Confessions about 'Murder'

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Last year I killed a homeless stranger with two knives while he slept right outside a church. I live in My home country México, the next day I went to that church to attend mass.

Last year I killed a homeless stranger with two knives while he slept right outside a church. I liv...

Murder

You guys believe in ghost?I saw a ghost. My Mexican partner and I were just putting the finishing touches on a floor we were carpeting when I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye. It was a white opaque human shaped thing that walked into the wall and disappeared. I thought I was working too hard but my Mexican partner was scared stiff. His mouth was open in a silent scream. I was scared but not nearly as bad as this guy from some s* splat of a town in southern Mexico was. I got up and walked over to where I had seen the ghost and I felt a chill go through me even though it was hot in the house. The carpet was almost laid but I had to finish myself because the Mexican got the H* out. The house is old having been built in 1848 and is two stories high.

You guys believe in ghost?I saw a ghost. My Mexican partner and I were just putting the finishing to...

Pride, Murder, Lie

Life I started out life as an alcoholic and drug addict. I used over the pain of being less than aesthetically attractive with an ugly overbite glasses and booze flab. I finally did something about it after my controlling dad died. I went on a diet and got my teeth fixed and just got a general makeover before it was "in vouge" to do so and as soon as I did that I very suddenly had a sex life with the women doing the chasing! I kid you not! I went to A.A. for a while to do something about my situation and my addiction. But ended up leaving over all the responsibility the fellowship was dumping on me that I was nowhere near ready for. But I went back after a slip, and had my makeover in between. The second I got back I saw a girl there I knew from before who recognized my voice to which she said very loudly "I Approve!!!!" Another one saw me sitting in front making hungry cow eyes at me and made a beeline to sit next to me. All was great until I spoke up to share about solution then thoise eyes became very big, her jaw dropped like lead, and the color drained out from her face when she realized who I was. So much for the "philosophy" of beauty vs ugly. I ended up doing a lot of woman to make up for lost time of using over the pain. A lot of women lie to themselves and the fish when it comes to sex and they'll drop their drawers almost in an insant if ythe right one comes along. Live and rock out with your tits and cock out and be happy!!! :-)

Life I started out life as an alcoholic and drug addict. I used over the pain of being less than aes...

Murder, Love

Wish he would die Sometimes I wish my man would just drop dead. Today was one of those days. He yelled at me because I told him he is addicted to his work phone. He has convinced me that he isn't looking at women on his work phone, or as he called it "I am not looking at naked women or my girlfriend on this phone" when he has told me continuously that he isn't cheating or doesn't want to cheat. I know he didn't get enough sleep the night before and has a long drive to work, but he didn't have to yell at me. I wasn't even implying that he was leering at anyone. I wish he would drop dead.

Wish he would die Sometimes I wish my man would just drop dead. Today was one of those days. He yel...

Pride, Murder

fuck off rupet murdauch spastic bastard. you are a killer a murder. go die.

Murder, Abuse, Hate

stop abusing me david I don't want to know you. no one here likes you.

Murder, Abuse, Hate

i want you on your ass@! get out of my life!

Murder, Abuse

my dad keeps saying "I only wear the Killkenny Cream Whiskey cap so someone be reminded to kill the bastard" and I said "well you can wear it out and I hope someone does kill him" so he wore it out and that is what my father thinks of ken.

my dad keeps saying "I only wear the Killkenny Cream Whiskey cap so someone be reminded to kill the ...

Murder

I'm sick of bitches putting fake hope of marriage and motherhood on to me when I've been told its too late for kids for me by the church and gynos. so what is the point of forcing my body to do something it would struggle to do now when I wanted to all that when I was young and healthy? the risk of heart problems and stroke and other hormonal things with my neurological problems hardly makes it worthwhile. I don't understand people who give fake hope to a lost cause. its like whipping a dead horse or expecting to live to 500 or 200. its not likely without a lot of medical advancement and if when I was beautiful I couldn't attract men how can I now older and uglier and boring and I am someone who will not tolerate fools and I have a lot tolerance to everyone and everything really quickly so you don't want to tick me off as I could have the capacity to get violent with men or anyone with all the weight lifting I do and I don't go out of my way to harm others but if you thought I was hard to get on with years ago I am worse now and I am not a nice person to everyone and I don't want to be around losers from my past who I would easily kick. I have dedicated my life to study and myself because no one good enough dedicated themselves to me. and I am not accepting the old shit I accepted years ago that was pushed on me that I didn't like. I wouldn't tolerate richard anymore or ken or another keith or anyone like that, not another michelle or another Sheryl or another maria or relatives or jobs. I have changed and I am grumpy and cranky like my mother, father and sister a lot. Its a bother to be nice to most people when I would like to kick them out of my way even just going shopping. I won't tolerate much now.

I'm sick of bitches putting fake hope of marriage and motherhood on to me when I've been told its to...

