Confessions about 'Bu'

Page 135 of 198

I am worried how I am going to get my cat in the cage to go to the vet he behaves really scatty and hates the cage and he hates flea control even more. its a real struggle getting him to take worming pills and sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing getting him. I love him so much but I worry sometimes I am going to die younger then I expected when I don't feel well and worry about ear cancer and other issues, I have always been there to help others but no one is ever there to help me.

I am worried how I am going to get my cat in the cage to go to the vet he behaves really scatty and ...

Abuse

I don't believe in returning stray cats they should be in special shelters to be tamed, because they can be tamed !

I don't believe in returning stray cats they should be in special shelters to be tamed, because they...

Abuse

grandma melanie!

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i want to stop my mum and me from spending to save for holidays and emergencies and investments. they just need to learn these things. I don't know how i was supposed to get rich on the pension and my sister was on it a good 15-20 years before me and I don't think all this has been fair at all. I don't like the way I have been treated and I am offended.

i want to stop my mum and me from spending to save for holidays and emergencies and investments. the...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I got this cheapskates 1950s handbag 2nd hand or could be 5th hand for all I know. I like to sometimes change the look with some paint or color and clean them over with vinegar or a cleaner. I admit I don't like a lot of modern handbags they are either too big and chunky or too dear. I like just a touch of vintage rather then going all raving out on it. but I have been learning to curb my addictions with my doctors and therapists and I admit I went shopping for things I didn't really need but because deep down I felt something was lacking so bad inside of me everytime I was rejected at job interviews I filled the void with speading for another job interview etc and playing "the part" which sounds crazy and also I was like a magnet going back to the same people in expensive city shops mostly buying discount items for someone to chat to because all my friends would bit by bit dump out on me at college or work and I shut down. it seems to be a re-occuring pattern. and I cant relate to the way tafe teaches courses anymore and the cost which is insane. I can remember signing up to a secondary community college and paying like $150.00 or so max with a govt rebate on top of that for like 5, 12month units that went for the full year in 1992, and back then you could do a associate diploma (AD) for over 2 years for like $20 per unit. they don't charge that now. I don't think its fair that I would like to do a course in something like floristry or other things but the prices are over the top and I would prefer to go to a private florist that just does sideline training school closer to my suburb anyway or in the city and you can choose your units and when its all added up you still get your certificate, there was one near a hospital and I think it should be everywhere now, and cake decorating and heaps of things train within the store or business. not a lot of families can afford $14,000 for a dental assist certificate. that is just outrageous and you wonder why young people are drinking? I don't drink alchol but you know it makes me angry because so many people are not getting a sense of community and socializing and work and I just think its evil. I can't see tafe at southbank changing because already they are doing degrees and I can't afford them. I can't understand marking systems and I like courses that are set out quick and less ambigiousness the better, easy to pass and easy to read or webinars and lectures online or classroom. I struggle with white paper and boring delivery of a course content.

I got this cheapskates 1950s handbag 2nd hand or could be 5th hand for all I know. I like to sometim...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I am very tired and very depressed lately and I want to get of the house more because since the whore next door has been bullying me with her chooks in our yard - I hate this spastic whore of a woman she loves herself and needs a good bashing up! I feel no pity at all for her. she deserves a bullet in the head to be honest the abuse she did to me over that actor. they can all go to hell as far as I am concern. they came here with the deliberate intent to cause trouble in this neighborhood like donna did and I know it. I just want to get out do new things meet new people and find a good weight loss thing and I wish we could move from these gossupy mongrel satanic neighbors, that aint no gentlemen, and that aint no real blonde, she is a bloody gossupy annoying actress I want our family to be off the hussy maniac freak of a cow. they have changed the tone of this neighborhood. it used to be a nice place til donna came here and got worse with courtney I just don't like them.

I am very tired and very depressed lately and I want to get of the house more because since the whor...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

i am sick of being my own teacher at everything what ever happened to teachers anyway? lazy mongrel bastards. they are jealous and don't want to pass on new learning incase others improve their lives so how do they expect knowledge to be past down for the world to improve then? they are stupid. lazy. selfish. spoilt and lack moral autheticness.

i am sick of being my own teacher at everything what ever happened to teachers anyway? lazy mongrel ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I have seen my mother naked a lot of times and I love her big saggy tits with those massive dark brown nipples which I would love to suck on

I have seen my mother naked a lot of times and I love her big saggy tits with those massive dark bro...

