Confessions about 'Bu'

Page 101 of 198

like when I did a silly little half day on camera presenters course I tried to talk about my character in my childrens book, I wanted to get children and adults and most all myself to see that nothing is impossible so it was just a play on words , largely I was brought up in a very negative put down environment by other relatives etc, "oh don't get idea's you can be a somebody or do something valuable" and that hurt me deep down. the central childrens character in my book was to face his fear and "do what he does best" to be a possum with some magic in his eyes by the night moonlight. a bit silly I guess. I wanted to make a series on this and I worked on a few other books but I just couldn't put my heart into them last year at all. and I went taking photos instead and just more study, if I couldn't find an illustrator, I would do it myself . but I don't draw like I used to. I was expecting to be having a completely different set of goals and values by now, and I just dont understand why I am not married and why people don't like me and don't want me around, cuz I picked that up in the choirs and other places, its like I am never welcome much, and when I am its like a shock to me. the bullying does hurt because I was always so supportive of others but I found others were not genuinely supportive of me.

like when I did a silly little half day on camera presenters course I tried to talk about my charact...

Abuse

I think my dads personal career dreams was to work in politics or sports commentary but I am not sure, a lot of people made fun of my grandmother or great grandfather buying my dad this huge old dictionary when he was a child and he took piano lessons and he liked a big variety of music but I don't know sometimes he says to me I would like to learn more of what I know and new things as well, he has done some, to be honest. where as my mum had done dressmaking and photography as a teenager but my mother likes a variety of things like a writing group. I guess we all have dreams mine was to graduate and marry and have children and I wanted to do a variety of things and not be pushed down into one area of work perminantly. but I have not achieved all of what I wanted. I have never liked the way I wanted to be for the giving person I am inside. I think I made the mistakes of being too forgiving too spiritual. I got into meditation rather young at school and in me there is a bit of a frustrated actress, a frustrated paralegal, a frustrateed person in all ways, wondering "oh why was i never good enough for the youthful loving romance I wanted and a special beautiful wedding day that I helped others do".

I think my dads personal career dreams was to work in politics or sports commentary but I am not sur...

Abuse

a lot of people laugh at my dad because he is just like the character Frank Spencer from Some Mothers Do Have Em, the song to that show can be coded, but its been hard on mum and us because we grew up moving house renting a lot and no car, dad always had low paying jobs, like in the 1960s and 1970s radio and sports paper journalism writing was low paid part time work, he got into a science degree and some business diploma and done other study as well. but people have no idea how hard it has been. I am not complaining about the sake of it but its just pure fact. my mum worked for a parliamentarian for a while and before she married she was the manager of a number of telephone exchanges and travelled, if you see the way those old telephonist boards were connecting calls and overseeing managing all the girls its like being a air traffic controller. my parents have done a lot of community volunteer work like my mum did the family history research librarian work and her radio show on family history research with a group of people and she has been doing nutrition and history research courses. dad did a lot of alp and community radio test broadcasting and to get the licence for broadcasting, we are sick of being fucking poor pathetics people make out "oh you have no skills, you are a welfare mentality" its offencive.

a lot of people laugh at my dad because he is just like the character Frank Spencer from Some Mother...

Abuse, Hate

I didn't feel like I was wined and dined to my comfort and enjoyability. among other things.

Abuse

I don't believe a thing they report on current affairs shows, its scripted dumbied up actors playing parts they don't touch real life stories at all. I think they are a joke much like the news. don't believe all you see on there as real.

I don't believe a thing they report on current affairs shows, its scripted dumbied up actors playing...

Abuse, Hate

I got sick of the "his/hers" cryptic messages in europe bastian and ruck. v-upsetting mental absuse. 1999-2005.

I got sick of the "his/hers" cryptic messages in europe bastian and ruck. v-upsetting mental absuse....

Abuse, Hate

find another hobby horse J I think you overuse this service.

