Confessions about 'Abuse'

Page 156 of 194

i am sick of having to see everyone having everything I need and want. I am sick of going without and I am sick of being made to feel ugly by everyone and unworthy. its gone too far ages ago. dr yana was abusing me she was the one causing me distress and yet she was saying rubbish like i was causing her stress - my therapist laughed and said she is nuts and should give up her job then. I am starting to hate all black niggar bums. I think they ruin white womens love lives deliberately out of jealousy and need to be stopped.

i am sick of having to see everyone having everything I need and want. I am sick of going without an...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i tust want to know why joyce as a therapist needed to see me fail at university and relationships and where and who was putting this bullshit in her head to say to me, why did she feel the need to ruin every part of my life. I never did that to anyone so why do it to me? how could it have made her feel better about herself anyway? its been 25 -30 years of hell. emotional and physical pain loneliness and abuse and never being hugged and loved right. I didn't think it would be this complicated. then she needed to ruin my career and health and our house and my dads business. why? why did she need to see me childless and isolated and in pain?

i tust want to know why joyce as a therapist needed to see me fail at university and relationships a...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i didn't like the way someone was implying that I was a door mat around macbeth and It felt like a black evil spirit witchcraft. I like other men too but there appears to be some engergy stopping me from seeing the medical people I need to, getting dates, making friends, getting jobs, etc. I am even considering changing pscyhologists again. I feel that its not working out in a good way for some reason it never seems to with them. I don't know why. there is only 1 I really trust. I need to see someone who will let me express my emotions and talk about the serious stuff these ones are not letting do that enough.

i didn't like the way someone was implying that I was a door mat around macbeth and It felt like a ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I don't want to be around pop stars anymore. they just don't do much for me emotionally or give me a boost or high. infact most were violent, abusive, rude and evil.

I don't want to be around pop stars anymore. they just don't do much for me emotionally or give me a...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I liked macbeth til I found out how evil and nasty he was. I really liked his smile and personality and I thought he was nice looking til he showed me what a weirdo vendictive man he is. its hard to believe men like that exist. I thought he was nicer but as time went on he was mean. I worked out he didn't like me and there was no way I was going to be allowed to be around him anyway. but there are other better men out there. its like that with david he means nothing to me now. I just want them all to go away if they can't love me just go away and don't flaunt their relationships and babies around me is my attitude. I got sick of seeing joyce wedding photos my sisters and fat bitches wedding photos and yet no one ever chooses me. and I can't love ken if I tried. a bag of cement just is not enjoyable company! we had nothing in common at all. It was depressing the whole time I was with him like russel if they only knew the depression they caused me having to put up with them. I had to do my civic duty in cultivating the classes yobos on how to dine with a lady and act half way normal and school them on how to talk about academic things and ken taught me nothing, russel taught me nothing. it was so morbid being around them.

I liked macbeth til I found out how evil and nasty he was. I really liked his smile and personality ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I am significantly depressed wondering why men have rejected me, but its not going to make me want ken or russel or wayne or frank more. so its counter productive over all this whole experience has been just wastelands for me. when I could have been in a marriage with someone I genuinely love rather then abuse and raped by ugly fat loser scum like ken or having to tolerate eating with a slob yobo fat loser like russel who got kicked out of the army and we had nothing in common at all. same with wayne we had nothing in common, frank was too childish to be a man and I wanted someone stronger then him he reminded me of my cousin too much. I am sick of being unlucky in love and pushed around. I should start pushing other people around! I needed a husband a long time ago.

I am significantly depressed wondering why men have rejected me, but its not going to make me want k...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

there is no enjoyment to look forward to in life, I have given up on believing some man will love me. joyce was right I am so ugly I have to bark like a dog for a man to love me. she didn't need to tell me that I already knew I was ugly but she didn't have to add insult to injury and enjoy seeing my university and romance and health failures like some sexual pervert voyuer needing to watch me go through things to make her feel better about herself. I still can't see how it helps her or me for me to be left on the shelf in every way possible and not allowed a husband or children or friends or fun. and I can't help it if I just don't love ken or russel or rick. I need a man who will act like a man and stop fighting act grown up and take responsibility for himself. I don't know why I have had to gain weight again to make sarina russo whore feel better about her ugly dogfaced self. I mean nothing could make those women feel better anyway, they just enjoy abusing certain women out of jealousy I guess I should have done it back to heaps of women myself. I wish I could bash katy back now and joyce and my sister for all the abuse and lies she has done. no one in this family loves her anymore but her delis' filipinas and I hate filipinas. they sicken me and my dad.

there is no enjoyment to look forward to in life, I have given up on believing some man will love me...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I am so depressed, I deliberately have made men I like hate me for other womens egos, then I get pushed to fat rapists I hate and I am sick of living like this and want a better life. I know people hate me but I am sick of being bashed over men. I actually hate most women.