Abuse, Sex

I get so upset when I see people who want to sell their cats or dogs just to move or travel its so selfish. I am so sad to see lost cats at shelters and the dogs, I would take in a cat or dog. I worry my former friend was not looking after her little black cat right and was going druggy again rather then religious. she would just dump her cat I worry its crying in the rain. how evil she is to her pets. I want to punish her or find out if they are ok? should I? sometimes when I go near where she lived near shops I look to see if her cat is left behind would she really care about her pets over cock? her world is cock or fake jesus and bs?

I get so upset when I see people who want to sell their cats or dogs just to move or travel its so s...

Abuse, Hate

I refuse to watch tv, I just decided, no job- no fun! full stop to life! no tv. no car etc. I only rarely watch the news or current affairs compared to years ago, I can't stand b&b soap and can't understand how my father can watch that rubbish and those whores. they are all whores even the men. I rarely watch science shows I used to love and tv is crap. I just don't have time anyway. I don't go to the cinema much and I most study or just be with my cats, go out to exhibits and shows, do my floral stuff and gardening a bit and I have lost interest in just about everything even study sometimes. I can't stand most new music and don't understand the bands and can't tolerate the old ones at all. I used to like the high teas but it lost interest after it was changed and emma went weird. everyone I had mixed with outside my family all went weird nasty vendictive selfish bitter cruel snotty backstabbing so I did a bit of it myself seeing my therapist said to so I just started dumping on a lot of people who were not living up to my standards of what I would call a "friend". I have become extreme about this mind set now, of what sort of person you have to be to be around me. I don't feel I owe anyone a thing. I am learning to be as bitter backstabbing and that wanker of a doctor bullying me acting stupid has really pissed off my mother and father and me and my sister and we just don't tolerate that shit from people anymore. same with these weirdo churches tony and margie are a pair of absolute cowards I told them have no backbone to even faceup and call they run away from confrontation and debate and like the whore on the phone last night I called her and out and out liar I knew she was lying from day one and then the way she fobbed me off she can't bare to be challenged and I knew she would cowardly drop because she is a liar. I could tell by so many things and I dobbed them as well as all the others. I will go anyone confrontation and fight and yell anyone down now, mum is the same way. I am not afraid to literally ignore kids but I did stop the baby from ending up in the road and calling out to the father, but I just don't want to be friends and I am not afraid to be rude to people and tell them off and what i think of them now. even the queen or anyone. I can't understand a queen that goes for pop music non-sense and these apes of people. so much scum around today. I told tony is he a coward. I wish he would ring so I could out and out have a argument with the useless idiot just to let out my anger and their pathetic turn out they hav there is a shocking disgrace of a druggy ego maniac farm, they are all nutters and cowards. can't even fight, and he really thinks women want him or his old bag, no way! they are full on warlock guahl.

I refuse to watch tv, I just decided, no job- no fun! full stop to life! no tv. no car etc. I only r...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I can't explain why my father was rejected from so many jobs from 1986 onwards and then the same thing happened to me I was just ignored from getting austudy for a few years even when the govt should have told my parents they could get that govt funding and then its happened in other things being denied access to health care and education in a timely reasonable fashion unlike my older sister and brother, being denied friendships and a husband and wondering why I am not good enough. I never ever felt like I was not enough for a man consciously till I met joyce who told me that was how I felt. I felt like "how can I make a guys like me and am I pretty enough? and a lot of avoidance of love and romance or just being turned off after 15 years of molestation by a dirty smelly old drunk since the age of 4 or 5. and I did feel good enough deep down, but I did wonder why I was being ignored and rejected much the same with work and courses because I would have done a lot of things but constantly in my teens and early twenties my older sister rose and my father were like "we are the important ones in this family" then it was like my younger brother was like "I am the mr bigtime of this family who deserves it all young" and he was just ruthlessly evil and misogimistic and just selfish and vulgar and he was very spoilt as the only boy. he never knew real hardship like I did. my sisters relationships with all her boyfriends were just a push you out of the way type of thing and her several husbands she is violent with hitting them with brooms and rose is like a violent sister I have tried to do so much to win her approval yet can not, all the make overs I would put on her for parties and night clubbing and making her feel good, then I just stopped doing it because she was not returning the favor. deep down I wondered as time went on why I was not getting the jobs or boyfriends when I was just as worthwhile as my sister or any relative or the next person, and she has married these filipenas man and it has made me feel like I as a white woman am not good enough to see myself in my minds eye with a white man who is educated classy and all that I have wanted in a man and I don't and have never wanted a black husband ever. I resent the way my sister has made me feel cuz she has had so many husbands and boyfriends and she is a selfish person , she was a awful mother and i don't understand why she became so controlling about who I was allowed to date and who not when she was married herself and my love life should not have mattered to her like that. its like she doesn't want me to be loved or have a husband I love and seems to want me to be inlove with her only helping her its kind of sick and I don't want that. I have wanted a husband and I did wonder why white young men were rejecting me when I was at law school and university an working I did wonder and it made me want to improve myself more in everyway til I just could not longer hold the ceiling up with out breaking down. and no one ever noticed when it was me. and i am sick of getting flowers from women just because I found there bank card in the park and called the bank to return it or flowers from slobs yet no nice men ever buy me flowers or ask me out to dinner or buy me jewerly and yet my sisters husbands have for her. and I think well, when will it be my turn, when will i be good enough for god sake?