Abuse, Hate

Dad abused me

Abuse

one thing kelly did teach me was if a fat dwarf disability woman-man-child can have a husband and an ego and rights then so the fuck hell can I, the problem I was taught in christain college and law school how to fight for others rights and not my own, no one told me about my rights! I was always taught by nuns to put my needs last and I owe nothing to dam peter and those mongrel german cunts. they molested me. they abused me. I never said I knew everything, but I have a right to know and expertise in something that someone else can't like everyone else! so as for the rude DR Khanas I wondered if you were that cunt who was a young puke sandra used to call her mothers boyfriend, Luke but she called him PUKE! cuz that spastic asshole hung up on me and sandra and it was a fucking user - like that song goes , NO scrubs, while I am grateful for your medical help I don't appreciate your insults, as I never had an abition to learn medicine and be a GP GENERAL PUBLIC! ASSHOLE AND WHY SHOULD YOU FEEL THE NEED TO BE SO COMPETITIVE WITH A PATIENT WHO DOESN'T EVEN CARE ANYWAY? I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD MEN WHO FEEL THE NEED TO BE COMPETITIVE WITH WOMEN ITS REALLY A TURN OFF TO WOMEN YOU KNOW. THEY DON'T LIKE IT. IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND GIRLS, GIRLS DON'T LIKE GUYS WHO PULL STUNTS AND PLAY COMPETITIVE GAMES AND BULLY, GIRLS JUST DON'T LIKE IT. I INSULTS THEM. WE DON'T FORGET A THING WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT PEOPLE SAY TO ME. THERE IS NO COMPETITION BECAUSE I'M NOT EVEN COMPETITING. because I have no need to. so HAHAHAHAHAHAHA back ! faker!

one thing kelly did teach me was if a fat dwarf disability woman-man-child can have a husband and an...

Abuse, Hate

I have a right to prosper and irrelevent to you joyce poorter and your spastic holding back games abuse and bullying, there is nothing special about you and your genes. you don't have any right to abuse me and its been long over due someone told you so, your spastic mongrel dog. your a spastic little retarted woman who causes trouble out of jealousy. and your moral growth only shows your childishness and lack of personal growth. your a spastic stupid abusive mentally ill nutter. you don't know much and I don't have to be you, or like you. I don't have to take your loser spastic "basic bitch" advice. you retarded imbecilic mongrel corrupt pathethic woman. I told you before to go take your shit out on the mongrel therapist who abused you because it was not anyone in my family you stupid retard. go take your shit out on your family and stop expecting people to copy you. of all people you the most pathetic leader of all because you never give authetic honest genuine advice. my doctor said you have a multiple personality disorder you take on your clients issues as your own for pity and that stupid stunt you pulled with your stupid idiot friends with this running out of the back room like leo sayer with your bullshit of "you were the happiest you ever were when you with me". I somehow doubt that. you never made any one feel worthy all you did was talk down and abuse, you abused tony you abused clients, you abused you kid, god knows I never wanted to know your spastics - that spastic fool ASH, the bloke was a loser heap of non-sense and a useless arogant bastard who was lazy and a bully and sleazy idiot, I was not impressed and never wanted to know your hand me downs and cast off losers! we have different tastes, and you have no right to make a comment on my life ever again. a no communication rule is all I want from you. I don't have to play 2nd rate to your spastic ass or your mongrel shitbag dirty ugly child, I think you need to step aside and learn from this. you imbicle! that is all I will see you as, a woman who could not support younger women in need what you were paid for is a bitch indeed, and there is a price to pay for women who do not know when to step aside for their younger women who have needs because you didn't and you made the mistakes wronging me. your the weak link. your the unjustice! your the dark side and rotter. the audacity of you to expect me to live to your rule. you need to hang your head and feel guilt and say over and over "what have i done to others for selfishness" ! what is your price to pay! don't you ever do this to me ever again. I don't give a dam who know who you want to play out in some mental psychodrama but I don't have to play your rubbish. so fuck off ! my doctors do not respect you! you stupid imbecile spastic little senile woman. you were not qualified to counsel you should not have been doing it and I don't beleive you went to university before meeting me. I doubt you were in military. your behavior couldn't have coped with the disapline.

I have a right to prosper and irrelevent to you joyce poorter and your spastic holding back games ab...

Abuse, Hate

I think america is an over noted and over rated country that should take a back seat and allow other nations to rise really. god knows they have enough to sort out in their own country. but I feel that way about a lot of nations that have just gone too far with everything. sometimes modesty is a profound and important learnt virtue.

I think america is an over noted and over rated country that should take a back seat and allow other...

