Forbidden Cravings That Won't Fade

I can't keep this bottled up anymore; it's eating me alive, this twisted craving that's so wrong but feels so damn real. I've got these dark fantasies that creep in when I'm alone, thoughts about taking something innocent and pure, forcing my way in until they're begging for mercy or maybe even liking it. It's like a fire in my gut, this urge to dominate completely, no consent, no boundaries, just raw power and violation that gets me harder than anything else. I picture it vividly: the struggle, the tears, the way their body would resist at first but then maybe give in, and god, the thrill of it all makes my heart race and my body ache with need. I know it's fucked up, that it's not something I should even admit, but it's there, gnawing at me every night. I've tried to push it away, distract myself with normal shit, but nothing works. It's like I'm addicted to the idea, the taboo rush of crossing every line society draws. Sometimes I hate myself for it, feel this heavy guilt that makes me sick, but in the moment, it's all I can think about. I'm not proud, but I'm not sorry either; it's just who I am, this mess of desires that I can't control. And yeah, I've hinted at it before, tried to confess in bits, but now it's out there, raw and unfiltered, because keeping it inside is killing me slowly.