Possibly the worst thing I've ever done

Anyone seen the movie “Flatliners”? As a kid, we teased a girl who later suicided. When I was 12-14, (seventh-eigth grade) there was a girl in our class who was generally unpopular. She was a bit shy and basically quite unattractive. I was also having social problems at the time, and our school was very cliquey - you were either “in” or “out”. I was on the borderline at that point. Anyway, at some point, probably in eigth grade, I made up the nickname “Frieda” for this girl. It was based on the Aussie movie “Puberty Blues” where there is a character called “Frieda the Moll” who is generally disliked but has sex with all the guys. I was being a smart-arse and trying to get myself ahead by treading on those weaker than me, which I know is despicable (there may have been an element of that even in the nickname - when you watch the movie, you feel a lot of sympathy for Frieda and despise those who mock her). Anyway, the most popular girl in the class picked up on the name and encouraged others to tease her with it. I didn’t do much of the teasing, but I certainly was reponsible in having coined the name. At the end of eighth grade the girl left our school. Her brother was in the year below us at our school, and I guess I heard of her now and again. It doesn’t seem she fared that much better socially at her new school. A couple of years later (at the end of tenth grade), we heard that she had jumped off a cliff. Most of us were overseas on a school trip, so we only got the details later when we came back. There were rumours that her Dad always gave her a hard time, calling her ugly and useless and perhaps physically abusing her. I have no way of knowing if that is in the least bit true. Because I was o/s, I missed the funeral etc. and I have always felt that I have at the very least some contributary responsibility to her death. I don’t actually expect forgiveness, as those I need to ask it from are her and her family, and because death is so final, forgiveness is not really an option. I guess I will just always feel terrible about this, and so I should.
20

Next post in 20s

Will redirect automatically

This confession was shared anonymously on i4giveu.com

More from 'Pride' category

its a good thing I love my cats they cost us over $2,500 in the last few weeks and I need a holiday or a wage or something. I wish they could pay for their keep. all I do is apply for stupid jobs and never get a look in the door and I am sick of it. even when I had cancer I applied for jobs. even on disability I applied for jobs living in hope life could get better. I think its a sure guarentee that I won't marry or have kids or work full time or graduate from university - university was a complete waste of time and engery. I had to do something its not like I had hot guys after me. no one ever put in a huge effort to show any heart or ask me out like they ment it. I am sick of being abused. people wonder why i am celibate most of my life, but I was a virgin til 29 and had no job that I wanted to have. I didn't have privilege. no one ever saw value or competency in me but sandy when I was young. no one asked me what subjects at school i was good at and aim for work in that. I was told to just get any job the lowest possible casual part time hotel room cleaner apart from selling programs at sporting events and pocket money jobs, that is all its ever been pocket money jobs. at least i did save some while doing hotel work but it was hard on my back, near bloody killed me doing that work from 6am til 3 or 4 pm some days. I was lucky if I got home after 4 even if i finished at 2pm cuz of trains, university I had to travel 2 hours there and 2 hours home every freaking day. what for? to be treated like this? I never asked for this sort of life. no one said to me "if your good at bookkeeping go do that or go try something in retail etc" it was like joyce was like, "do the lowest level work cuz that is all you are and can hope for cuz you are shit" that was the message i picked up from her all the time. you can't have a police man or a male model or a doctor or anything I have. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EwViQxSJJQ joyce was standing in my front yard laughing putting me down, telling me how I am such a fool, I would never have a man like her. every woman did that to me but a few. joyce must know about me, what I do. since I am not your everything as a client and client loyalty, replacing you has been easier then I ever imagined.

its a good thing I love my cats they cost us over $2,500 in the last few weeks and I need a holiday ...