Confessions about 'Hate'

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I can see how ken was helping himself and not me and only a dirty man would do what he did only dirty people allow that.

I can see how ken was helping himself and not me and only a dirty man would do what he did only dirt...

Abuse, Hate

personally I can't see how a woman working 14 hour shifts 6 days a week in govt job and running over 3 or 4 exchanges could have the time or want to be in a porn film, it wouldn't help her career and all her managerial status jobs!

personally I can't see how a woman working 14 hour shifts 6 days a week in govt job and running over...

Hate

i hate knots

Hate

I have felt like someone doing witchcraft on me again trying to make me sick and I don't like it.

Hate

all last night my heart was racing I keep telling these pharmacists I need specific tablets because not all generics are the same. so if they don't do what I want next time I am going to another pharmacy because I do all that work and explaining to them what my doctor wants these particular tablets on my files at the pharmacy. all last night my heart was racing so I mean maybe the coffee could have added to it or the detox liver cleanse thing but overall the quality of the tablets are the issue with me.

all last night my heart was racing I keep telling these pharmacists I need specific tablets because ...

Hate

why do super greens powders taste bloody awful

Hate

today I felt offended. I went to buy and very beautiful orchid and the cashier was making out it was not healthy and I should have stuck with "I will take it anyway" she made it sound like it was a difficult task and its not at all to cut the old roots off, I think she just wanted it for herself or repot it and sell it at a dearer price, some orchids will droop depending on the breed and I am sure she diddled me, we put a ticket in the raffle and the lady said "well I hope you win the raffle then" we go to all these flower exhibitions taking photos and I love the smell and I could take photos a lot and interview the society people and how they judge it, it all seems so scientific and like "clever clever". then I thought of a childrens books activity and stories around flowers we have photographed. and thought it would be good to interview the winners plants and talk about their work in floral art and plant cultivation and prize judging! I talked to a guy today who was explaining to me how they cross pollenate to get her varieties and colors. that is my sort of interest not joyce and frngie bi/gay swingers clubs. I wouldn't want to be in sexual rubbish and I didn't put my name to anything I did with rick and katy or joyce or anita. cuz I just don't need the bs of it all. I am past all that. so anyway we did by a hanging orchid and moss and we bought another one a while back and I want to get more confidence growing them I would love a whole conversatory of them and nocturnal flowers that glow in the dark and radiate vibrant strings of delight, already we have a peach tree, frangipani will flower soon, 2 types of jasmin, camelias (I want to learn how to wax them), also azalahas and these japanese look yesterday,today, tomorrow and bromiliads and ciads agapathas and staghorns and clivia, bird of paradise and alamanda and flowering may and hibscus and geishas and roses delbards and david austins and herbs and lavander and this thing that has a sweet honey strong aroma at night so it does smell very frangrant during august, sept, october. but I did like this white orchid. so i was hurt. the fragrance of the big ones was lovely and I like the hanging ones a lot.

today I felt offended. I went to buy and very beautiful orchid and the cashier was making out it was...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I have to use eye drops to help my eyes if I don't I risk going blind.

Hate

I don't like the advertising on the railways lately, its not nice and it has a mean arrogance to it. its spiteful really I notice this in a lot of adverts. like I can't stand laughing women and kids I just feel they are satanic and laughing at you. then there is the cheeky ones with kids poking tongues at those quick id photo labs in shops I find these offensive deeply as if the child is being vulgar to people and it literally makes me want to cry or do it back. like one day a child did that to me so I gave him the old elbow up fist "meaning up your ass with this fist" kind of thing and was his mother offended that I would up and do that to her rude child. I did it right infront of my mum as well and she said well, the little brat is all of 3 being nasty like all my life I have had kids and people being nasty to me, its rare for me to meet someone who is nice anymore because children have become so childish now. and it was a rare thing for me to be allowed to be childlike let alone childish. and I have feelings too. so when people at college in 2004 were calling me ugly and abusing me I told them off and didn't go back it was their unprofessional behavior that drove me away from them. my sister was saying all her friends and husbands said I was ugly. and I thought well know what people think your ugly. the way you treat people is ugly. your games are ugly. its like these royals and pop stars who are abusive. that is not nice, its just plain ugly. what ricky and william did to me was just plain evil ugly. its unforgiveable. like all my relatives. I don't have any cousins and relatives then ones at home here. I don't care for them because they didn't do the right thing by me. like the churches. they all wronged me. so now I can be like "oh mum she/he wronged me! she/he wronged me mum!" bla bla bla that little crapper went on with his lies so I do it back to people. royals don't want to like me even when i was nice well they can stuff off and pop stars. they are the worse liars. lucky I don't have to be around those sorts of people anymore. i wasn't put on this earth to be abused by rich spoilt royals with their abusive games!

I don't like the advertising on the railways lately, its not nice and it has a mean arrogance to it....

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I don't like liars and sexual preditory women who are like valentina, they are evil, dirty over sexed, beastial, vulgar, hypocrites and bed hop whoring does not make you some puritan later. I don't believe this woman is of good spirit and I believe her to be evil and deceptive and rude, arrogant, spiteful and nasty I never liked her. liars never change from being liars. a leapard never changes its spots.

