Confessions about 'Bu'

Page 31 of 198

13 and my Mom buys me Sexy Panties and I am a Boy.

Abuse, Hate

I feel like I am the calm strong tree watching cyclones around me of other peoples cyclones of crap. sometimes they make me laugh or look at myself differently but I am poor and have no relationship or house etc but i would rather be me then be the foolish they don't even know they are living. I still want more etc and a better life. I have so many bills I have no idea where the money is coming from and also I wants and keep hope to find the man for me but it doesn't mean as much now to me, I feel like most of my dreams are over and won't come to existance anyway. my dreams are over and I have to focus on my health and doing my own thing because i doubt i will have a child or marry or have the career i wanted. I don't even have a passion or purpose. I just do whatever.

I feel like I am the calm strong tree watching cyclones around me of other peoples cyclones of crap....

Abuse, Hate

Having my 3rd child with 3rd woman I developed an impregnation fetish when I was in high school. One of my classmates had become pregnant by an older boy, which was a big issue in my small-ish town and she was keeping the baby due to her beliefs. As it happened, her pregnancy coincided with almost the whole school year, and I saw every trimester and her belly swelling up slowly. She wasn't very attractive, and a bit gullible (clearly) but it wasn't long after she started showing that I had the hugest crush on her. The boy was soon out of the picture, and while she was struggling along a bit, we had some heavy makeout sessions where I caressed her belly for the first time. That cemented it. The first woman I impregnated was a neighbor who lived up the street. I was still in final year, she was around 30 and had been trying for a baby with her husband for some time. Like Desperate Housewives, I was working - in this case, weeding and planting, at their house when she seduced me. We had an affair for several months and I confessed my attractions to pregnant women. She asked me if I would like to try to make her pregnant, and we had unprotected s from then on. She gave birth to my son about 2 months after I had left for university. After that I was full on to impregnation s. I ran a tumblr p* blog for a while in college, and mostly indulged in my fantasies with unprotected s and roleplay. Most women at college were not interested in getting pregnant. Even when I managed to send my swimmers in them, they would take a morning after pill first thing. I had to be careful to not build up a reputation, so that took a backseat for a while. After college, I trawled the internet for possible like minded women, but no luck there. All talk and no action. Luckily, Tinder came along at the right time and boom - here were women who could be reached, f*** and then talked to if they would go the next step. I decided to try older women (but not too old) since I thought they might be more open to it. Hit the jackpot first time about 2 years ago when this chubby 37 yr old teacher found my fetish hot. We roleplayed for about 3 months, then finally, she agreed to let me make her pregnant. I think she was hoping that this might have been a way to take our hookups to the next level, but once the deed was done, my attention was moving on. Harsh words were said, but ultimately she kept the baby and soon I had a daughter. About 6 months ago I moved cities and soon found a regular f*-buddy in the form of a hot housewife whose husband was a corporate big shot on the road most of the time. She had a kid already (real pain in the ass kid) but found my fetish hot. Couple of months later, she caught her husband cheating and nailed the divorce with a nice settlement. While it was going on, I popped my question and she was like "what the h***'". Just a few days ago, she told me she's missed her period, and now its pretty much certain. I hope she keeps it, but so far, life has been good to me.

Having my 3rd child with 3rd woman I developed an impregnation fetish when I was in high school. One...

Adultery, Abuse, Hate, Marriage

I was at a workshop recently with a heap of theatre nurses and I thought I would be envious of them but I found to my surprise I was not at all. And I would still prefer my cruising and layback lifestyle then all that stress and shoving shit up holes and so on.

I was at a workshop recently with a heap of theatre nurses and I thought I would be envious of them ...

Abuse, Hate

I felt very imposed on by other women asking me specific questions as like "what course are you doing but" do I need to tell you? why do you need to know ? why would you want to know? its my business not yours. go get out of my stuff and deal with your own job and relationshitp and things. I am sick of demanding bullying people and their insults as if they are perfect. I actually hate women more and more and hate men too. I really need a robot. when will they start robotinvestigations like transinvestigations. robots are more reliable and they do have a off switch. humans are shit. there is not one human being I can look up to and admire. its been that way for a very long time. no one is worth role modelling cuz they are all jokes and idiots. their so closed in their dull and boring.

