I am depressed :-(

now I have all this wedding stuff I still want to get married, I wanted to get married when I was young, I actually wanted a baby when I was 16 but I knew I had to wait and go learn and work first but I never met the right men at the right time. fuck you dirty bitchy world and dirty bitch god and all the winners. yeh If I had known this was going to happen I would have told that lotto office where to stick their lotto up their assholes. it never served me much. it did nothing to help me really that life wouldn't have but made people hate me. so I can hate rich and clever people back now. I dropped out of university 3 times after each bashing over a unsuccessful relationship attempts and felt so defeated and a failure that men my own age were rejecting me and all these loser old farts I hated were getting in my way - now I just scream at the cunts and bastards to "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY OR I WILL BASH AND KILL YOU"

now I have all this wedding stuff I still want to get married, I wanted to get married when I was yo...

most of the men I have liked have been academic university teachers or busines men from overseas or male models I had crushes on, but I make a point of avoiding a lot of people now and I want to meet people I love meeting new people and having friends but I have never had a real friend ever.

most of the men I have liked have been academic university teachers or busines men from overseas or ...

it really should have been me who won the lotto rather then other relatives. I am a bear at the best of times and gold bug and very tight with money and occasional flamboyant moves, I like strong investment and mostly reality land and stayed and steady type investments. I am rather old fashioned in a lot of things but not everything. like I found it highly offensive for so many teachers to be making comments about "the boys usually go into criminal law and debt collection and wills and estates and the girls mostly go into conveyancing and family law where there is no money to be made" and their sexist responses about a lot of things was highly offensive!

it really should have been me who won the lotto rather then other relatives. I am a bear at the best...