Abuse, Hate

my specialist said yana and other stupid people don't know what they are talking about when saying my antidepressants and calmatives are illegal drugs, because they are not illegal drugs. I don't shoot up or take illegal drugs and I am sick of this homocide against me. sick of it. I could murder the people who have done this to me. the police should do a mercy killings on my behalf to these torturers. I don't have to tolerate their senile stupid talk.

my specialist said yana and other stupid people don't know what they are talking about when saying ...

Abuse, Hate

the thing that came as a shock to me is just because someone is a doctor or ambulance person doesn't mean they don't have criminal intent in their actions to you. it took a lot for me to see this for myself. I used to have blind trust in doctors, my fave doctor who was a good doctor was Dr Frazer and he never ever once put me down for having depression or being sexually abused or that I couldn't afford medical bills all the time, unlike some other doctors. but there are not a lot of doctors around like him. I mean today they want you to come for 1 item per visit, when I used to see dr f he was like always following up on last visit and checking meds and seeing how it went even minor things always never once had to remind him to check BP or anything. I have not had as good a doctor as him since. he was a great doctor. but I don't have faith in medical people now after being bullied and abused by some. its not their place to abuse patients. if they want to do that go join the prison system or the death row prisoners in usa don't bother doing this job if you don't like actually caring about people who most times are afraid. some where out and out pig dirty rude to me, and I will never forget that feeling of betrayal. its not nice at all. you might think your funny and rich but there are richer clever and more handsome men out there then you. its like ken, he really thought he was something hot and he was so weak and cowardly he didn't even call medical aide or a fireman or police or someone when I collapsed. the guy is a loser user! or the worst kind said one police officer to me.

the thing that came as a shock to me is just because someone is a doctor or ambulance person doesn't...

Abuse, Hate

I never know when men are attracted to me. I never knew when they liked me, because most ones that liked me I didn't like them and we had nothing in common, they would be uneducated never bothered to get off their ass to go to university or work in a office job, or buy a car or do much with themselves, I have had a lot of stupid ugly old boofheads with no class and no academic back ground, and their intests are like the drive through at KFC and stupid yobo stuff I am not. and I look at them and think "what the hell would make you think I want to go out with you?" I met one guy who dropped out of university and he was very very good looking and he went back later to study like me. he was sort of like me he had had health issues and emotional problems the whole time. but I never went out with him only talk to him on transport. weird men working in the railway would do stupid things to me as if like I was strange for crossing my arms and say stupid things at me like they were old and seemed to think I was stupid even bothering to go to university. saying "SO WHAT DO YOU DO? A BACHELOR DEGREE HEY, OH SO YOU WANT TO BE A BACHELOR DO YOU?" and make fun of me like as if that would win them a like tick with me. one guy after I was in the car accident literally insulted me and called me a "Vegetable" just because I was sitting playing a computer game on the weekend on the floor with my cousins. my sisters first husbands family were extremely abusive towards us and they were all weird and arrogant, the cousins and aunties and sibblings were all weird so we up and left and didn't stay for any food after a number of insulting parties where we were made fun of about unemployment or education or money etc. only they were important and would openly make fun of us, so did my brothers godparents kids and my older cousins make fun of us all the time. I really should have done it back like my therapists told me to, but I just told them I was sick of their abuse and set strong boundaries and wish for a no communication code with them or ken carey and girls like jackie and katy martin who bashed me at school and nick and his shifty drunk frump attacking me bashing I just told them I didn't want that in my life. other people in alp and that dam mongrel tonya who went around saying I gave her bills tablets she was a blonde bitch. she needed a good kick up the bum, she hit into me as well and she was a spoilt crazy bitch who married young and was a spoilt nob. I didn't do a thing to these idiots. there is so many people I just don't want around me. I have to be extra selective now about the company I keep, I am usually caring and non-judgmental but tell you this much. I believe that I was set up to tell anita off and margie made it clear to me from day 1 that their choir wouldn't be for me, she said "you might come to 3 lessons and think this is not for me" which said to me "I DONT WANT YOU HERE FUCK OFF" which was similar to anita's approach as well and a few therapist like at evolve and cause and effucked, and restore- mary was rude to me, as was mirranda. I never judges anna-maria for her past but she went weird and I couldn't cope with her crap! I had too much issues of my own and she was just out of control flirting acting crazy and I will not be around women once they do this I avoid them, I learnt this from my days around brigette, mum and others know I won't tolerate it at all around me, I just up and leave when girls act stupid and sexual and bitchy and boucey and weirdo and I won't have a thing to do with women like that. mary at retore offended me saying I don't need to ask men to meet my parents on first date, sorry my rules are my rules, how she runs her life is not my problem, how I run my life is my choice and my business. I am a no non-sense no messing around and playing funny buggers with me sort of person. and I could be tempted to up and hit someone I have not done that but after katy robinson bashed me I hope someone bashed her back and she should keep out of other peoples business like kelly who causes trouble everywhere she goes pretending to be a friend when she is just a back stabber. I met a lot of women like her, even worse ones. I have met a lot of assholes in my time and its a wonder I am a nice person because I should have been a asshole a long time ago. but I can still hate people.