Murder, Hate

Sometimes I hate myself. I hate how I can't function like normal people sometimes because I'm mildly autistic. I hate that I screw things up and people say it's no big deal when it feels like it to me. I hate myself because I feel like I'm failing to meet expectations of those close to me. I hate myself when I don't know how to react sometimes when one of my friends are hurt. I hate myself because sometimes I feel like I don't have any emotions or I simply don't care when I should. And sometimes I hate myself for thinking suicidal thoughts when I have a great family and amazing friends. And sometimes they are the only thing keeping me going. i know i killed her to have him. so what? women do this.

Sometimes I hate myself. I hate how I can't function like normal people sometimes because I'm mildly...

Murder, Marriage

doret told me "if you need to use more words then 6 don't even bother to explain to others, let them work out for themselves why you can't or won't do something or left or chose something or someone else", so I did for a number of years.

doret told me "if you need to use more words then 6 don't even bother to explain to others, let them...

Murder

she and he forgets to put the medicine in the fridge cuz s/he is old not a good enough excuse when you going to learn to be perfect as me? never. never . never . never!

she and he forgets to put the medicine in the fridge cuz s/he is old not a good enough excuse when y...

Pride, Murder

ok, i am on birth control (obviously)- ok, i am on birth control (obviously)- however, i never let a guy c inside of me until recently. my boyfriend did for the first time a couple weeks ago and ever since then when we have s i always let him do it. we talked about it and are unsure if its okay to keep doing it but we both can't help it because it turns us on so much. even though i can't feel him cuming inside of me, it turns me on to know that his c** is there.. anyone else feel this way? is it healthy to allow this to keep happening?

ok, i am on birth control (obviously)- ok, i am on birth control (obviously)- however, i never let ...

Murder, Love

I've never wanted my best friend to be I've never wanted my best friend to be happy. It's ridiculous, but I would always get this bittersweet pleasure whenever she didn't get something she wanted. Though, when she gets the boys [and believe me, they keep coming], I'd always feel so...unsatisfied. I always wish my friends would hate her, because she's far more fun than me. The only reason why they'd hate is because she's not a very good friend. She's notorious for stealing boys and being a "w****" [although, I would never call her that], and banging up trusts. It's crazy, but I had to get it out there. Call me a bad person. A bad friend. I do her no wrong. I just think wrong. And I am already ashamed of that.

I've never wanted my best friend to be I've never wanted my best friend to be happy. It's ridiculou...

