I am depressed :-(

so I said goodbye to hans and fabian, I really liked hans a lot, well I liked them both they had very strong german accents. but we had a office party and I drank too much and near pasted out on the way home, this asian guy drove me home and I could barely walk and like maria was like have some more drink, and I kept saying, 'no I really can't I have had enough I am starting to really get dizzy now" she is like "no no us germans know how to drink" well they did drink more then me, but hans was pretty cute that night, or maybe it was just that I had drank so much but didn't want to. I am not big on office parties that is literally the first and only office party I have been to, when I worked for a doctor he took us out to dinner and I just don't drink anymore. i found it was making me feel ill in the stomach too much. I liked port but don't drink that. I still have a full bottle of shrminoff gold leaf cinnamon and a full bottle of absynthe and i want to try it cuz I have never tasted it. i don't drink much - like i have had a fluffy duck once and a cosmopolitian once, a martini once, a mostly drank tia maria breeze with cranberry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpHfgDDK9cc my version is in a tall glass less alcohol more cranberry and mint or baileys on ice or just vodka mudslides with milk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR2ZJ1cGxyw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HkH1glleNs it just sounds nice because its made of fennel seeds but it might be a let down? I still have champaign in the fridge that has been there for about 4 years I never touch the dam stuff.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVlYfKv4we0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGJd-ZQK4os . I am not an expert on cocktails. I tried to make them only once and that was it didn't like it and won't touch the rubbish now, I am strictly iced herb tea or floral waters. the best wine I had was with a twist of apple and cuccumber flavor and one with honey ages ago.

so I said goodbye to hans and fabian, I really liked hans a lot, well I liked them both they had ver...

right this is my father- he hits the scotch and he has a rubbish bin obsession today I wanted to throw some rubbish out and he goes "no i am not throwing rubbish in the bin I just washed it out and its clean now" sorry I am fucking confused! then I got into trouble because I cut an orange on a plate that had just been washed and dried. just cuz I cut the orange peel? fucking hell is he freakin nuts... this obsession for the bin to immaculate like as if the rubbish collection people are like "wow, those people at bla bla street, wow do they have a really clean bin that smells like christmas bells and berries and their recycle bin is so nicely sorted" seriously this obsession has to fff well stop. he holds the rubbish boxes of jatz or tins have to be perfect he hugs the rubbish like they are babies. its not freakin normal. this is not normal.

right this is my father- he hits the scotch and he has a rubbish bin obsession today I wanted to thr...

I wish I had of whacked her in the head, she expected all the girls in the film group to call her "BIG KATY" and "BOSS" and then they all were picking on me and bullying me. it was hard to try to remain professional in temperment when I she attacked me, she bashed me, she tried to run me over, she sexually assaulted me, she was saying shit at me like "I am just afraid that you might think I am your evil twin" and "I need to get into your head" etc, the bitch was crazy, she literally sent my dad crazy, my sister crazy and me crazy. she spooked my sister off completely. this girl was driving our family nuts abusing all of us after my grandmother died when what I needed was a bit of fun and enjoyment and a serious relationship, Iike right then in 1999 I was 27 I wanted marriage and babies straight away and people just were attacking me everywhere.

I wish I had of whacked her in the head, she expected all the girls in the film group to call her "B...