over $2,500 in the last few weeks and I need a holiday or a wage or something. I wish they could pay for their keep. all I do is apply for stupid jobs and never get a look in the door and I am sick of it. even when I had cancer I applied for jobs. even on disability I applied for jobs living in hope life could get better. I think its a sure guarentee that I won't marry or have kids or work full time or graduate from university - university was a complete waste of time and engery. I had to do something its not like I had hot guys after me. no one ever put in a huge effort to show any heart or ask me out like they ment it. I am sick of being abused. people wonder why i am celibate most of my life, but I was a virgin til 29 and had no job that I wanted to have. I didn't have privilege. no one ever saw value or competency in me but sandy when I was young. no one asked me what subjects at school i was good at and aim for work in that. I was told to just get any job the lowest possible casual part time hotel room cleaner apart from selling programs at sporting events and pocket money jobs, that is all its ever been pocket money jobs. at least i did save some while doing hotel work but it was hard on my back, near bloody killed me doing that work from 6am til 3 or 4 pm some days. I was lucky if I got home after 4 even if i finished at 2pm cuz of trains, university I had to travel 2 hours there and 2 hours home every freaking day. what for? to be treated like this? I never asked for this sort of life. no one said to me "if your good at bookkeeping go do that or go try something in retail etc" it was like joyce was like, "do the lowest level work cuz that is all you are and can hope for cuz you are shit" that was the message i picked up from her all the time. you can't have a police man or a male model or a doctor or anything I have. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwViQxSJJQ joyce was standing in my front yard laughing putting me down, telling me how I am such a fool, I would never have a man like her. every woman did that to me but a few. joyce must know about me, what I do. since I am not your everything as a client and client loyalty, replacing you has been easier then I ever imagined.

its a good thing I love my cats they cost us over $2,500 in the last few weeks and I need a holiday ...

Pride Abuse Hate

my parents and doctors are angry that I have been left in poverty without any friends or man and I deserve to be treated better. Its not fair and I have asked several times for people to stop bullying and abusing me and I mean it. soon I will get my doctors and a lawyer to write a letter to rsl and churches who have abused me, and make them search down this bunnypoeta and leigh morris, and ken who made threats at me. leigh made threats at me i had to go to that stupid cocktail party that was not even a party at all. no one spoke no one was dancing no one ate but for a few trays of snacks, there was no music and party atmosphere going on up alcohol. you could have seen a better party at our dive house years ago then that party. when you say cocktail party one has expectations of music, entertainment, quality foods and mix of non-alcoholic and so on drinks and music and dancing and people forced to talk to one another all over the place, you expect a certain atmosphere and standard like proper entertainment like a soul or r&b singer and sociability with people and some proper fundraising at the event like raffles and games etc. there games were unreal abnormal. I was so poor I just wore a black dress pants and I knew I would cold so I had to wear a jumper and my doctor didn't want me to go to the party because of the medication and leigh threated me if I didn't go she would push me out of the quest. I didn't want to go. I was too unwell to go, and it was no fun anyway. it was the most boring dull party ever, my cats know how to party more then they do. one of my doctors has made a lot of comments about how bullied me and my sister have been. a handful of my doctors are very angry over it and so are my parents. at least rose has been married twice and had a child. I haven't even been married once and have no child and no career, no graduation I should have been entitled to all that if everyone else is. stop bullying me or you will get it cunthole DB HANDBY! I owe you nothing. infact you owe me. everyone owes me, not me owing them. I am trying to make good of a bad situation but you didn't need to make it worse assshole DB. fuck off cunt. you fuck off bastard. stop abusing me! Joyce threated me, ken threatened me, rick threathened me. I don't have to take you abusing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!my doctors can't fight a case in law against you all you know, on my behave. any of my doctors or family or friends or co-workers, or therapists can fight you in a court on my behalf for the last 20 years or more of abuse. so stop abusing me.

my parents and doctors are angry that I have been left in poverty without any friends or man and I d...

Pride Abuse Hate