Murder

Confused about life I have no idea what to write...this is my first time doing this. I usually don't do this or talk about things but I thought I should give it a try... I'll probably just ramble about somethings and just say whatever is on my mind, hahaha...probably if anyone of you do finish this you'll think I'm either a freak, stupid, dumb, evil, or whatever... I know I am no saint and for sure I know I have done SO many things wrong, and i know I should let it go since its in the past but...it all comes back haunting me and I just don't know what to do anymore. I bet you probably wondering what I mean...I guess I'll just give you a somewhat story of my life and let you guys judge me, my choices, my actions, and everything or something I guess... Since the beginning of what I can remember my dad has a gambling problem and my mom became strict and puts the family above all else. At times we would never see my dad for days and my mom would always think of ways to get him back either thinking of scaring him by taking us somewhere else, telling him stories about incidents like almost being robbed or having bad things occur to us. Since they were also new to America they were also set in there traditional Asian ways with carpal punishment. But the thing is my dad took all his anger and frustration on my mom, and it passes down...from my dad to my mom, them from dad and mom to my brother, and from those three to me, and then usually from me to my sister. with me in the middle of the line up of siblings. As a child I never went to friends house, first time ever was in middle school. (no birthday parties or anything). It was always school and home...with how our parents were...a gambler and a supporter, us children were always either studying, playing our n64 or watching tv with the eldest in charge, my brother...we barely ever saw our parents only early in the morning or at night. Things got bad and we moved, but things didn't really change. Father didn't gamble because he was busy with things my mom got two jobs to pay off debts, but in the end those debts found the, and my dad decided to get "easy money" gambling again. Thats when my mom's parents moved in with us. things were okay for a while, but in the end we had to move again. both our parents got jobs, my brother moved out. but things didn't really change...dad was a gambler, my was still strict with money and put the family first, brother was still everyone's favorite, my sister was still spoiled and everyone would always have her back, and me...I tried to gain some control but never ever works...I found that out the hard way several times, once before we ever moved when i was yelling at my sister for breaking my cassette player and woke my dad up from his late slumber after coming back from the casino and he got irritated and mad and had a metal rod...started hitting me and in the end I ended up with a hole in my head...fortunately it did not go through the skull...other times I learned my lesson from my brother because I couldn't do well on a game I was playing with him, or I was doing the same thing he does to me on my sister. As time went by, after our first move before my mom's parents came, I slowly got into girls but because of how i was raised I didn't really put myself out there for dating because my parents were against it...but I was intrigue nonetheless...especially more so when my sister fell of a mountain bike that was obviously too big for her and hit her crotch on the bar...I took her home which was not even a block away and she said she was bleeding and said I had to look...I was against it at first and said I should get out mother but she insisted and I did and although she was bleeding I was amazed, but in the end I saw a cut and went and got mother. few months later, the thought hunts me and I somehow convinced her to bath with me, keep in mind I was a middle schooler...and all we did was bath. not long after that I got caught and it never happened again and around that time was when my mom's parent's came. Like I said after they came not long we moved again and my brother moved out...not much drama goes on except I try to gain some control but in the end I was still the one being taught a lesson by my parents. then my mom's brother daughter moved here with her son...and we got close quick but slowly I got interested...I started with her undergarments, then moved on to her used ones...then her husband came and I backed off all the way, did some stupid things to her kid...scared him, pranks, such and such...but in the end they found their own place...my father still gambles away all his earning and whatever he can find at home, my mom is still trying to secretly hide her money and protect her family meanwhile trying to get him to stop in the end all they do is argue. before ending my middle school life, I decided to set the school trash can on fire and that went on my record...I don't know if I wanted to get back at the school, rebel against my parents or what but I did it...Not long later, my mom's dad dies...that just put me down so much, he used to help me even if I was in the wrong...after that not much changes...drama everywhere, I slowly rebel sorta...started lying to my parents about school work and everything and started going to friends house, do homework, play games, hang out...anything but go home, home should be a place to be yourself and relax, but to me home is h*** and I'm barely ever happy here. Anyway, after the summer I was accepted back to school at the beginning of the school year...everything is the same, I lie and don't go home, still try to gain some control but pretty much gave up, barely associate with family...dad still gambles, and so on... Then we finally get to go on our first family vacation back to our native country...met all my mom's relatives, mostly hung out with my mom's younger sister's 4 daughters...actually 3 because one had to work all the time...but in the last two weeks of the vacation me and my sister went to their house and lived there so it was easier to do fun things. as the vacation time went up, I was deeply sadden because it was truly the first time I had fun and relaxed a little...then a year or so later my mom's younger sister's family moved to lived with us...fast forward a little, the youngest of the 4 is around my age and we got along somewhat well...but somehow we got into a more intimate stage, family found out a little was not too happy, gave us warnings, but we just snuck behind their back...that just pushed me more into girls, in which I screwed over two friendships with, and gave up many chances...in the end, she broke it off because I didn't have time because I was working as a salesmen...now, not only have I screwed up two friendships, but also any relation with her (cousin). Now, I look at myself and see what I have become...as a child I wanted to be extraordinary...be a person with super powers or do something amazing to be unique...but now, all I see is a neet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NEET) who has sleep paralysis occasionally, alone while all his friends move on with their life...constantly wondering why he is alive and what he will ever do. Looking back at all his mistakes and wishing and hoping to go back and fix them. Wondering if his death is better for him and everyone...constantly thinking about randomly disappearing from everyone he knows. Also, what is death like, where does one go, how does one feel. Right now, I guess I am just confused about everything and all the mistakes and such that I have made...I guess I am trying to run away from it rather then deal with it because I don't know how. I feel like I am losing everything while everyone is moving ahead and away. i don't want to be left alone and stuck, but I don't want the change either. I just don't know anymore, I just want another life...I want a restart, I just want a end button. please help.

Confused about life I have no idea what to write...this is my first time doing this. I usually don'...

Murder, Love

go die katyR fuck off and die whore spastic. go die whore you murdering shitbag loser. druggy freako sex manic nutcase. "you need to get into my head do you?" well go buy a xray you spastic turdwonder!

go die katyR fuck off and die whore spastic. go die whore you murdering shitbag loser. druggy freako...

Murder, Abuse, Hate

so many fleas here i have to put flea control on myself. the cost of pet hosptials and specialst. i will have to go murder a rich bastard to survive.

so many fleas here i have to put flea control on myself. the cost of pet hosptials and specialst. i ...

Murder

aa 37 days but will i make it through xmas when I hate aa so much.

Pride, Murder, Abuse, Stealing

You don't want to read this because nobody wants to read anything written by me. No one wants to hear anything I say. There is no one that comes to mind that actually cares about me. That actually wants me around them..

You don't want to read this because nobody wants to read anything written by me. No one wants to hea...

Murder, Lie, Stealing

When i was 16 my best friend and i would skip school to watch porn at my parents house. We came across one my dads vintage tranny videos. The sight of 2 glamorous crossdressers having sex had us embarrassingly hard. After a few weeks our curiosity was too much so we slipped into some of my mums stockings, suspender belts and highheels. We only planned on watching the movie dressed up but within a few minutes we were touching each other. Next thing we were locked in a 69er together. At first we had no idea what we were doing so we just followed the movie. It didn't take long to get into it and wow it was incredible. Here we were, 2 best friends dressed in my mother's lingerie and heels sucking each other's cocks. We both exploded with cum which to be honest smelt and tasted terrible. We both vowed never to speak of it again but sure enough a week later we were at it again. This time i swollowed his cum as i fucked his arse with one of mums vibrators. I felt like such a slut it was amazing. I wanted to fuck him but he didn't want it anymore. For me though i was hooked and haven't looked back.

When i was 16 my best friend and i would skip school to watch porn at my parents house. We came acro...

Murder