I am so depressed, I deliberately have made men I like hate me for other womens egos, then I get pus...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i wouldn't give up my cats for anything, I just wish that they were easier to make them take their flea control and worming tablets, simmy had to embarase me last time at the vet he just refused to allow the vet to give him a worming tablet. and he gets on well with snug and mia and mooshi. mooshi is sweet little persian. simmy is a cute boy black and chocolate and snug my dad really loves him so much and he is a lovely playful boy who is a ragdoll. my dad used to hate cats but now he loves snug so much.

i wouldn't give up my cats for anything, I just wish that they were easier to make them take their f...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

when I first got mia (a mother cat) from a shelter she was a bit frightened and agressive, she wanted to be with me a lot but then she would hide under places if dogs barked or trucks past and she had obvious food anxieties she would grab food and drag it around and meow to her kittens who had been adopted out, she would also grab kitten plush toys and drag them or socks as if they were her kittens, a few times she has been agressive towards me and she does not like being in confined small places she can't get away so I avoid being near her in the hallway so she does not feel threatened. but overall she is a good cat who has learnt to adapt to our family. her and snug have had a few bad fights where he has made her bleed and attacked her, and I have had to punish him and tip water over him and chase him away from her. but mostly they are good and all get on. they know to behave if the water spray bottle comes out or a rolled up newspaper. I don't like them fighting.

when I first got mia (a mother cat) from a shelter she was a bit frightened and agressive, she wante...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I am not interested in ken and I want to stop the people who are pushing that rapist on to me again. mum said he is not welcome here at all and she will attack him and call police. so ken would be stupid to come near me again. he has to know he would never be welcome here in my family. my mother does not like him at all, mum does not like most men.

I am not interested in ken and I want to stop the people who are pushing that rapist on to me again....

Pride, Abuse, Hate

kelly then got abusive with me when I said I couldn't take the abuse of anita and margie and that doctors receptionist anymore. I didn't feel comfortable around them at all. I don't like kelly she is a complete smug slut bitch, no wonder other women were calling her a whore. she uses her retartedness as a her meal ticket to abuse other women. she is a selfish bitch. she asked me to her party and I don't know why she bothered asking me she gets her sister to pick us up in a old car full of junk that we felt in the way. kelly is strange. she is highly agressive and a complete lying brat. I thought she would be a real friend but she only cares about men not her friends. and margie was saying awful things about how she was going to tell her mother on her mothers death bed she hated her and no god would be there for her and that upset me because I have had fears for a long time of ending up a street person, I will end up a old battered hag on the street alone and have to dump my cats and let them die on the streets or feral slauger chamber in some euthansia house for shelter pets, and mum will end up a hump back living under a bridge and rose is the one who always survives with her lies and games over the rest of us. that mongrel lying whore. and kelly would not listen to me how abusive margie the music teacher is, I seen her abusive to stephy and me and others over carrying equipment and gossiping and her controlling into choir girls private lives making fools of retarted girls and intelligent girls she likes to make them feel retarted and unwanted by anyone like joyce did. and I could tell margie thought she was too good to teach those low life disables underneath all that false front she was hating it. I left because I didn't want to be involved in what games were going on, I don't need that in my life. I don't want to know either. I don't want to know about any of their marriges and fucking weddings and singing. I am not a singing birdy!

