Confessions about 'Hate'

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we won't be able to afford smart phone or iphones for bus passes if parents die without superannuation and I have no money or super saved. I have zero nothing.

we won't be able to afford smart phone or iphones for bus passes if parents die without superannuat...

Hate

i was supposed to have a key hole surgury because my doctor was worried about a tumor growing in the bladder and I know my stomach has swelled out, the doctors are so bla about it. I am suprised I wake up and get up a life. some mornings I am afraid of having a heart attack. i need more vitamins and I am waiting to have this specialised medical treatment and I can't afford a dietician right now. I can't really afford gym. food is so expensive now. the pension is just not enough to survive now. some people seem to have a attitude that i should be seeing it as my early retirement and live like a bachelor gay with no kids or man and i can't. if my parents died we couldn't afford this house or pet insurance or internet and things we have. we would have to give up a lot. filipino cookie says disability single women pensioners like me are rich and we are not compared to the average wage or if i had a husband and baby with baby bonuses and mothers benefits. i couldn't even afford a child without work. idiots say "a womans place is in the home" and it might be if they are married living with their husband and have kids but if you can't afford to go out to meet new people to find a man how do you find your own home to have a place in , I ask? i sick of all the lies and games of people.

i was supposed to have a key hole surgury because my doctor was worried about a tumor growing in the...

Pride, Hate

I just got to focus on making it through these next few hours of pain.

Hate

i gave up my car and licence for much the same reason we never had enough money to afford it. I gave up music and singing lessons due to it all costing too much. I stopped seeing specalist doctors even because my health fund and medicare don't cover enough of it for me to have a social life or go to the gym. i gave up aa meetings cus the cost . it was costing too much. bus fares $5.00, they want $5-10.00 for the room and raffle tickets all the time and I can't afford to eat a $20 dollar lunch every midweek with people because I can't financially afford it, and afford doctors and pet bills and paying for this stupid health fund that didn't even cover the vaginal surgery I had now I am a born again virgin its a bother, since that surgery. if the doctor had booked me in a hospital for day surgery and put me under general rather then local anaesthetic the health fund would have paid. they don't pay for me to see the podiatrist or extra i pay in medications or gym. they don't pay for travel insurance or dermatology and skincare needs, they don't pay for enough to justify having it running. useless lazy company. other peoples health funds paid for half of their visits to poditatrists and other things and all mind will pay out for is massage/physio. I had to have cancer surgery recently they don't pay for that, medicare are weak. i can't afford it all. I couldn't afford therapists like joyce and I was paying my music teacher over $100 a week at one stage and I had to give it up when I went to see a therapist. no one ever gave me a compansation payout from that car accident or assaults I have gone throw. and I would like to be financially compensated for the insulting things people have done and said to me. like that slut qut law teacher with her "finders keepers" talk. that was offended me. i never liked her she was evil. like that female broomstick doctor, I loosely call it a doctor. couldn't even diagnose a illness my mother could see my grandfather had and she has no medical degree. its just common logic.

i gave up my car and licence for much the same reason we never had enough money to afford it. I gave...

Abuse, Hate

i knocked back a nursing degree, a pathology course and also a law and international business degree mostly due to "can't afford it", I dropped out of university doing an arts/laws degree cuz it was costing too much per unit and the books were too dear. so I dropped out apart from the fact that i was having a nervous breakdown that no one even noticed me having or that I was assaulted several times. so I can't help myself if others don't help me either. no one helped every one just assumed I never needed help or money and how wrong they were. their the liars and con artists. not me.

i knocked back a nursing degree, a pathology course and also a law and international business degree...

Abuse, Hate

i feel ill. went to pharmacy and found medication cheaper and need to use it new pack every 2 weeks. it all costs money and I don't even know if my health fund pays for my medications. why can't someone make sure pensioners get the full use of their health fund and do the work for them ?

i feel ill. went to pharmacy and found medication cheaper and need to use it new pack every 2 weeks....

Abuse, Hate

I am not feeling easy about the offer because its all well and good for the offer but I have to pass stuff to get in the door and I just don't have over $10,000 dollars to go study in research fellowship right now. and all I do is study study study and I need more money and work.

I am not feeling easy about the offer because its all well and good for the offer but I have to pass...

Abuse, Hate

i need around $7,000 just to cut even to do post grad study and i don't know where it is coming from. I need $7000 for my book publishing. and I have other expenses like medical bills and pet medical bills and that is not including holidays for other people or house expenses on repairs - to a house i dont even own. i do get some discounts for massage/phsyio with my health fund but not near enough to cover other medical needs like surgery in clinic and other speicalist visits. I sometimes feel like getting rid of my health fund, in the last 12 months i never used it once so what is the point of having it? they won't pay for my education or real health needs or give me a job or find me husband?

i need around $7,000 just to cut even to do post grad study and i don't know where it is coming from...

