Confessions about 'Bu'

Page 118 of 198

I don't understand what these people want from me. I am sick of being expected to guess so much and they not living up to my needs and wishes. few people ever have lived up to my needs that is the whole problem here! one poorter hole causing all the trouble.

I don't understand what these people want from me. I am sick of being expected to guess so much and ...

Abuse, Hate

and I don't smoke, I only ever bumpuffed and play acted doing that for a party or camera with a friend never ever been a smoker. I can not breath that shit into my lungs I can't even walk past someone who smokes it makes me sick.

and I don't smoke, I only ever bumpuffed and play acted doing that for a party or camera with a frie...

Abuse, Hate

even when I was thin - I was not a swim suit binkni person, I just don't like it. its not my scene, like even to wear a sarong is hell for me. and morally I just feel its wrong to even bother accepting this offer. I am not that easy to buy. I really don't feel morally comfortable about the whole thing. its not even like I will find any man who could love me. I was never good enough when I was younger, why would it change now. as if it could? it never does, people never treat me good enough. nothing ever works out for me in my life anyway. everything is just too late. I can't have a baby now. I don't believe a word my doctors tell me to be honest I don't think I am as healthy as they make out. I just play their game they want me to but - where is the job? where is the husband I was supposed to have 25 years ago? where was all the fun that I was supposed to have when I could enjoy it and now I am too old too sick and too hatefilled and untrusting of anyone anyway. a real man if he really loved me, he would come to my door and have the balls to show himself and and not put me through suffering always questioning - is he out to murder me? another set up for excitment to lead to bitter disappointment? when is the next insult from where around this place? I expect people to get off their ass and do, not plot and puzzle but its all about the NOW to me. I was forced to settle for less and everyone else can too! I have not enjoyed live in over 30 years. don't fucking try to game me! I can't help it if I think like a cop, its just how I am. I am never relaxed ever.

even when I was thin - I was not a swim suit binkni person, I just don't like it. its not my scene, ...

Abuse, Hate

I don't like boats, I don't like being in water like the sea, I get sea sick badly on a ferris wheel let alone a cruise, I have to take medication to stop vomiting because of middle ear problems, I get sun burnt badly so I won't be about to go out in the deck much because I can't bare the look of the flaming water and the fear of the ship sinking, I can't stand the smell of the sea, I hate everything rocking. I just like being with real friends and eating out lean, I can't stand the sight of my relatives and most of my family. I have no friends and no husband and no boyfriend, no one likes me because of one dead beat loser who raped me and I am over it. I went and got medical help, I don't want the scam artist near me again. I even prefer planes over cruises anywhere we go my mother or father or both will have to come with me because I don't trust anyone but them and my doctors and police unless I take the ones who care about me with me what if I get sick and have heart problems or ear or other problems? I always seem to want to be around a good doctor or police officer who seen me professionally to feel safe and if I get sick will help me if I need something. I don't trust anyone else. I want to enjoy a holiday but its no fun with all the problems, what about my cats, I can't leave them here with anyone incase they will harm them, I can't trust my sister alone and my dad is not likely to go anyway because he always complains and my sister spoils everything anyway. we are a broken family where things can not be fixed all thanks to fuckface pooorter holehead.

I don't like boats, I don't like being in water like the sea, I get sea sick badly on a ferris wheel...

Abuse, Hate

this site sickens me, I like my confessions I don't want other people talking on here. all they do is talk rubbish and its abuse on others who are on the site with real problems.

this site sickens me, I like my confessions I don't want other people talking on here. all they do i...

Abuse, Hate

I just tried some papaya and penonie and more seaweeds, it stinks like a weird sea smell with the frankisen and myrh and I just can't get over how burnt I am my leg got burnt and even my foot.

I just tried some papaya and penonie and more seaweeds, it stinks like a weird sea smell with the f...

Abuse, Hate

my mum said once she got so sunburnt as a child her mother had to cut off her dress and she said she was grateful because she hated the dress anyway. I know that feeling. like today I have tried frankincense and myrh and fennel oil, aloe and seaweed again, and sprayed some peppermint spray over me. and made a green tea with cider vinegar and lime and cinnamon and last night I had some coconut water again. I only ever have 1 coffee a day and I drink more tea as I prefer the taste. I am blistering on the back. I don't know if I went to my skin doctor he would probably not be good about this and of all people I should have known better already having skin cancer removed but I seriously was not in the sun that long, I thought the bloody tree shade was more then adequate - when these things happen I really begin to question my common sense or is it just some other factor? like I walk longer distances other days I like to go for walks sometimes because it just clears my head so I find any excuse to go out because I am sick of being at home. well really to be blunt I bloody sick of everything and everyone around me, I just want to move and change a lot of things in my life. I am not happy here anymore and I have not been happy living in this area for a long long long time. its only money and opportunities that have held me back. I hate the place, I hate the area and the people. i just hate everything about it.

my mum said once she got so sunburnt as a child her mother had to cut off her dress and she said she...

Abuse, Hate

it did upset me in a way seeing the murder scene photos I guess, its personalised feeling just knowing blood stains in places, its disturbing but I had to tell a few criminal profilers things that I could tell others, I wondered about some of the kids who were killed when i was a child. I just don't talk about it because I don't know what really happened but i won't let go of it once I sense things, i want to make them pay for what they did to david. you will pay will alright. it just takes time proving things.

it did upset me in a way seeing the murder scene photos I guess, its personalised feeling just knowi...