I never know when men are attracted to me. I never knew when they liked me, because most ones that l...

Abuse, Hate

I will look up the name of that springwood lawyer who was masturbating opening at me at a job interview, and also the bitch at the body bar that later became the Milique spa, there was a complete dog bitch rude in their to me. also fernwood capalaba gave me a rash virus they deserve that done back to them, the people at the Hogsbreath Cafe at Indoorpilly or somewhere were rude to me so were the staff at the alex hills taven with my legal friends, one day the woman at Snug Home said to me "feel free to leave" in 2008, there were some ass holes I worked with at the mercure hotel and also at terry whites pharmacy capalaba one boucing ex army bitch was very abusive towards me picked on me the whole time and the pharmacy guild were rude too. also at griffith university the office faculty admin there was one bitch who was abusive to me, literally in 1993 everywhere I sat she made me move and it felt like bullying! and certain teachers talking about smut and people "cum" talk in lectures that made me sick, also there was a history teacher at bayside tafe sheriden who was a complete stuck up blonde bitch who used to pick on me and benet a lot and at school I was bullied by a lot of teachers. when we went to see taxiride a group of journalist pushed all us paying people out of their way to get front row and were the most rude uppty whore slut bitch dogs who couldn't even smile at anyone with their dolly bird make up and rich designer wear and blonde fake hair - they had these big jouralism jobs and there was some real cunts at con sciaccas firm too. and the office of state revenue major slut whore dog snotty noise rich bitches there who made life hell for junors and new staff and the sexist bullying was scary. one woman literally had me in tears at russo's in 2005 phylis who was a complete mongrel fat short bitch who had been a mother and other people in the room had more skills then her, also I was verbally attacked at curves cleveland to the point I left crying when a trainer got up me for some minor thing, a tennis coach attacked the shit out of me one day in 1999 to the point I never went back. there were nameless amounts of rude black tall dolly bird bitches at centerlink one who was some catwalk model who was abusive to my me and my mother over my fathers carers pension- she deliberately made sure he couldn't get it and he had to reapply and got it the second time, the bullying by jeniffer bell and bernedette hodges was beyond it. they were so rude and abusive. nutters! jealous over nothing. not one young woman around my age and working or studying in law or business or anything I studied would talk to me with their plastic faces and cars and designer clothing. not one was friendly and I only ever mixed with the rejects and NERDS and the people the POPULAR WHORES made fun of, all through university and college and bands and school.

I will look up the name of that springwood lawyer who was masturbating opening at me at a job interv...

Abuse, Hate

no victory for the honest- I am proof of that. don't make me laugh I might die from laughter if you said good people actually win! you are so funny it makes me sick really.

no victory for the honest- I am proof of that. don't make me laugh I might die from laughter if you ...

Abuse, Hate

there is no victory in life for honest good people, only violent scammers win. don't fool yourself.

there is no victory in life for honest good people, only violent scammers win. don't fool yourself....

Abuse, Hate

lazy doctors who don't test pathology and xrays etc that is the dark side and people consumed with hatred and evil dirty git games and that makes it hard for the good doctors and patients are suffering ...

lazy doctors who don't test pathology and xrays etc that is the dark side and people consumed with h...

Abuse, Hate

the bullies are winning sadly in this world, kindness is too late to the good like me, where so broken for so long, I don't even see a future for myself anymore.

the bullies are winning sadly in this world, kindness is too late to the good like me, where so brok...

Abuse, Hate

nlp holocaust/nlp deaths happening now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXy2zU_HPWs&t=1498s

Abuse, Hate, Violence