I don't like liars and sexual preditory women who are like valentina, they are evil, dirty over sexe...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I never liked liar valentita! she was a mental case with her "what bible character am I this week" freak mental case abuse games. I don't have time for a mental womans ego mania who bed hops around like a whore everywhere like her. you can tell she is a born liar. the woman has no morals at all. I never liked her from the minute I met her or a lot of very disturbed people at that crazy place that is not a church anyway, its a monolith to a warlock idiot paster. they are all nutters! they allow drugs to be sold on the premises and you can tell that guy is a crazy idiot. I don't think his heart is in religion for the right reasons and I found them very nasty and arrogant people to be honest. and I don't like fr warbruck either the guy came across very fake, nothing like the person I remember when I was a child, he came across arrogant, strange and uncaring, he must have wondered why I wanted to see him and I don't why I bothered anyway if I had know I was going to exploited and used like that. and I am disappointed in the catholic churches all round really, they have not honorred god correctly and how they treated a lot of abuse kids in poverty like us just because your white in australia doesn't mean you grew up with a toilet to shit in. heaps of people didn't have those things it was common place to take a dump or pee outside at night together and not even have toilet paper or a nappy or toothpaste or soap. people think "you white in australia you should never be down" its just not like that and we came from farms like subsistance poor farmers and low income working poor. welfare and disability. discrimination in another way turned backwards and upside down and anything to spell "life is against you winning at love work or friends!" and it was called church life! I woke up and seen the truth- its just bullying back-the-front with some fancy words and fancy robes and fancy buildings with vanity all over the walls and in the hearts of the people who run the churches even the catholics and who own them, catholics only want you to be in the church if you are rich they will chase you if you have money to be a nun or priest you buy your way in to the top like all other churches, they are all vanity buy your way in concepts, that is not god!

I never liked liar valentita! she was a mental case with her "what bible character am I this week" f...

Abuse, Hate

I don't have a brother or sister !

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I ain't ya sister! I have no siblings!

Pride, Abuse, Hate

my mother was used to having her clothing custom privately made for her as a career woman in govt management and she did a fashion design course and made her own clothing as well one was a red dress in 1940s design with a bow in the empire waist and a little bolero she made it her self and she made some of my clothes and my sisters graduation satin dress and she taught me to make clothing but I have forgotten a lot. I used to have confidence at sewing on the old 1970s singer sewing machine but I have no confidence at the new one we bought a few years ago. mum can draw up draft patterns from scratch she is very good at calculating that but we occasionally had a few laughs at our mistakes as well.

my mother was used to having her clothing custom privately made for her as a career woman in govt ma...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I also bought a vintage oroton scarf but I do that a lot, I bought my mum vintage Givenchy scarfs and handbag and perfumes. Its been a god awful addiction I did overcome.

I also bought a vintage oroton scarf but I do that a lot, I bought my mum vintage Givenchy scarfs an...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I just got back from the shop to get food for the cats and my back is aching so bad I just have to give in and take some pain killers. sorry god but its just too much when hips and back are aching with slip disc and gangolion cysts. that is when I could easy go a needle in the back.

I just got back from the shop to get food for the cats and my back is aching so bad I just have to g...

Abuse, Hate

I wish I knew a real man. real income. real friends. being welcome. I can't remember the last time I felt welcome genuinely!

I wish I knew a real man. real income. real friends. being welcome. I can't remember the last time I...

Abuse, Hate

I hate leaving my cats - they are all I really have. no one else really loves or cares and I guess that is how it will always be, it will never change. my life never changes for the better, I am too old now to believe it could. its all too late now. everything always comes too late to me and its thrown at me thanklessly as well, which is insulting. and usually its rubbish and not quality compared to everyone elses life.

I hate leaving my cats - they are all I really have. no one else really loves or cares and I guess t...

Abuse, Hate

ever since the stitches in the vagainal area its been painful on and off, with sharp pains at times. byopsies concern me and results as always seem weird, I guess I have to go back soon and then it will be internal tests and blood in the urine issues I just worry ever since the gp said he was worried about a tumor in the bladder and I am worried about tumors everywhere, from head to foot. I wish I knew why I can't seem to find a normal man. I have wondered should I go overseas to find one , why do they act like bozo clowns rather then a real man!

ever since the stitches in the vagainal area its been painful on and off, with sharp pains at times....

Pride, Abuse, Hate

we can't afford this cruise I just can't see it happening. we never go anywhere and to be honest. I really want to go with a boyfriend/husband not with my parents. I know it sounds selfish but I just am sick of people expecting me to pay for their house to be fixed, their furniture, their this their that. what about what I want!... that is what this nurse said to me... she said you are a great person for all you been through you have to be selfish now. my doctor said you have probably left it too late to have kids, my heart tells me that too with its pulpitations, and the more time goes on the lack of a marriage and baby has made the anxiety and pulpitations worse. I never wanted to be in this situation. I wanted a career and husband ages ago. its only joyce and sarina russo who have been plotting against me and my neighbors - if they would stop plotting against me I would have had more out of life. they know what they did! they have to live with what they did to me!

we can't afford this cruise I just can't see it happening. we never go anywhere and to be honest. I ...

Abuse, Hate