Confessions about 'Hate'

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I am really trying to fight this reaction to the flu injection, straight away I got a flooding to the brain like wet brain sydrome again. I feel so scared I am going to die and I have to have another blood test and the choking fits in my sleep really frighten me and chest pain. i have had dizziness and vertigo on the bus the other day and migraine head pain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2FgAHpR0ds&t=331s with my neck vertibrae and my mastoid I know I was told it was not showing signs of infection but it felt like a bubble burst in my ear drum or mastiod. no one is telling me much but that i am over reacting but choking and waking to gasping calling out to my mum trying to tell her in your sleep is not normal.

I am really trying to fight this reaction to the flu injection, straight away I got a flooding to th...

Abuse, Hate

I demand you to help me whore.

Abuse, Hate

i have been really angry since my college jacked me around because they just don't seem to care about the students as much as they used to. teaching used to be a profession and like so many things now its not the quality it used to be. staff are strange and lack friendliness and socialibleness now. the us and them old game. everyone can play that one.

i have been really angry since my college jacked me around because they just don't seem to care abou...

Hate

I was walking home last night when The Checherman jumped out from behind the bushes and melted a plastic bag on the left side of my face. Now I am hidiously deformed and like Two-face from Batman. I can never show myself in public again. :

I was walking home last night when The Checherman jumped out from behind the bushes and melted a pla...

Abuse, Hate

fuck this stupid course. already fucking sick of this shitty crap.

Hate

my cat drives me mad wanting me to pat her which is annoying she just annoys me for affection and I have to push her off a lot and same with my boy cat, they just annoy me after while especially digging claws into me. I just don't want them around my chest and breast and throat one wanted to sleep on my neck and chest and I couldn't breathe it was so annoying since I had surgery.

my cat drives me mad wanting me to pat her which is annoying she just annoys me for affection and I ...

Abuse, Hate

I didn't expect to see comments. But, I'm grateful, because they helped me become a bit more resolute. I'm attempting to muster enough courage to tell/show him tomorrow night (or I guess it's technically tonight now). I think I've more or less convinced myself that he won't care about my scars or past and will continue to love me regardless. He's been nothing but loving and considerate up to this point, and I should trust that he won't stop. He'll most likely be a bit annoyed at me for not doing it sooner, but I think he'll be glad to have some questions answered. I did have a few PTSD episodes around him, despite my best efforts to avoid stimuli that would cause them or remain grounded, and, like you said commenter 1, he was usually left rather confused after my reactions, since I didn't really explain them. I'm fairly certain he's kept a mental note of what triggers them, though. For example, the phrase "connect the dots" being spoken loudly aloud, either as its own phrase or in a sentence, is one of the stressors that's triggered my PTSD in the past. It may seem rather strange, but that phrase is deeply rooted into some of the most painful moments/memories of my life. Although I usually am able to keep myself grounded, I would sometimes be caught off guard, become extremely despondent and skittish, start internally panicking with my heart feeling as if it'll beat right out of my chest. At one point in time I had flashbacks frequently, but they've become a rarer occurrence. My fiancé loved using that phrase, but after seeing my change in demeanor and reaction every time he used it, he stopped using it altogether. I feel guilty so guilty that he does that on my account and about not explaining it to him yet. He's been so patient with me. I'm afraid that I'm going to falter tomorrow, but at this moment, I think I can do it. I don't want to be ruled by my trauma anymore. I want to be happy, and I believe that he's the one I can be happy with. Even though you'll probably never see this, thank you commenters!

I didn't expect to see comments. But, I'm grateful, because they helped me become a bit more resolu...

Hate

Why are the majority of Nurses and Teachers assholes? Seriously. I want you to think about that. Yeah there are some great, funny, and nice teachers out there, but there are so many hardass fuckwitted asshole teachers. With nurses you do have the sweet caring ones, but the majority of them are snobbish bitches that don't care about anyone but themselves. I don't get how these types want, pursue, and eventually get jobs that demand a personality that's the polar opposite of who they truly are. Even in college you have the worst acting people pursuing jobs in those fields. The double life whores who lack any emotional involvement or depth want a nursing job, and the condescending know-it-all goes after being a teacher. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Why are the majority of Nurses and Teachers assholes? Seriously. I want you to think about that. Y...

Abuse, Hate

not around me your not ! stuff simulator N

Hate

I hate my summer! I have nothing to do. I have no friends and there's no volunteer available or activities. I can't join camps cuz I don't have money.... I tried to go outside but seriously i have no money... no car..... staying outside makes me feel uncomfortab;e cuz people looked at me like i did something wrong... why?!?!?!?! I'm so alone in ilfe along with my family who doesn't really understand what i'm feeling. I hate social media i have a tons of friends online but no one even like my status or anything so yeah i never opened for days. i just give up nothing works for me when it come to socializing.... i'm done i'm just done. i don't care anymore.. i'm so sick of trying to be nice to people. like wut did i do?!?!?! serious;y to be picked on. my hair color?!?!?!?! fine whatever i'm just trapped in this fucking island. staying at my computer all day..... eating, sleeping.... i hate summer but i hate being in school more!!!!! i just hate everything..... being selfless is hard for me due to this many crap bothering me i tend to be only thinking of myself............ I;m so mad in the world tht why my life was like this.....!!! there's no such people who cared.. why only me who tried to care.....? okay i wont help others anymore then..