I felt very imposed on by other women asking me specific questions as like "what course are you doin...

Abuse, Hate

i don't like people asking me what I am studying. I often just say nothing or change the terminology cuz I don't want them to know what I am doing. I don't want anyone knowing other then where I do it and people don't need to know everything about me to like me. somethings should be allowed to be personal. last night I felt pushed several times having women asking so what course are you exactly doing? why do you need to know? its not like its university or important.

i don't like people asking me what I am studying. I often just say nothing or change the terminology...

Abuse, Hate

Recently I experienced a relative doing that scam on everyone, she was at a reunion of her old workplace and they were all making fun of someone they used to work with who drank like a pig and was pregnant again. Did she workout they were talking about her? I knew she would be pregnant soon to this new man to hold on to him. Well it does hurt seeing others getting all you need when its just a want for them-beware the mummy hustler is upsetting. they don't need it that is why they get it. where as the person who needs it to sustain life, it will always move away from you. So I notice a lot of my family and friends lying to make it sound like they don't need they just want. they will say "Oh I don't need a man" "I hate my kids I hate parenthood" then next month they are with a new man and pregnant. so I am learning. I am waking up to others games. I should try it. I have needs like any human and wants. I live ok with out a man and kids but I am sickened by two faced liars who are a hustler. I am saying "I thought you just said YOU DON'T NEED A MAN FOR ANYTHING A NOW YOUR WITH A NEW MAN AFTER LEAVING YOUR EX JUST A WEEK AGO AND PREGNANT PLANNING A NEW BABY AND YOU SAID YOU DON'T LIKE MOTHERHOOD OR THE IDEA OF ANOTHER BABY" LIKE ARE YOU SCHIZOPHRENIC? OR YOU JUST ALWAYS DO THIS CHANGE YOUR MIND LIKE A FIRE BALL RUNNING ? CUZ YOUR ALWAYS SO OUT OF CONTROL. I have come across a lot of women like this. They seem to hone into my own energy and what I see is like a synchronicity and they break it down with NLP and their ability to steal your needs and wants and energy and synchronicity. For example I went to a party plan cosmetics company and this bossy pushy bullying manager just started picking on every aspect of my disability to cut me down to the point she near gave me a heart attack hurting my feelings. I had to say to her "how you run your business is your business and how I will run my business is my business stop constantly picking on me about giving up my drivers licence because I take medications etc" . From night one I should have seen the the warning signs because she turned to me at a meeting and it was like "well who needs a man anyway, catherine. The women all say at the company here that they have to check out my next man first to see if he is right for me" and straight away I was thinking "well, excuse me ! but speak for yourself only! I happen to need a man and want a man in my life thanks" and "I sure don't need people checking them out for me controlling me" then by week 3 of the meeting she was loudly letting every one know at the meeting she had not had sex in ages but I knew she had been married 3 times and had 2 adult children from 1 marriage and then 1 smaller child she neglected to work to another man and then they broke up and I woke up she was a serial dick chic. and maybe a love or bride addict. I hate to be judgmental of others because we are all human and we all have oddities and change our minds and I hear this about the right person comes along when you least expect it and when you are not even looking, but I feel so confused about this and the messages from other women to the point I just don't trust most other women anymore. People say to me like healers and counsellors "tell the universe what you want" the church say "make it clear to god what you want" and it will come then I read others like Dr phil and others say "never reveal what you want cuz others will take it from you" this is a mixed up world that is gonna get even more crazy. I mean what I say and do what I mean. I knew i wanted to try new career and work towards that.I don't change like the wind. therapy tells me "don't jump into things" but the people who do win" the liars get jobs over the honest. well one day their lies are just gonna get bigger and bigger til it stabs them in the back. I am so sick of "serial dick- chicks" and "love addicts and bride addicts" like on the soaps always wearing a new wedding dress and when does it stop? I have heard about these "sugar