I can't explain why my father was rejected from so many jobs from 1986 onwards and then the same thi...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

how can a reasonably thin teenager attract so many fat yobo old boring slobs? and losers? old alex of 70, some loser south american of 80 some violent pig like ron, was I that bad looking or that poorly behaved ? cuz I just won't except I was that ugly at 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21,22 , 23- even up to 37 before I started gaining weight again from these medications and illnesses. I just won't accpet I was this ugly ugly ugly red haired teen that everyone wanted me to believe! you all have to answer and be punsihed and to your penance over that! my cats are all who care about me and being on a disability pension only is not even enought to look after them properly with vet bills and insurance and I can't afford all these surgeons and doctors for back and this and that. every week theres something.and this little wanker in some business chain called me a shit magnet one day - what woman wants to be spoken to like that.

how can a reasonably thin teenager attract so many fat yobo old boring slobs? and losers? old alex o...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

suddenly everything I ever wanted has passed me by... why did you have to be a heart breaker , and you were never what I wanted you to be,... that is my song, but for a church like a touch of love ministries to do all this lies at me saying for me to be fertile and get married to a nice young man, I thought fine, young ok-- 32-40 but not 12-14 is completely upsetting and offensive, here was my heart getting so excited at the idea of finding a love at last and having a baby. I can't afford a surrogate to have my babies. I am sick of this and I am sick of ricky martin and his brother that chef wanker manu abusing me, I don't want to know them now. I don't want to know all the people who let me down, I had to see people getting married having babies and getting sex and looking great, and all I got was raped by a fat loser and I don't even know what it feels like to orgasm with a mans dick in me let alone giving birth, its supposed to be a gift from god this incredible thing that a womans body can do give birth to another human being. there is some thing sick and evil about this society that abuses someone like me like this. sorry but I never loved russell I never loved wayne, I never liked or loved ken, I never loved frank I never loved allan, I never loved peter who was older then he was making out- no 2 ways about that, he was a bald fat loud opinionated slob like all the others, wrinkled man who looked 40 pretending to be 20something.

suddenly everything I ever wanted has passed me by... why did you have to be a heart breaker , and y...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

so I defiantly went out today and bought some pink jeans and you make me fat one more time I am going to up and bloody murder a whole group of people starting with in my own house. I am sick of being everyones fat dog joke that can't find a husband when a nurse said to me the other day- from everything you have told me you been through with illness and rape and child sexual abuse for all those years and all your mother can do is expect you to sleep her bed clean her house have no friends or man, live like some pig and your father couldn't even been bothere to protect you from a pedo or these bashers, you been this pillar of strength for everyone around you and what about you? your 45 no kids, no husband, no job, no car no house never had a real boyfriend even fat shamed then thin shamed accused of being a gym junkie for 2 x a week light gentle exercise is not a ocd, and she said "you are a great person and don't like any one not any person convince you are shit and deserve to be abused or all this negative shit of joyce or rick or katy or ken or relatives, you're the one who has self sacrificed over and over watching and help people around you get dates and love and babies and when your sick who is there to help you? who is there to care for you when all your life you cared for others too dam much! your the one up worried about bills while your mother and father sleeps like a lamb" they aren't worried about who will care for them and when they are gone are they gonna care for you? you have to be selfish and make it clear to people you deserve a husband and a baby and get out of your way you mean business" and just attck them, bash them if you have to. these people abused you bashed you for no reason. they are to blame they should be made to fix the problem. " I never fucked up anyones like, I never went out of my way to ruin anyones like, sure I might have got angry and hurt and I am even more so today. my needs are not listened to and the nurse said I have to make people- so I will I will threated to murder and attack people if I have to. people did it to me so do it back!

