I am depressed :-(

UGH. Freaking out in front of my boss/boss's boss. Of course. Because even though I'm just a cashier, even though this is my first real job, I still take everything too darn seriously. I wish I could tell my boss that he's a darn good boss, even if I'm always cowering and cringing because I'm scared to death of him. And I like all my coworkers too, but there's no way to tell them without looking like a kiss up. This is going to be more of a, "Everyone in my life is great, I'm just an incompetent fool when it comes to telling them" thing. How lucky am I, right? I've got a job I enjoy and great coworkers to boot. But even though I do well, I still feel hopelessly inadequate. Like I have to prove myself. My parents love me very much. They say they're proud of me. But I still feel like I'm letting them down. My grades are close to perfect. I'm making my own money, albeit they think cashiering is below their darling daughter's level. Still, it pays the bills. Where am I falling short? And then there's AM/IC. Gah. In my fiveish years of adolescence, I've done nothing but criticize kids like me falling in love. And by God, now I've gone and done it. But of course, I'd be failing him too. He's incredibly talented (at everything). He's (much, much) older. He's gotten a chance to live, and I haven't really yet. I have nothing to offer. I always told myself that I'd stay out of relationships until I was secure with myself, because I didn't want to risk going around trying to find someone to "complete" me. If I'm not whole by myself, what good am I to anyone? Worst of all, he's supremely kind. I don't think he's got a malicious bone in his body. And here I am. I'm the mean one. All my friends say I'm the first to dislike someone. It's kinda a joke now. I'm so quick to be a jerk; I've never seen him snub anyone, no matter how irritating. And I finally found a college, I think. After I finish my A.A. next semester, I think I'll be shipping off eight hours away. It's about a year away. In the back of my mind, I'm saying, "Tell him while you can." There's no friendship to destroy. At the most, the awkwardness would only last until January 2014. Then, I'm out of his life, probably for good. And run the risk that he likes me too, and then I have to go away. Rocking. Honestly wish that people would be upfront with me rather than sub me. I mean like damn why can't you just be like hey I don't like you rather than just make subs ? I don't get it. Then it be the same folks that are like I'm so honest and blah blah blah I don't get it. And to Be honest I've done nothing wrong nothing. I guess it's time to just sit back and watch rather than participate.

UGH. Freaking out in front of my boss/boss's boss. Of course. Because even though I'm just a cashie...

If I could talk to my friends in reality like I could over the Internet, I think I wouldn't have as much a problem being friends with some of them. But the fact that this year alone they have let me down so much that I start to wonder if they really are my friends at all. And the ones I don't really talk to online are the ones I'm feel closest to. I wish I had better friends

If I could talk to my friends in reality like I could over the Internet, I think I wouldn't have as ...

Ex BF Fucked me like a Slut I was on vacation back in my country and was going to meet my Ex BF. We planned to meet at 5pm. He picked me up from a Mall, as I told hubby that I am going to go shopping with some school friends and then may be a movie. He has a pick-up van. He drove for about 30 mins looking for a spot but due to long weekend in south Africa all the spots were busy. All this time I was under impression that he will take me to some hotel room and we will have sex. It got dark now, and we finally found a place. He stopped at a place by road side, asked me to at the back seat, he started kissing me and took my top off. He started sucking my boobs like there is no tomorrow. Then we saw some cars coming to our direction, so he jumped in the drivers seat, leaving my half naked at the back and drove the car again. After driving me naked for almost another 30 mins, as he had my top in the front. He found yet another spot and stopped by the beach front, came at the back, opened the back door, climbed inside, wore his condom, pulled my pant and underwear, now im completely naked on his back seat. My right leg was hanging down the floor of the van and the other one in his hand. Without any emotions he pushed his hard dick inside me and started fucking me deep and hard with lots of bum movements. Squeezing my boobs very hard while fucking me in the back of the Van, he continued this for a very long time I think I came while he was fucking me. He gave me pain in my groin and after a very long road side fucking he made a grunt and came. He was sweating and went out of the Van. Throwing his condom on the road, he jumped at the front of the Van and started driving. Leaving me naked at the back of the Van, I got dressed myself and jumped in the front while he drove. He used me like this for about 5 hours. Then later in the night he dropped me outside my house. He did not even care for buying a dinner for me a asked me for a bottle of water I had met him after almost 20 years and was hoping a decent hotel room, but I was treated like a cheap road side whore who just got dropped outside the house after a very cheap, and raw fucking. He knows that I am a very reputable lawyer back in my country, yet on that day I was just his whore that got fucked at the back of the seat on a dirty road.

Ex BF Fucked me like a Slut I was on vacation back in my country and was going to meet my Ex BF. W...