hustler mommas" who are like rich cougars out after young men, where does it stop with women who get married all the time and have kids but hate them?? I have a sister who does the same thing, a cousin and I meet a lot of women who don't wait and take relationships slowly like my therapists and healers recommend me, I feel like I keep going back to them or the church while others are surpassing me with their talents of trickery. I have found it never stops with these women , their lies just get worse and demanding controlling. within no time they are married they are on the hunt again. I have seen this also with people who job hop and you can tell the wrong person has the job. I walked past one place I went for a job and was shocked by who they employed because she looked and sounded all wrong for the job. I have met women who tell me they lied to get jobs in dental assisting and other things. its just the nature of the beast within. you can't save people from themselves. like drug addicts and the love addict bride addict will go to all lying and all efforts to wear a new wedding dress and when the drama of that is over they need a new lie and dopamine fix and new conquest and new wedding to be bride again with the new next best thing. same with baby mill mothers the mummy hustler. I fear how insane these schizophrenics are. no wonder people avoid them. you can't believe a word they say. like narcissistic its the new schizophrenia like compulsive defiant personality disorders etc I am my mid 40s and still single and un-childed and unmarried and focus on education to get a career to go to the next level or affording marriage and motherhood but a lot of these schizophrenic women just start out on welfare young and unemployed work as prostitutes and get around having multiple sex partners with every relationship and know how to lie and win over stupid mindless men. how do you break the curse so to speak? stop someone from taking your synchronicity - I came across this after watching a video on Hilter was a double agent and they talk about NLP predictive programming and minders and MK -ultra mind control and travistock cia mind control they use on agents. how ones synchronicity can be broken down by collapsing the personality with brutal lashings of abuse and twisted sister talk and then literally stealing their chance opportunities of meeting single nice men and the synchronicity that the universe is working on us to have like a new job, a new man for the lonely woman or a money or new house. I don't know enough about this mind control stuff but it seems to me a lot of people are constant winners in life in all things while others are not and I believe there is more to it then we know. why you get one family in a street that have 4 or 5 cars and jobs and men and you will have another family with no work and no prospects of hope for change and its like some bloodsucker or vampire is literally sucking the energy from those people. I have experienced this and its so painful. I dont ever tell women who I love anymore or what I do or what I plan. I just won't tell them if there is a new guy in the office I am interested in, because as soon as I do they want them. can you please help or explain some of this as to how to sheild yourself when your vulnerable from hustler mothers and wild women who are out of control but out to take from you. what is more. I don't envy these women although I think they want me to envy them but to be honest I see them as pathetic and childish. One female who wanted to show off that she had stolen the guy I liked actually came to live in my street and showed off having sex and pool parties with him and she was from overseas and it was a direct "shit on my face" act as look at me I can walk over you, when you get as powerful as me then you can do this to some other girl but your such a loser and too dumb nice to so I guess your stuck in your lost crap. that was the finish for me that this couple would be so blatant and rude. and I hope more then karma come back them for bullying me like that, and it should because they are somewhat famous and just about to get married and she is part black and marrying a white man. How do you rise above this stuff. cuz its there crap not mine. how do I stop this happening ever again. Their energy appears draining and black and negative. she even said "I am getting more light now while you are getting darker in spirit" "I made you black when you are white" what does this mean? one other girl said she was going to marry a guy on my birthday and she was calling herself my evil twin which seemed odd to me. this has just turned me off humans in general and I think a robot would be nicer company really.