Abuse

what really hurts me the most is I know that my neighbors killed people I know what I heard and seen and smelt the burning of dead bodies that made me so sick, I had to get ambulances and I am passed off as some stupid pill popping idiot who is delusional and crazy and my dad even saw them dancing around bon fires doing pagan dances and I just don't understand it. I sure hope you are all pleased with what you have done! to me!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sd_CRBEBgQ

what really hurts me the most is I know that my neighbors killed people I know what I heard and seen...

Abuse

toy drones, coming near me in public are annoying

Abuse

this indian bitch doctor never gave me an explaination for her bullshit games the whore bitch witch. I hate her today as much as then because she had no good professional practices at all and my therapist told me to get rid of her if she was going to harm me and not help the specialists and support their advice. the woman is a nutcase. evil vile witch I have no time for and I felt like she was using me and wronging me the whole time, no quality doctor giggles and laughs and makes fun of the specialist and she was always making me feel like I could not trust them, the same with wellpt they were doing similar abuses as well. lying on patient charts and getting things wrong mixed up with other patients deliberately and saying and doing stupid things and I knew that was don and mary abusing me. I knew they were behind the whole fraud game they had going with valentino. evil vile people. untrustworthy scum of the earth.

this indian bitch doctor never gave me an explaination for her bullshit games the whore bitch witch....

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I was sick this morning with gastro and I made the mistake of going out for a few hours to sit under a tree near the water and I got burn under the tree. I just couldn't take it at home and had to get out of the house for while and see life outside. and I didn't want to eat much i just had a milk and cheese drink and my usual heaps of water but I forogot to put sunscream on, I wish I was not so forgetful. really its embarrsing, and I can't believe I am this burnt just walking 10 mins to the bus and sitting under a tree anyway, i am so sore now its shitty, I have put aloe vera on but I am still burning inside. I have just had this heat and this awful brisbane climate I can't take it anymore I have hated it for the last 25 years I hate the place so much. I hate burning you can't enjoy the outdoors its so hot and I am sick of it.

I was sick this morning with gastro and I made the mistake of going out for a few hours to sit under...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i am nice to people they act rude to me, if I act rude to them they act nice to me, this abuse has to stop, I am not going to be your jesus schizto nutter suffering on the cross for you! lazy mf asshole.

i am nice to people they act rude to me, if I act rude to them they act nice to me, this abuse has t...

Abuse, Hate

when your a loser ugly dog like me you always get abused, but it gonna stop soon because I will not be your fucking jesus dying and suffering on the cross for any cnt mf or any person at all at any dirty churches or fck upty snots and low lives. so stop abusing me you dirty mf scums. your trouble and dangerous spoilt selfish assholes alright and I am not the criminal don makes out I am. I bet he is but.

when your a loser ugly dog like me you always get abused, but it gonna stop soon because I will not ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I just went out for a few hours at lunch and sitting under a tree and wait at the bus stop and I got really sunburnt I don't know how I was careful but careful enough. I hate getting burnt, oh I am always doing something wrong when I don't mean to. the world hates me because I am a dog ugly fat old loser - what can I say?

I just went out for a few hours at lunch and sitting under a tree and wait at the bus stop and I got...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i feel really sick the last few days I want to cry but I can't, nausea and feel like just want to throw up and I wanted to ask the eye specialist if I had a brain problem at the back of my eyes or anything cuz my ear has been sore, but I feel stupid if I say anything I don't even know if they would tell me the truth anwyway. no one tells me the truth much and all talk heap of shit most of the time at me, and I just look at them like 'oh well, that's a few more thousand in your bank account ya cnt! fckoff then I will be on my way out the door mfasshole!" hope you die before me not nice knowing you! cheers then. and I just smile flatly! cuz as if they care anyway!

i feel really sick the last few days I want to cry but I can't, nausea and feel like just want to th...

Abuse, Hate

i just have had no feelings and stiff upper lip and express no emotions because no man is ever going to love a dog shit nothing like me. and thank god my therapists think "X" was no good for me. and I have illness to look forward to not much else. nothing much else to say but suffering like joyce wanted me to be.

i just have had no feelings and stiff upper lip and express no emotions because no man is ever going...

Abuse, Hate

I used to care about politics and stuff but look when you sick or dead none of them are gonna care about you! or how you felt so why bother giving a stuff, I am all about me me me me me me! I should have been a selfish self involved dumb blonde at 16 instead of a learning red haired loser! seriously, no one is gonna care and there is no god! sorry if that offends anyone but I think there really is no god. if there is he is a complete jerk! but if you want my opinion expeiencing illness- there is no god. there is something and a whole heap of nothing but its not what you think.

I used to care about politics and stuff but look when you sick or dead none of them are gonna care a...

Abuse, Hate

has anyone experienced that sleep paralysis like the doco the entity. I have. I can't even talk about it. it scars me.

has anyone experienced that sleep paralysis like the doco the entity. I have. I can't even talk abou...

Abuse

all he wants to talk is boring politics and I don't give a fuck about those losers! they are lowest scum of the world that do nothing for real victims like me. they have done nothing to help me so why should I care about stupid ragass politic whores!

all he wants to talk is boring politics and I don't give a fuck about those losers! they are lowest ...

Abuse, Hate