so I defiantly went out today and bought some pink jeans and you make me fat one more time I am goin...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

how come you find it so hard to believe that two old friends could get together and decide "i'm sick of being an abused woman, i always shoulda been a boy" and the friend saying "yeh well i always wanted to be a woman so lets really do the deed then and fix everyone?" i couldn't do that but what makes you think two wealthy clever high profile people couldn't or wouldn't do that and be laughing at everyone! this whole elton john and david furnish and diana conspiracy thing? I couldn't want to be a guy but you know it always offended me the way my bitch of a older sister slut always was the one who only could wear fucking pink! and I was not allowed to for some reason, cuz she wanted to be the only girl in the family. and you know I am fucking sick of this whore doing her dirty do dog act at me when she is con, she bashes her husbands with brooms and has attacked me, just about all my family have physically bashed me at some point for no particular reason. they never care about my needs as a woman or needing a husband or children. I am always caring about them but they don't care for me, my selfish mother is gonna die in the next 20 or what years time and all this "be a good girl and nice to people like the dirty catholic church told me to be" has allowed all thepedos and abuses go on against me. when my brother and sister are completely selfish people who have no real religion in them what so ever, why do you find it so hard to believe people could say "I am done with you or your shit"?

how come you find it so hard to believe that two old friends could get together and decide "i'm sick...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

my neighbors wives and kids are all prostitutes ! and they all have kids to other people. dad said courtney called stephanies husband "a ugly little man" but as if she can talk when she is a rather ugly little man herself! my dad thinks she is a bitch!

my neighbors wives and kids are all prostitutes ! and they all have kids to other people. dad said c...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I COULD TELL DAVID AND PETER WERE OLDER THEN THEY WERE MAKING OUT THEY WERE, DAD OFTEN COMMENTED ON DAVID CREEPY PASTEY DEATHLY SKIN APPEARANCE THAT DIDN'T LOOK HEALTHY AND HIS WEIRD LIFESTYLE THAT MADE NO SENSE. THE POOR FAKE FAMILY ON THIS OLD BOAT AND CAMPERVAN THAT MADE NO SENSE. THE FAMILY ALL BROKEN UP AND INCESTIOUS ABUSES FROM JUDY ALL THE TIME HER COMMENTS ABOUT HER SONS SEXUAL PERFORMANCES IN BED WAS WEIRD WE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE BLANTANT chicanery GAMER MENTAL BEHAVIOR THEY WERE ALL ABOUT.

I COULD TELL DAVID AND PETER WERE OLDER THEN THEY WERE MAKING OUT THEY WERE, DAD OFTEN COMMENTED ON ...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

WHY WERE SO MANY UGLY FAT DIRTY SMELLY LOSERS SURROUNDING ME AS A THIN/FAT CHILD AND TEEN I ASK YOU?

Pride, Abuse, Hate

who gives a crap about any of you shitbag losers and druggy whore loving animals possing as royals when your con artists up for murder and sexual deviancy making out your so perfect but your not and everyone knows it. I am starting to think that this whole thing about david furnish and diana is true and more is gonna come out about other royals as well and they can come and transinvestigate everyone looks like no one is safe of being labeled a tranny now since i joked and called myself a tranny granny that david bowie and criminologist bsingwaite created, the experiement that went wrong going through an abused childs diary for satanic kirks soft drink fun is over mate! my sister is not going to tolerate you k. she will kick you off. and bash every man with a broom like she did to all her husbands.

who gives a crap about any of you shitbag losers and druggy whore loving animals possing as royals w...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

ken is a chainery girl tranny by now for what he didn to me and as for maryp for poophead. I have forgotten about you dog. you raped my cousin in 1977 or eariler that is why you named your kid by his name and you on a con job- so why did they sew up your purse what sin did yee commit to have your bankrupcy and alcoholic whore mother and I have not forgot that you and your sister abusing me? a grown woman sexually jealous of a pedophile victim child is really sick mate.

ken is a chainery girl tranny by now for what he didn to me and as for maryp for poophead. I have fo...

Abuse, Hate