Recently I experienced a relative doing that scam on everyone, she was at a reunion of her old workp...

Abuse, Hate

so you found the place hey?

Abuse, Hate

beware of the "serial d-chic" , "bride addict" or "mummy hustler". Recently I experienced a relative doing that scam on everyone, she was at a reunion of her old workplace and they were all making fun of someone they used to work with who drank like a pig and was pregnant again. Did she workout they were talking about her? I knew she would be pregnant soon to this new man to hold on to him. Well it does hurt seeing others getting all you need when its just a want for them-beware the mummy hustler is upsetting. they don't need it that is why they get it. where as the person who needs it to sustain life, it will always move away from you. So I notice a lot of my family and friends lying to make it sound like they don't need they just want. they will say "Oh I don't need a man" "I hate my kids I hate parenthood" then next month they are with a new man and pregnant. so I am learning. I am waking up to others games. I should try it. I have needs like any human and wants. I live ok with out a man and kids but I am sickened by two faced liars who are just mummy hustlers. beware the serial d-chick or bride addict and mummy hustler. I am saying "I thought you just said YOU DON'T NEED A MAN FOR ANYTHING A NOW YOUR WITH A NEW MAN AFTER LEAVING YOUR EX JUST A WEEK AGO AND PREGNANT PLANNING A NEW BABY AND YOU SAID YOU DON'T LIKE MOTHERHOOD OR THE IDEA OF ANOTHER BABY" LIKE ARE YOU SCHIZOPHRENIC? OR YOU JUST ALWAYS DO THIS CHANGE YOUR MIND LIKE A FIRE BALL RUNNING ? CUZ YOUR ALWAYS SO OUT OF CONTROL. People say to me like healers and counsellors "tell the universe what you want" the church say "make it clear to god what you want" and it will come then I read others like Dr phil and others say "never reveal what you want cuz others will take it from you" this is a mixed up world that is gonna get even more crazy. I mean what I say and do what I mean. I knew i wanted to try new career and work towards that.I don't change like the wind. therapy tells me "don't jump into things" but the people who do win" the liars get jobs over the honest. well one day their lies are just gonna get bigger and bigger til it stabs them in the back. I am so sick of serial d*** chicks and "love addicts and bride addicts" like on the soaps always wearing a new wedding dress and when does it stop? cuz it never does. within no time they are married they are on the hunt again. its just the nature of the beast within. you can't save people from themselves. like drug addicts and the love addict bride addict will go to all lying and all efforts to wear a new wedding dress and when the drama of that is over they need a new lie and dopamine fix and new conquest and new wedding to be bride again with the new next best thing. same with baby mill mothers the mummy hustler. I fear how insane these schizophrenics are. no wonder people avoid them. you can't believe a word they say. like narcissistic its the new schizophrenia like compulsive defiant personality disorders etc I am my mid 40s and still single and un-childed and unmarried and focus on education to get a career to go to the next level or affording marriage and motherhood but a lot of these schizophrenic women just start out on welfare young and unemployed work as prostitutes and get around having multiple sex partners with every relationship and know how to lie and win over stupid mindless men.

beware of the "serial d***-chic" , "bride addict" or "mummy hustler". Recently I experienced a relat...

Abuse, Hate

its so depressing looking at ripped curtains and falling paint breaking and knowing all your efforts to find a job and being able to fix things is unlikely. I don't know why I try anymore because a sensible person would give up trying to work or just run away.

its so depressing looking at ripped curtains and falling paint breaking and knowing all your efforts...

Abuse, Hate

I go to bed with worry and I wake up with dread.

Abuse, Hate

our Hugs Make Me Feel Weird. I have never been into Tory. We've been friends for 3 years and in all that time, never once did I feel anything other than sisterly love for her......................... That is, until she left for 6 months and came back looking so different I didn't even recognize her. Everytime she hugs me, I feel weird, like I almost like her like I like guys. I don't want to tell her that I might be bisexual/lesbian because I don't know how she feels about "gay" people. She's always giving me mixed signals and I don't know what to think of her. She claims to have a boyfriend, but sometimes she almost seems like she's into other girls. Everyone who knows her thinks she's gay, but she's never denied or confirmed the rumors. What should I do?

our Hugs Make Me Feel Weird. I have never been into Tory. We've been friends for 3 years and in all ...

Abuse

well once again I am poor from payout out and lining others pockets and giving! when will the nightmare of this stop?

well once again I am poor from payout out and lining others pockets and giving! when will the nightm...

Abuse, Hate

Relative Stalker Rant He is my half brother from a different mom. Eversince we got in touch he's been going overboard. He likes and comments any and everything within the second I post, calls, messages, texts me everyday almost every hour asking what I'm doing and if I'm on facebook for let's say 5 literal minutes, he brings that up when I do talk to him and asks what I was doing at the time. I feel like a b** but it'd getting out of control. And when I make it obvious to him that I'm busy he doesn't get it. Like I'll say "I'm busy right now, have to take care of kids", he goes "Okay." and keeps talking. It takes me literally 8 times to tell him I'm busy before he gets upset and makes a sad voice, the one where you can tell they're purposely wanting you to know they're upset, and says "Oh...I guess I'll talk to you later then." I'm a parent and I'm usually busy taking care of my kid most of the day and he keeps blasting my phone. He has called me ten times within one hour once and when I finally texted him to ask what was up he was like, "Oh nothing just seeing what you were up to". I love him and all but s* enough is enough. I've talked to him about not getting all moody if I'm busy and cant answer his calls many times but the next day he just forgets and does the same s*** all over again. He also throws pity parties and tries to drag me into depression with him and I just can't have that at the current time. Everyone I know has started to notice how he has been, even our own dad. I wanna be cool with him but he just can't understand that my world doesn't revolve around him.