Abuse, Hate

and you have never considered my needs ever, not one of you mongrel lazy bastards. I have never had the luxuary of some man providing for me or supporting me. I have to do everything alone. you always consider everyone else but how I feel in this family. so fuck you and you can go die and sit on your fat ass and die die die. you should be helping me get more things in life and you know you owe me more! yeh, you know it!

and you have never considered my needs ever, not one of you mongrel lazy bastards. I have never had ...

Abuse, Hate

i have been offered a position in a research post grad but I need more money to afford to do it. so I really need a job to get the things in life I need and want. I am sick of going without things for others who never thank me anyway. I need work for a lot of reason. I just want part time work. I am thinking maybe I should go just ask for that diamond mine rather than simple things like part time work. infact I will have a few dimond mines and gold mines thanks. I m sick of waiting around here for nothing.

i have been offered a position in a research post grad but I need more money to afford to do it. so ...

Abuse, Hate

i don't everybody anymore. i hate most people. and i love myself senseless.

Pride, Love, Abuse, Hate

these were like the stupid conversations rick and katy went on with. once you been burnt by some con arstists like rick and katy and joyce you learn to either play the same game or walk away. katy bashing me then kissing me and rick the same shit ? wanting threesomes, fucking mental cases. katy with her love of ricks knifes, you never fucking knew me fuckface rick and katy and joyce. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOrnUquxtwA

these were like the stupid conversations rick and katy went on with. once you been burnt by some con...

Abuse, Hate

people never know which way I am going to turn or vote. I feel no loyalty to anyone seeing no one showed any to me. and I can be a bitch to whoever I like now! and get away with it like the dogs who abused me got away with it.

people never know which way I am going to turn or vote. I feel no loyalty to anyone seeing no one sh...

Abuse, Hate

i have such a fluid personality I copy heaps of people who have abused me from my grandmother to parents to assholes I met who were never friends. just anyone sometimes. i mean you have to get it out of your system some how !

i have such a fluid personality I copy heaps of people who have abused me from my grandmother to par...

Abuse, Hate

sometimes I copy people who have abused me, at others at their expense.

Abuse, Hate

i'm a loser cuz i didn't do drugs or get drunk all the time and was a two pot screamer, as they say. i thought the smog bong was an asthma device or lolly pop that is how naive i was. i was undercover. i just wanted to hurt everyone i could now. looking back i didn't at the time but i do now and should have gone in with that intention seeing everyone else was that way.

i'm a loser cuz i didn't do drugs or get drunk all the time and was a two pot screamer, as they say....

Abuse, Hate

all i get from my brother and sister is when asked how are you mum says is "arhrrhhhgggaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaa" so my therapist told me to do it to heaps of people back. and this is two of the finest supposed to be in marriages of bliss? I'll be the mockingbird here lost in my sarcasm and cynicism and criticalness of others and chronic backstabbing ways. i mean you can its all an act from people. that is why i am sick of people putting on their dog at me and bs.

all i get from my brother and sister is when asked how are you mum says is "arhrrhhhgggaahhhhhhhhhhh...

Abuse, Hate

i even dobbed myself in, I dobbed in family everywhere too. neighbours, schoolss, teachers, people i don't even know in music industry waving bats around. yeh I dobbed in heaps. i love dobbing in people. it make me feel good.

i even dobbed myself in, I dobbed in family everywhere too. neighbours, schoolss, teachers, people i...

Abuse, Hate

did venus or some slut blow your mind and dick when I was the stupid best friend that stuck up for all of you fuck holes?

did venus or some slut blow your mind and dick when I was the stupid best friend that stuck up for ...

Abuse, Hate

my honest opinion on somethings in life, "did they need to know it was christmas time?" in africa or any of these black races that have walked over white women and white men in white culture. it seems to me the blacks like the white dollar and white upper echelons of white tradition but they have a long way to go to earn their place in it all and white people have been too stupid to not give more to their own. I mean that is why I did it to others cuz white whores did that to me. so I gave things to niggar whores over white whores. if you gonna close me out I will hurt you back! so I did and will and always will. i can mean like that. I can cut a lot of people out. I am a mean person now. there is no love left or felt in me. I don't want some niggars love. all I do is study. anyway by 2030 no jobs will be left it will be only a knowledge society so I am getting in early.

my honest opinion on somethings in life, "did they need to know it was christmas time?" in africa or...

Abuse, Hate