I am excited about doing "xyz " because but I also feel anxious about doing "xyz" because...!

I gave up courses also when guys rejected me at university because it was easier then having to see their cunt faces with bullying whore dogs who has either verbally or physically attacked me for them. so i just up and left.

I gave up courses also when guys rejected me at university because it was easier then having to see ...

I never know when men are attracted to me. I never knew when they liked me, because most ones that liked me I didn't like them and we had nothing in common, they would be uneducated never bothered to get off their ass to go to university or work in a office job, or buy a car or do much with themselves, I have had a lot of stupid ugly old boofheads with no class and no academic back ground, and their intests are like the drive through at KFC and stupid yobo stuff I am not. and I look at them and think "what the hell would make you think I want to go out with you?" I met one guy who dropped out of university and he was very very good looking and he went back later to study like me. he was sort of like me he had had health issues and emotional problems the whole time. but I never went out with him only talk to him on transport. weird men working in the railway would do stupid things to me as if like I was strange for crossing my arms and say stupid things at me like they were old and seemed to think I was stupid even bothering to go to university. saying "SO WHAT DO YOU DO? A BACHELOR DEGREE HEY, OH SO YOU WANT TO BE A BACHELOR DO YOU?" and make fun of me like as if that would win them a like tick with me. one guy after I was in the car accident literally insulted me and called me a "Vegetable" just because I was sitting playing a computer game on the weekend on the floor with my cousins. my sisters first husbands family were extremely abusive towards us and they were all weird and arrogant, the cousins and aunties and sibblings were all weird so we up and left and didn't stay for any food after a number of insulting parties where we were made fun of about unemployment or education or money etc. only they were important and would openly make fun of us, so did my brothers godparents kids and my older cousins make fun of us all the time. I really should have done it back like my therapists told me to, but I just told them I was sick of their abuse and set strong boundaries and wish for a no communication code with them or ken carey and girls like jackie and katy martin who bashed me at school and nick and his shifty drunk frump attacking me bashing I just told them I didn't want that in my life. other people in alp and that dam mongrel tonya who went around saying I gave her bills tablets she was a blonde bitch. she needed a good kick up the bum, she hit into me as well and she was a spoilt crazy bitch who married young and was a spoilt nob. I didn't do a thing to these idiots. there is so many people I just don't want around me. I have to be extra selective now about the company I keep, I am usually caring and non-judgmental but tell you this much. I believe that I was set up to tell anita off and margie made it clear to me from day 1 that their choir wouldn't be for me, she said "you might come to 3 lessons and think this is not for me" which said to me "I DONT WANT YOU HERE FUCK OFF" which was similar to anita's approach as well and a few therapist like at evolve and cause and effucked, and restore- mary was rude to me, as was mirranda. I never judges anna-maria for her past but she went weird and I couldn't cope with her crap! I had too much issues of my own and she was just out of control flirting acting crazy and I will not be around women once they do this I avoid them, I learnt this from my days around brigette, mum and others know I won't tolerate it at all around me, I just up and leave when girls act stupid and sexual and bitchy and boucey and weirdo and I won't have a thing to do with women like that. mary at retore offended me saying I don't need to ask men to meet my parents on first date, sorry my rules are my rules, how she runs her life is not my problem, how I run my life is my choice and my business. I am a no non-sense no messing around and playing funny buggers with me sort of person. and I could be tempted to up and hit someone I have not done that but after katy robinson bashed me I hope someone bashed her back and she should keep out of other peoples business like kelly who causes trouble everywhere she goes pretending to be a friend when she is just a back stabber. I met a lot of women like her, even worse ones. I have met a lot of assholes in my time and its a wonder I am a nice person because I should have been a asshole a long time ago. but I can still hate people.

I never know when men are attracted to me. I never knew when they liked me, because most ones that l...

I find I don't feel like a great person around certain people, they don't make me feel good when I am with them at all. it has always felt like I have been the one having to put that extra mile in, the extra smile, the added extras to boast up other peoples ego or confidence or feelings of comfortability and being understanding and compassionate and giving compliments and consider others feelings but not many people retrun in kind! so I feel just so worn out giving and getting nothing back in return. I rarely get that effort back to what I put in with people, they don't give back all I need they I have given them. then they wonder why I am tired irritable and sad and depressed because they just over use me.

I find I don't feel like a great person around certain people, they don't make me feel good when I a...