im a liar and a loser and i hate myself

i had just recently finished my mid year exams.....my mum is very annoying bout how i hav 2 study all the time to get good marks.i hav been lying to her all the time saying i hav studied when i didnt even touch my books at all.i feel bad about this.should i just tell her i havnt been studying or just keep on lying to her about it?i love my mum but i just dont feel the motivation 2 go and study.plz i dont know wat i shuld do.....i dont want 2 lie but if i dont then she wuld b sad about me not trying my best..... in another cenario my group of frends met this other group of girls and our 2 groups started hanging out alot.i liked this girl but my frend also liked her 2.....but meanwhile the girl found out that we both liked her.then i told the girl and my frend that i wuld let my frend try 2 date her and stuff.i kept doin this and i made the girl feel really bad and like a toy bcoz we just kept passing her around.i dont feel very good and i think she lieks me but i think i dont like her anymore....i dont know if i liek her or not....she keeps on making me think she likes me and then the next second she givs me the impression that she dusnt.wat shuld i do?shuld i still let my frend go 4 her or do i just like ring out?and a few days ago i saw sum pictures of her frend and i thought she was pretty hot....am i a dikhed bcoz i like whoever i c?bcoz now i wanna hook up with the girls frend...i feel like a dik.....liking the frend of the girl i had just liked.....am i unforgivable or just selfish?i duno if i shuld still b liking the frend of the girl or shuld i not like her 2 b a bit moral in a sense.....i dont know..... plz help me
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When I was in high school my friend and I would spend the night at each others house off and on but just about once a month. One night we were laying in bed after lights out as my dad would announce to us. We were whispering and she asked me if I had ever had an orgasm, I was a little surprised at her question but told her I have many times. I told her that I have only used my fingers or rubbed myself on a pillow. She was curious about that one and asked me how I did it with a pillow. I got up and retrieved one of the pillows off my chair, it was square with little tassels on the corners, they had knots in them which were great to rub on. I positioned myself on my bed with the pillow corner under me and began moving my hips around showing her how I did it. She looked on and asked me if she could try it, she got into position and started gyrating her hips and rocking back and forth and I thought to myself wow I wonder if I look that hot when I do that. We laid back down and the next thing I felt was her hand running across my nipple then tracing around my breast. I just went with it and ran my fingers over her breasts and nipples also, after a few minutes she leaned in and kissed me. She was gentle at first then we got pretty passionate and I was getting really turned on. We stopped for a second and I asked her if she wanted to take off our pajamas. She nodded in approval and then it was really hot feeling her body on mine as we kissed deeply. I made the first move down her body kissing licking her breasts and nipples, when I reached her pubic hair her scent was intoxicating and I could not wait to taste her. My first lick of her was so sweet that I just sank my tongue inside her as deep as I could reach. We made love until we both had a few orgasms then put our pajamas back on and went to sleep, we made love often.

When I was in high school my friend and I would spend the night at each others house off and on but ...