I hate my summer! I have nothing to do. I have no friends and there's no volunteer available or acti...

Hate

everytime I have these choking episodes I firmly believe its a bad omen and some warning and I just shut down for a while and re-evaluate things and life.

everytime I have these choking episodes I firmly believe its a bad omen and some warning and I just ...

Abuse, Hate

I just woke up at about 3.30am this morning struggling to breathe and heard a "klunk" noise in my head. I was dreaming about playing some computer game were I was a fish and I had to go into ocean creavouses and eat up seaweed and find hidden lost treasures and each level the spaces got smaller and smaller and I was wondering how I would survive it and woke up chocking and feeling scared but I was really trying to calm myself in my sleep saying "its just a computer game its not real" but when I woke up I was feeling heady and dizzy and choked up. and thinking like "oh no not one of those episodes again!"

I just woke up at about 3.30am this morning struggling to breathe and heard a "klunk" noise in my he...

Abuse, Hate

i have not had a proper job in 8 years and i am sick of living like scum. other people with less education and knowledge them me are working and rich ones have 4 or 10 masters degrees and too much money, can you see where the world went wrong! not sharing the opportunities and money and resources around. its another form of culling and the have no ability to feel for others at all.

i have not had a proper job in 8 years and i am sick of living like scum. other people with less edu...

Pride, Hate

the docotors who have bulk billed me and not charged over the medicare level seem to have the attitude of "I will treat you as shitty as I like and you owe me, seeing I do you a favour you have to do me a favour to get my whore dog crazy dogface daughter a fuckmate boy" and other shit like that. like why do doctors think they deserve more upper class sprog bonding then the rest of us? who the fuck hell are these mf dirty doctors? and their loose women of sin! - the way I see it the govt pay so they are all the more accountable to the govt and taxpayer that they do provide the best practice care to me or else their in trouble. no if buts or whats!

the docotors who have bulk billed me and not charged over the medicare level seem to have the attitu...

Abuse, Hate

i no longer want to rise to peeps and men. it means nothing to me. what a load of shit to have pride and rise. what a pack of bullshit!

i no longer want to rise to peeps and men. it means nothing to me. what a load of shit to have pride...

Hate

Who're FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!!!!! WHORE WHORE WHORE WHORE!!!!!! I FUCKIN HATE YOUR DAMN CUNT FACE!!!! IM GOING TO LEAVE THIS PLACE ONE DAY AND BEFORE I DO IM GOING TO SMASH YOUT GODDAMN HEAD WITH MY FUCKING WHORE STOMPING BOOTS LIKE A FUCKING WATERMELON GETTING CRUSHED BY A TRASH COMPACTOR!!! MOTHERFUCKING WHORE!!!!!!! FUCK YOUR GODDAMN SOUL TO THE PITS OF HELL WHERE THE ROADS ARE PAVED WITH SHIT AND PISS!!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YIY FUCK YOU!!!!! ABD FUCK EVERYONE ELSE THAT THINKS YOU ARE A NICE PERSON BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID GOR FALLING FOR YOUR FAKE ASS SLUT BULLSHIT PERSONALITY YOU BIPOLAR CUMDUMPSTER!!!!! IM GOING TO SHOVE A PIPE DIWN YOUR THROAR TILL IT EXITS FROM YOUR ASS AND WELD THE TWO EBDS TOGETHER AND THEN IM GOING TO BURN YOUR ASS LIKE BARBECUE!!!! STUPID FUCKING CUNT ASS SLUT BITCH ASS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT GODDAMN FUCK ASS WHORE!!!!!!!!

Who're FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!!!!! WHORE WHORE WHORE WHORE!!!!!! I FUCKIN HATE YOUR DAMN CUNT...

Hate, Sex

I don't understand why some people bother to try to speak with me if they have nothing to speak about. Why do I have to drag a conversation out of you. You iniated the conversation, I did not. You chose to speak to me I had no intentions on holding a conversation with you. So why start a conversation with me if you have no damn substance in the convo ? Just don't hit me up ever again. Makes more sense. I refuse to drag a conversation out of someone if I had no intentions on speaking with you.

I don't understand why some people bother to try to speak with me if they have nothing to speak abou...

Love, Hate

This is about a very offensive bully. this person thinks you're not supposed to notice his shit pulled on you. As a matter of fact he lies and makes you the bully he perceives is after him. I need the politically correct dicription... not some lame colorful foul answer. I can do that all I want but it doesn't describe the problem.

This is about a very offensive bully. this person thinks you're not supposed to notice his shit pull...

Hate

new doctor will cost $400 so it means no gym no entertainment no luxuaries. gyn is over $300 and other specialists. its beyond my control!

new doctor will cost $400 so it means no gym no entertainment no luxuaries. gyn is over $300 and oth...

Abuse, Hate

at the fitness centre tv was on with slut royals and their cunt kids and don't want to exercise anymore if I have to be subjected to the abuse of seeing their cuntfaces when I exercise.

at the fitness centre tv was on with slut royals and their cunt kids and don't want to exercise anym...

Abuse, Hate