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I have two boy friends

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The one is mine since 4 months, the other since 2 weeks!  i don't know what i could do because i love them so much i don't want to make any choice. that's a mistake!!   please forgive me
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Cheating but not guilty! I am a married woman. My husband is a great guy and a very loving supporting father. I have had a wild past and enjoy to party hard but now I'm married and a mother the chances of going out are limited now. As I say my family is great and my husband loves doing things as a family but not that much as a couple anymore. When I get the chance to go out with the girls he is more than happy for me to go out and he looks after our child. Last Christmas I went out with some girls from the fitness class I attend. I wore a sexy black lace dress. As the night went on we bumped into a guy i knew from when I used to go out a lot. It was good to see him and I stayed out with him and his friends when my group went home. I know I'm not a good drinker and can become quite flirty but I was enjoying the attention. He bought me more drinks and we spent more time chatting and dancing together. I could tell he was interested and started to feel attracted to him. When I was younger I had heard the rumours he was very well equipped in the trousers. I hadn't noticed but the bar we were in was almost empty and his friends were no longer there. It was just the two of us. I was preparing to go with the intention of returning home to my husband. I told my friend I was going to the toilet, he walked with me then I held his hand and entered the ladies with him. Before I knew it I was sat in a cubicle with my friend facing me. I unfastened his trousers and discovered all the rumours I had heard were true. I won't go into detail but I performed oral sex on my friend. After that we both went home and our separate ways. We have kept in touch since with the odd flirt but nothing sexually has happened. My husband is none the wiser so I don't feel like anyone has been hurt. I've kept in touch with the guy but nothing has happened since although I often send him a flirty message. I would like to take it further but I'm scared of getting caught and losing my family. The thought of it though gets me excited xxx

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