I have the social leprosy of the twenty first century. I am a 23 year old male virgin. Its not that i don't like women. I'm absolutely infatuated with them, but I still choke when I'm around them. Every time I talk to my father the first thing he asks me is how my Girlfriend is doing. I think he thinks he is being funny but my heart hurts every time he asks. He thinks I'm gay. I wish the problem were that simple, but its not. I go out to parties only to get drunk by myself and leave by myself and walk the streets of my city alone. In my city thats incredibly dangerous, but i gave up caring along time ago. I have never had a real human relationship. And I live with an incredible fear that i will die alone. I'd be willing to die a virgin if i at least new there would be someone who loved me with me at the end. The s** would be great but what i need is just female companionship. I hate myself for what I have done to me. I realize this post might be long and boring but i don't care. This was for me not you.I have the social leprosy of the twenty