I dont know why i feel so sad all the time.... it was soon after I got a good job position. Can you tell me why?

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This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

I lied to my boyfriend about taking birth control pills and got pregnant. I was so scared of loosing him I didnt know what to do. I was young and so naive. He doesnt know but he wanted to get rid of the baby and i went along with it even though I wanted to keep it. Ill hate myself forever, theres nothing I can do to ever forgive myself because I dont deserve it. I tried to trap someone, someone who is the nicest person ever and still is so wonderful to me. If i could ever go back I would never have done that. I didnt do it with hate in mind, my intentions wern't malicious. But what I couldnt see is getting rid of that baby and causing such pain to someone i love so much is the most unforgivable thing in the world. If you love someone you dont lie to them and you want them to be happy. I was just so scared of loosing him and now he will have this on him for the rest of his life. I will always hate myself for it, and i would do anything to be forgiven and change what happened, even though I dont deserve it and all i deserve is hate. Im so sorry

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