kelly then got abusive with me when I said I couldn't take the abuse of anita and margie and that do...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i hate sally from nutrijunk, sally drink drives and speeds and bullies all these poor students who can't afford the whole lie of a lifestyle nutrijunk promises. that slut only uses her cunt as her passport all her marriages she is so selfish self obsessed and she finds single neglect abused women who have never had husbands and she drains and sucks the engery from you. she says "who needs a man anyway hey?" and hones in on your personal needs and goals of needing a husband never been married, and then she her friends who get married 3 and 4 times and will cry "oh poor me I have not had a fuck and husband in years" and yet she has dates in dubai and a child of 10 other kids of 20 to other husbands and I could see what she was doing to me, a lot of woman do this to me, they hone in on your goals and needs and make them their own and steal your goals and guys you like and friends. she knows what she is doing and is good at it. like kelly from vision in voice choir she had a husband and was trying to off load him to me as if i would want that idiot she called her hero and then telling I should not think about the guys i liked in law or medicine and she is so spastic and mental disable demanding to tell me what to do don't go to court over the rape you wont win, and all this bullshit. think of your health but I will take your heart from you and ever man you liked. yeh I know your game you violent mental selfish married bitch!

i hate sally from nutrijunk, sally drink drives and speeds and bullies all these poor students who c...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i am sick of those whore scum skanky slut doctors expecting us to live like pigs so they can have all the jobs and money in our town. fucking fuckhole fuckheads they are. they did this. they ruined lives. they didnt give proper treatment and medical advice, they neglected and ignored. while they have luxuary and expect us to live like pigs without husbands and they live the high life the skanks. I hate them. I really dispise their existence now. mongrel selfish bastards. they don't know what we have been through or the let downs in life and abuse from universities and colleges. waster freeloading luxuary sucking scum they are.

i am sick of those whore scum skanky slut doctors expecting us to live like pigs so they can have al...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

it gives me a migraine putting flea control on my cats they act like I am going to hurt them and they hate the smell of the flea control chemical and I just don't want him licking it on his fur now he ran away from me and won't come out from behind the lounge chair and I gave him food and he is still offended. I just don't want him sick and dying from the chemicals if he licks it. I don't know what to do. he does this to me everytime making it so difficult but he must work out the fleas are not there after and his fur looks better, then the others run away and I have to get them all seperately unawares and they take off like wounded cats. its so upsetting when all I am trying to do is help them feel healthier. trying to get him into a cage to go to the vet is just crazy. this is were I have needed a man to help and no one has got off their hole to help me. I can't move furniture I near break my back making beds and all this spastic skanky scum slang whore of a doctor wang and his sluts at wello could say was " just keep shopping for fun" what about a clean house or a holiday or a real life not just shopping and having a over cluttered junk heap of a broken down house. what sort of health advice is that? stupid skanking whores they are. they don't know hardship and suffering they only see it in their patients they don't know poverty and hovel and squaller and discrimination and neglect and abuse first hand.

it gives me a migraine putting flea control on my cats they act like I am going to hurt them and the...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

nobody in the outer family or in the family seems to care about me and how I feel anyway, and I guess they never did. at least I know for sure where as before I was only speculating! I don't care for them. I told mum i was finished with ugly lazy sue after her "stop raping me michael" letters at me and her abuse raving on about how "can't you see we have a life of our own" but it was me who gave you that life slut, why didn't you say that when I asked you to be a judge at my baby shows then? you had a life of your own then too! and at roses wedding your whore slut bitch dog sue ! the poo whore! anyway mum agreed with me completely sue went mad and she shouldn't be doing that abuse to me.

nobody in the outer family or in the family seems to care about me and how I feel anyway, and I gues...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

someone sent me an annon email saying "he also gets his money from other places" and I don't know who it was from or about but I can only guess.

someone sent me an annon email saying "he also gets his money from other places" and I don't know wh...

Pride, Abuse

the wizard of bitch was behind it all however! and where is that thing now?

Pride, Abuse, Hate

THERE WERE 3 STEPHIES, A DOZEN KARENS AND SO MANY LAZY SUSANS AND MORE OLD CROWS IN THE WAY THEN AT THE TENNIS COURTS AT MILTON.

THERE WERE 3 STEPHIES, A DOZEN KARENS AND SO MANY LAZY SUSANS AND MORE OLD CROWS IN THE WAY THEN A...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

just imagine ! a clean house in order, a room of my own to sleep in and a study to work in un-interupted. a bigger clean kitchen. more friends and someone to organise all my day to day things and tasks. just imagine a husband caring about me! is that really possible after all this time? really! I buy wedding dresses and veils and can't someone I can find attractive rather then dull, indulge my fantasies a little.

just imagine ! a clean house in order, a room of my own to sleep in and a study to work in un-interu...

Pride, Abuse, Hate