I was like lucy leek, clean clean clean the house, using old toothbrushes to clean the carpet edging and vacum and mop 5 times a day on one floor from the age of 7 til 35 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoNKLbPvCrY I even gave up going to parties and meeting up with friends just to clean and clean and clean and wash and wash and wash and mop and vacum and dust and clean and clean and clean. I even got a job cleaning I loved it so much, cleaning bathrooms and kitchens and making beds for hours a day. and my sister sure helped me with my ocd of cleaning... fucking mongrel bitch. she had the hide to call one of those pop stars mr messy which is herself. she sure cured me of a ocd cleaning disorder with all her mess and grott and running around around around after her when she was in hospital .https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdffu6Y6U84 wish someone would run around and around after me since i was in hospital.

I was like lucy leek, clean clean clean the house, using old toothbrushes to clean the carpet edging and vacum and mop 5 times a day on one floor from the age of 7 til 35 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoNKLbPvCrY I even gave up going to parties and meeting up with friends just to clean and clean and clean and wash and wash and wash and mop and vacum and dust and clean and clean and clean. I even got a job cleaning I loved it so much, cleaning bathrooms and kitchens and making beds for hours a day. and my sister sure helped me with my ocd of cleaning... fucking mongrel bitch. she had the hide to call one of those pop stars mr messy which is herself. she sure cured me of a ocd cleaning disorder with all her mess and grott and running around around around after her when she was in hospital .https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdffu6Y6U84 wish someone would run around and around after me since i was in hospital.
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i am so sick of these book publishing companies annoying me over my childrens book ideas, I don't have the confidence to draw like I did as a teenager its a art i lost interest in and anyway, i like my book ideas but not a lot of people do other then the book companies and I just don't have the money to publish, I had no idea how expensive it was anyway, and to get a professional or amature illistrator etc. I wish I had come up with these book ideas back when I was a teen. I have been working on other stories as well but my heart is not into them. sometimes it works and other times writing a story is harder work. I am not talent I just do whatever I am moved or in at the time, its like with art I used to draw and paint a lot, now I don't give a fring for it. it doesn't interest me the same way. I could draw a violin or still life or things but I just am bored with that now. at home I do more floral design now and love doing that. I also like different arty things and these publishing companies want to own your life and soul. I know they say they are trying to make it easier for me to get published but I am so depessed right now. this ear infection and chest pain and I have been serverly depressed since the vaginal byopsies to be honest. I don't know what could move the depression away. maybe some real friends, I don't know if people even have real friends anymore? do people still do that????

i am so sick of these book publishing companies annoying me over my childrens book ideas, I don't ha...