Relative Stalker Rant He is my half brother from a different mom. Eversince we got in touch he's bee...

Abuse, Hate

I feel like I want to fall over I feel so hot and exhausted.

Abuse, Hate

I have given courses to people and money and even my whole holiday package to a couple who needed it. I mean how many people can skit about that. I have even called up companies to get other people jobs, and holidays and contracts to help them out. I gave a whole package of a overseas holiday for a competition I arranged for a group I got out of the hotel resort company just by asking them to donate it to these poor people. that is a true a beauty you see! not even to mention all the women I got out of the way for to look completely ugly so they would get their pick of men and have kids before me. and also when I did lose weight so people who were jealous of me wouldn't hurt my feelings I stayed in most nights and kept to myself living poverty healthy as possible on tuna and cockroach str fries. whoelse would be that beautiful for asians and poor needy three times married women ? hey. I should be more than a national treasure but a icon of magnificence! few could out do me.

I have given courses to people and money and even my whole holiday package to a couple who needed it...

Abuse, Hate

I wouldn't even expect my worst enemies to live in a pigsty we have been forced into my others selfishness just because I always get told how beautiful my personality is compared to other more selfish women with more in life. that is how stupid I am and yes I have accumulated many enemies for being just a beautiful person over the years and their jealous of me and how others praise my qualites all time. I wouldn't even expect my worst enemies to live in squallered hovel mystery and suffering in abstract poverty but sometimes I wish I had of wished it on them. they bully me so maybe I should just go do it back or let them wallow in their ego knowing what they have done to me. and how they can work out a win win agreement like my emotional intelligence can.

I wouldn't even expect my worst enemies to live in a pigsty we have been forced into my others selfi...

Abuse, Hate

kasamba stupid bitch on youtube about her loser boyfriend cheating. i mean how loser can you get? I would push him out and kick his ass as he left.

kasamba stupid bitch on youtube about her loser boyfriend cheating. i mean how loser can you get? I ...

Abuse, Hate

where did I last have it. trace back steps check layby order docket and layby company the package navy pants- were on the box at the bedroom door, they fell down a few times I walked past I picked them up . i could have thrown them over to the cupboard at the mirror? I don't know where they are. mum could have moved them and put them with her things she is always doing that. dad could have give them away rose could have stolen them allan could have stolen them their attitude is like "she has too much, she won't miss them anyway" she doesn't deserve anything. i help others but others don't ever help me much. everyone is always trying to take me down and steal from me, no matter what it is. I want to be in a place where I can push and bash the nails down around me that stand out. I want to have so much power no one ever turns there back on me again. I am all about me me me me. self obsession 24/7 how I am perfect and better then others and getting ahead and and how I need things more then others I need to learn to be like other women, more bitchy more controlling and pushy and self obsessed and self gaining and maneuvering people into liking me and working for my benefits to help me only at all times. i mean i am all that matters in the world that is how you get ahead thinking of yourself all the time. I have been too giving I have to learn to be selfish and conceited and self adoring more.

where did I last have it. trace back steps check layby order docket and layby company the package...

Pride, Abuse, Hate

I am curious to know where my navy pants went i need them for job interviews and work. they cost money and I can't afford to lose things and be giving free things to others. so whoever steal them let them show themselves with sudden death. I can't trust anyone, everyone is always trying to take me down. I am always being rouged and cheated out of something. I help others but others never help me much. I am sick of people stealing my things and treated my things as irrelevant. I should be treated better for all I do. I want my things to be treated sacred and i want to be treated with more respect. I have insane hatred for others. everything is about me now. I am obsessed with how I can get all I need and pushing out others where they belong down rather then them always pushing me down.

I am curious to know where my navy pants went i need them for job interviews and work. they cost mon...

Murder, Abuse, Hate